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There are those who think that BDSM is an excuse for a Dominant sadist to get extreme sexual gratification by inflicting humiliation, pain and even injury on some helpless Submissive masochist who is also supposed to get extreme sexual gratification from suffering this treatment. There are elements of truth in this, but there is much more to it than that, as all proper BDSM scenes are carefully planned, sane, safe and fully consensual, with an “escape lane” (safe word or signal) whereby either party can stop the scene if they find it is becoming too much. It is not much of a surprise that some can get pleasure from inflicting discomfort on others, less easy to understand for most is the idea that some can get sexual gratification from having pain etc. inflicted on them, but it is so, and indeed done correctly pain and sexual pleasure can merge and become indistinguishable, but it takes skill to get to this point. There is power play and trust between the participants.
Chloë’s guide above is a useful introduction to some of the basic points, and she has some additional links at the bottom. Before trying any of this you should do much more research and receive guidance / tuition from those already experienced in this lifestyle. Best to join an organisation such as FetLife. This is, or was, the top BDSM / Fetish Forum but I have seen reports that for a time at least it was “New Members by Invitation Only”, not very helpful if you do not know anyone to get an invitation from! HERE and HERE. Not sure what the current situation is. A couple of others HERE and HERE.
(Remember that anything you do as a result of seeing it on one of my blogs, you do entirely at your own risk. Always do good research, and get professional advice.)
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