Jordan

People comment on posts like they're the first person on the planet earth to tell you about nuance

not everyone does that. it depends

hey does anybody want to see my collection of slightly distorted pictures of cats as viewed through glasses

i hate it when customers get mad about policy and go “well i’ve always thought it worked differently” like ok. when i was a kid i thought the drains in sinks and bathtubs lead to Hell and i would pour things down them for the dead people. it turns out that you can think things that aren’t true

some people seem to be under the impression that i am taking 6 hours to do a single sudoku. this is not the case. i am doing more sudokus than you could possibly comprehend in those 6 hours.

i love re-consuming media i used to love when i was younger. like wow! child me still is in me i am holding her hand and keeping her safe and doing her favorite things with her!!!!

I won an evil laugh competition last night

take figures out of their boxes btw. sew patches on your favorite jacket. go to bed with your favorite plushes. wear the pants you usually save for special occasions. draw something cool on your wall. put a sticker on your laptop. dye your hair and pierce your lips. glass is meant to break, metal is meant to rust. items are meant to be used. that's how the world knows that somebody loved them.

When my aunt died of covid, we had to clean out a lot of stuff that she was saving. Foods she was going to try, she was a great chef, spices she'd never opened or only used sparingly, lotions and bath things she hadn't used. After she died I started making a point of using things up: the good vanilla that has to be imported, that we finally found more of, we'd used barely an ounce before she passed away. Even though we love it. I just got my family new bottles of it for Christmas because we used one up. We enjoyed that happiness. Sometimes I still get the impulse to wait for something special, or awful, to save nice things for celebration or comfort. The phrase that always echoes in my mind is "use the good vanilla". And I have been (burning the candles, squirting the body wash, dissolving the bath bombs, putting the saffron in things). And it's been great. Use the good vanilla.

do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything

doctors be like "we have no idea what causes this extremely mysterious illness" and the illness is something that affects 1 in 8 women

I love the Nintendo switch but the Nintendo switch doesn’t love me, you know? I felt like the wii loved me

yeah i couldn’t be trusted with a penis id get hard from the way the sun shines through the leaves and everyone would hate me