Elegantly Imperfect

I would do it all again as long it’s always you.

Love is one of the most beautiful things and I truly pray every person gets to experience it.

We've come a long way from where began.

I woke up in the middle of the night that night from a dream actually. And in that dream I came up with our wedding hashtag. It kept repeating over and over and over again in the dream. Coming in different waves and different tones. I instantly woke up. The humidifier was still on and the lights from it were dancing around the room. I picked up my phone, went to the notes app, and I typed it. I typed it exactly how it appeared to me in the dream. You know how quick the memory of a dream flees your mind when you wake and I wanted to be able to recite it to you when we woke up. So I typed it out. I remember in our morning conversation I told you about it and we were shocked that it happened. You asked me, “is this our hashtag?” And I said I don’t even know but this was the epiphany I had. I remember a day or two later or maybe even that day you were with bestie boy and you asked me to tell him our hashtag and I geeked out because one, you remembered and two, you were happy to tell him. I remember telling you nooooo we can’t say and I don’t know if that’s our thing. I mean honestly who knows if that’s our thing. Honestly I always dreaded the hashtag thing because people always come up with such great ones and I’m like wow that’s a lot of pressure but I also didn’t want to have a cheesy lame one. Butttt I also love the idea of this being the one and the cute story behind it. You know I love a good story time so we shall see. I honestly don’t want it or desire this whole thing just for like the social media hashtag to be honest. I honestly want it so we can make a beautiful script sign that will hang maybe at the entrance or maybe like a photo section. And I think it really will fit in every stage of our life as we grow. I just think it’ll be a cute way to make this whole thing personal. You know me, it’s all about the little things. Anyways, we shall see but I just loved how it came to me in a dream, same way you are my dream love.

I think I want to do something that I have been doing for some years now and didn’t even know it. I think I want to continue to talk to future me about current me. About all that I feel, desire, dream of and more. I remember coming back here last year and reliving all the little nuggets of talk to future me which is now current me. I remember reading them and being transported to the time I wrote it. I loved how I was able to freeze time and keep it tucked away only to come back and see it. To share it with the people I projected into my life. It was amazing because I didn’t have to guess or imagine what I felt or desired. I had it there in black in white and in my own words and it was cool to be able to share it. So I think I want to continue that. Especially now where life is really life’n and things are changing and developing quickly. I’m cheesy and I love to be able to look back on how far I’ve come and my life has come. I keep so much of my thoughts in my head or I express to others but I think it’d be nice to have it written out here and in different places besides my phone and journals. So I can come back and share it. I know I have a lot to say and I know future me would love to have a good old laugh and cry with it all.

I waited on God to answer and He surely didn’t disappoint.

We get to do this everyday and forever. It’s the greatest gift and I’m glad we get to do it together.

I get to love him for the rest of my life and that in itself is one of the greatest gifts.

I legit thought this was going to be so much easier. I never thought the person closest to me would be the one against all of this. The crossroads have come.

I wrote to old me today. I thanked her for never giving up because the view from here is beautiful. I also wrote to current me and thanked her for having faith, not asking small but BIG, and for being open to new things. The bumps on this journey have been bumping but it’s been worth it. The happiness that leaps from inside of me is alot. When God said to hold on and trust, He truly meant it. He opened my heart, gave me my missing piece and I’m forever grateful. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and who I’m supposed to be with. I am so loved and surrounded by it in its abundance. I’m happy so very happy for this chapter. It was not early nor late but on time. Love is truly patient and truly kind. It is all that and so much more. It is so easy when it’s right and guided by God. I fully understand now. More than I did before. My heart is so full and I just want to continue the plans God has bestowed on me. He is good and life is lovely. I’m forever thankful that I was able to get over my fear, ask for what I truly desire and receive it times two. I can’t wait to see what the future has in stores and all the great journeys we are about to embark on, the memories we’re going to make, and the dreams we will make come true. This year has been amazing in so many ways and I can’t imagine how much better it can get. But I have a strong feeling that this part of the journey is only getting started.

You’re my person. It happened very slow but also quick at the same time. Two strangers that soon become more than that. From day one this all felt different. Familiar but different. I tried to shut you out but a slow persistence came from you. You actually were different. A difference I’ve never met. A genuine being. That is who you are. They say when you know you know. And it surely didn’t take us long to figure out that together is where we want to be forever. I prayed for you. I prayed when the time was just right you’d come. It didn’t take long for the two souls that once knew each other in a different life to become one again. For the rib that was once yours to remember it’s home. As we always say, I choose you and I choose to be here. To think a year or even four months from now we’ll be in a different place and an even better part of life. Our endgame, our proposal, the burning of the boats is what I see most clear. It’s as clear as the sky. That’s if we make it through the year without surprising them. You are a blessing sent from above and I’m thankful for you everyday. You are everything I dreamed of and more. I love you always.

Fell in love with the most amazing man.