leave me in the cold

I'll admit to being a little obsessed with the X trilogy, I've watched all the movies far too many times. But I will admit that MaXXXine was my favorite, and I have to wonder what's wrong inside of my head that Maxine Minx is like the perfect woman to me. You did such an amazing job in the series, though, every film was so different in its own way, and you made each character completely unhinged in their own way, and I loved it. While I know you probably don't want to be pigeonholed into the same role over and over again, I can't help but want to see you in more horror roles like that because you're so good. Are you working on any more horror films? Or are you doing any other new projects for me to enjoy, because I love your other work too!

I have a question, how many times is too many times to watch The Hunger Games? Because I want to know if I've watched it a healthy amount of times or an unhealthy amount of times. And I'm talking about the whole series, because I've watched the whole series a few times. Or a lot of times. It might have been because I had a little crush on you, or a big one, it's whatever. Now, that's not the only movie of yours I watched, of course, I've watched most of your work, but it's just the one I've probably watched too much.

Do I dance around to your music a lot? Yes. Do I also pretend I'm in your music videos or on tour with you as one of your backup dancers? Also yes. Does that mean I think you should hire me as a dancer? I mean maybe. I'm a pretty good dancer after all, and I've got a lot of energy. Like, so much energy. A lot of people always say, "I know that boy's mom was tired," and you know what? She was. Just think about it, that's all I'm saying. And I'll even show you my skills to prove I'm pretty awesome if you need to see them live and in person.

I know that you're a wrestler for the WWE, because frankly, I live and breathe the WWE and watch it like they pay me to. But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I saw that you were a karate competitor and a former champion? That's completely badass, and I love it. I've always wanted to do karate but instead put my focus into football because I thought my endgame was going to be the NFL. Turns out my endgame was acting, but hey. Now I kind of want to learn karate again, so if you ever want to teach me some tips, I'm down.

Are you tired yet of people coming up to you and talking to you about how obsessed they are with Obsession? Because if you're not, here's my time to talk about how obsessed I am with it. I went in not sure how much I was going to like it, ended up falling in love with the movie and the whole concept of it, and have honestly seen the movie four times so far. I'm tempted to go back and see it again, that's how much I've enjoyed it. How cool is it for you to be part of something so wonderful, though?

Ever since Iconic by Mistake has come out, I may or may not be blaring that in my car whenever I drive anywhere, and I might know all the lyrics and sing it loudly. I tend to drive with my windows down too, so I'm just saying right now that I get a lot of stares too, but it's alright because I love that song so much and I'm not afraid to show it. It makes me want to see you girls do more songs with other iconic girl groups! Is there any other group that you'd like to work with?

Ever since Love?… or Something Like It came out, I've honestly been listening to it so much. It's one of my favorite albums of all time, and we're not going to talk about how much I listen to the songs Bite Your Lip or Know Bout Me. I was so glad when you finally put out a full album, though, because your voice is so killer, and now you need to go on tour so I can see you live, just throwing that out there. Also, it would give me an excuse to see you again, I think the last time we saw each other was at that Essence event.

I'm not one to listen to gossip, and frankly I'm in a few different relationships according to the gossip websites, so I know a lot of the times they get it wrong. But I will say this, hearing you were dating Mbappé, might have been what made me check out some of your work. Because I was thinking whatever badass chick locked him down needs to be someone I look into. I'm glad I did too, because I loved Bandidos so much when I watched it. Now I need to watch the first couple of seasons of Elite to see you, but I'm sure you'll be equally awesome in that.

Still a little sad that we didn't get to work together on I Know What You Did Last Summer, because that would have been cool as hell since I've wanted to work with you for a while now. Am I obsessed with Belly and The Summer I Turned Pretty? I might very well be. Now we just need to get a project put together and make it stick so we can finally work together, right? Because deep down you know you really want to work with me too.

As someone who played football, let's talk about how obsessed I was with Friday Night Lights. I've rewatched that show far too many times, and I just loved your character in it so much. And I know Texas takes their football pretty seriously, probably more seriously than any other state. But I grew up in Florida, and they take it pretty seriously there too, so a lot of what I was seeing on Friday Night Lights is stuff I had to deal with when I played high school and college ball. I just think it was a cool show, and people probably bring it up to you all the time when they talk to you, right?

It's almost crazy how many times I've watched Barbie. I've probably watched it so many times that I can sit and recite some lines word for word, and now I'm realizing that might make me sound a little insane, but I can't help it, I just love the movie so much. And maybe I'm a little sad that I wasn't asked to be a Ken or anything, because I think I might have been a good Ken, but it's whatever. If you do a sequel, though, you better think of me!

What's the lamest line someone has ever used on you to try and pick you up? Now, I'm not asking because I want to make sure I don't use that same line or anything, I promise. I'm just curious. Okay, maybe I'm asking a little so I don't use that same line, because sometimes my game is strong and sometimes I've got the game of Steve Urkel. But mostly I am just curious and a little bit hoping I made you laugh with this whole nonsense.