some tweak will speak and make me a freak

How's the mask look? Input please and the damn thing blows insane clouds

Hands free mask more to come on the upgraded version #blowncloudsnot cover

SPOKEN WORDS OF A TRUE FATHER IN THIS EMAIL ARE NOT CONSIDERED FACT OR FICTION THATS TO BE DETERMINED BY READER WHICH CAN THEN BASE FACT FROM FICTION IN THERE OWN OPINION AND/OR KNOWLEDGE OF SAID PARTY INVOLVED THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO HARM CAUSE HURT PAIN OR ANGER JUST THE PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND OPINION OF A SEASONED FATHER WHO EARNED THE TITLE AND WAS SCORNED FROWNED UPON AND VERBALLY ABUSED DURING THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF EARNING HIS TITLE AS (FATHER) ONLY TO PREVAIL AND SHOW THE WORLD THAT HE ENDURED THE WORST OF THE WORST HUMANS TO WALK THE PLANET THAT A TRIED AND TRUE FATHER IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH ONLY TO BE TOLD BY THESE SO CALLED HUMANS!!! ....WHOM OF WHICH WALK AROUND AS LOST SOULS WITH NO HEART ONLY LIVING AND BREATHING FOR ONE COMBINED GOAL TO MAKE OTHERS AS MISERABLE AS THEY ARE....THAT THEY COULD ONLY WISH HE WAS A WORSE FATHER SO HED JUST LEAVE THIER FAMILY ALONE TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER HAHA WELL GUESS WHAT IM HERE TO STAY.. THERES NO SPECIE ALIVE THAT WOULD EVER WISH FOR THERE KID (BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER IN MY CASE) TO GO WITHOUT KNOWING THERE REAL DADDY AND THE INE WHO STAYED UP FOR SICK NIGHTS AND CHANGED POOPY DIAPERS WITH NO HESITATION WHO TOOK A NIGHT JOB AT A GAS STATION PUTTING HIS DREAMS FUTURE AND CAREER ON HOLD ONLY TO PROVIDE THE BEST HE CAN SO MOMMY COULD GO TO SCHOOL FOR BEAUTY AND SUCCEED FIRST PUTTING HIS HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS ON THE LINE FOR HIS BABY AND HIS SO CALLED INFINTY3069 ONLY TO BE LEFT AT WORK WITH NO RIDE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. TO SKIP DAYS OF SLEEP AND SPEND TIME WITH NOT JUST HIS DAUGHTER BUT NIECE... SO MOMMY CAN GO STUDY AND DO HOMEWORK TO SUCCEED AND BE ON TOP AS A FAMILY ONLY TO FIND THAT ALL THE TIME AND EFFORT WAS SO MOMMY COULD WALK IN THE FRONT DOOR OF SCHOOL AND OUT THE BACK WITH ANOTHER MAN WHOSE SUPPOSE TO BE SOME HELL OF A GUY AS DADDY DROVE OFF WITH DAUGHTER HAVING NOT SLEPT AND WORKED 10 HRS KNOWING WORK WILL BE UP AGAIN SHORTLY SO HURRY TO PLAN A QUICK SHOWER AFTER FEEDING KIDDOS AND MAYBE GET IN A CIGARETTE BEFORE THE NEXT WIMPER OF A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL AWAKENING FROM PEACEFUL DREAMS ONLY TO NEVER BE CONSIDERED OR THIUGHT OF AS A GOOD GUY BECAUSE OF A TROUBLED PAST AND BEING SEEN AS A POS MONSTER WHO COULD NEVER DO RIGHT IN MOMMYS EYES LET ALONE NOT EVER ABLE TO BE CONSIDERED A SUPERMAN AS OF WHICH THAT TITLE HAD BEEN GIVEN TO AT THE TIME A COMPLETE STRANGER NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THE MAN THAT GREW UP AND BECAME A REAL MAN (REAL MAN) NOT JUST AT THE SIGHT OF WATCHING HIS DARLING GIRL BE BORN OR DELIVERING THE PLACENTA OR EVEN CUTTING THE LINK BETWEEN THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT GIRLS THAT WILL EVER LIVE... BUT BEING LOST SCARED AND CONFUSE ONLY TO LOOK UP AND GET LOST INTO THE EYES OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, STRONGEST HEARTED NEW MOMMY WHO AT THE TIME NOT KNOWING GAVE ME THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO KNOW ILL BE OKAY AND THIS IS HOW ITS SUPPOSE TO BE BUT WHO ENDURED THE PAIN OF GIVING BIRTH FOR THE PLEASURE OF BRINGING TWO AMAZING FAMILIES TOGETHER... LOOK THIS IS JUST THE PAIN OF A FATHER WHO EVERYDAY MISSES THOSE EYES THAT SHOWED HIM SUCH STRENGTH AND LOVE BUT THAT LITTLE ANGEL THAT TAUGHT DADDY TO GROW AND BE THE AMAZING PERSON HE IS TODAY HE IS ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR BOTH PARTY'S INVOLVED BUT IS HURT BY THE CHOICE OF WHO IS CALLED DADDY, DAD AND FATHER IN HER DAILY LIFE NOT BECAUSE REAL DADDY IS BITTER MAD OR JEALOUS BUT ONLY FOR THE FACT THAT STEPDADDY DOESN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT HAVING A CHILD FROM DAY ONE AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A TITLE OF SHAME, DISHONOR, AND DOWN RIGHT IGNORANCE KNOWING HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL OF HIS OWN AND KNOWING THE FATHER THAT LOVES THE CHILD HE IS RAISING STRUGGLES DAY IN AND DAY OUT NOT JUST TO BE AS GOOD AS CAN BE WITH THE DISTANCE INVOLVED AND MOMMY HAVING HER PERSONAL ISSUES WITH HIM AND DADDY FEELING AS IF HES WORTHLESS BECAUSE OF THE TWO INVOLVED BUT KNOWING HE FELT AND SEEN THE DAY HIS LIFE WAS BORN AND THAT IN ITSELF IS MORE ACCOMPLISHMENT THEN MOST MEN CAN SAY SO DADDYS HAPPY AND HUMBLE BUT FEELING SORRY FOR A MAN A SECOND BEST STEPDADDY WILL NEVER IN HIS LIFETIME FEEL, SEE TOUCH NOR EVEN BE ABLE TO DESCRIBE OR FEEL THE FEELINGS INVOLVED OF WATCHING HIS LIFE BE BORN AND PARTICIPATING IN THE MOST AMAZING AND THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF HUMANS ABILITIES... BUT BEING OKAY ACTUALLY CONTENT TO SETTLE WITH BEING A SECOND HAND STEP DAD TO A REAL DADDYS CHILD THAT IS FORCED OUT CONSTANTLY AT THE HAND OF MOMMY TO MAINTAIN HER SUB CONSCIOUS LIES AND MISCONCEPTIONS OF TRUE LIFE AND REAL WORLD FOR HER OWN SELFISH REASONS WHILE STEPDADS LEAVING A CHILD BEHIND THAT HE HELPED CREATE AND IS LEAVING ALL ALONE IN THIS CRAZY COLD HEARTED WORLD JUST TO FULFILL THE LIFE OF A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAS A DADDY IN THE BACKGROUND WAITING FOR THE DAY MOMMY AND STEPDADDY ARE CONFRONTED BY TRUE LIFE AND SEE THE REALITY, THE BIG PICTURE AND THE WHOLE TRUTH... NOT JUST THE LIES, FOG AND COMPLETELY FAJE WORLD THEY'VE CREATED TO JUST GET BY AND FEEL OKAY WITH THE HURT PAIN AND SUFFERING THEY CAUSED AND CONTINUE TO CAUSE NOT ONLY TO THE PARENTS BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY TO EVERY CHILD IN THE ALVORD FAMILY BECAUSE ALL THATS HAPPENED HAS CAUSED PAIN WITHIN COUSINS, BROTHERS, SISTERS, AND PARENTS WHO HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHOSE DAD JORDAN REALLY IS AT NOT JUST SLEEPOVERS BUT HOLIDAYS GATHERINGS AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN KIDS WHO ARENT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO COMPREHEND AND FIGHT CONSTANTLY TO CALL HIM THERE DAD...BUT THEN THERES THE EXCEPTION OF 1 LITTLE GIRL WHO RESERVES ALL RIGHTS OF CALLING THIS MAN DAD AND BY THE TIME SHE IS BIG ENOUGH TO DO SO SHE WONT WANT TO BECAUSE SHE DIDNT GET THE CHANCE TO SEE HIM LET ALONE KNOW HES THE CREATOR OF SUCH A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN AND WILL BRUSH HIM OFF AS A STRANGER IN THE MIDST OF THE WORLD WHILE HEARING STORYS OF HIM FROM THE CHILDREN THAT NOT ONLY HAVE DADS BUT ALSO GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO CALL HER GOD GIVEN FATHER THERE OWN HOW SAD THAT DAY WILL BE TO SEE THE PAIN IN HER EYES THAT HER DADDY WANTED EVERYONE ELSES KIDS AS HIS OWN FOR AT LEAST A MOMENT IN TIME BUT NOT EVEN CONSIDERING HER FOR 3 SECONDS AND MOVING ON ILL STOP WHILE AHEAD AGAIN THIS IS SIMPLY A DADDY ON FATHERS DAY SITTING BACK WATCHING THESE KIDS BE HURT OVER AND OVER AT THE HANDS OF GROWN ADULTS WHO ONLY CONSIDER THEMSELVES BUT NOT THINKING OF PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE HARM THAT THIS IS CAUSING AND THE PAIN TO BE CAUSED AHEAD THANKS FOR HEARING THE HEART OF A BROKEN MAN AT A LOSS ON HOW TO MAKE THE ADULTS INVOLVED REALISE WHAT HE IS SEEING AND HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO HAVE THE KIDS IN ENTIRE FAMILY ULTIMATELY DESTROYED BY ONE MAN WHOM IS NOW IN MY DAUGHTERS EVERYDAY LIFE LINGERING IN A FAMILY POOL OF PAIN AND LEAVING A CHILD OF HIS OWN IN THE CENTER FLOATING AROUND LOST SCARED AND LONELY WHILE HER DADDY SITS ON THE SIDE IN THE SHADE OF HAPPINESS AND GIVE NO FUCKS WHILE SIPPING AN UMBRELLA DRINK LAUGHING WITH A WOMAN WHO SHOULD SEE AND ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAS BEEN SAID CONSIDERING THIS WOMAN (ADDYS MOMMA) IS THE ONE WHO BEGGED AND PLEADED HER DAUGHTERS DADDY NEVER ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO HER PRECIOUS ADDY AND TO NEVER LET THE OTHER WOMAN TAKE OVER HER ROLL AS MOMMY OR EVEN CONSIDER ADDY HAVING A STEP MOM... WELM DADDY RESPECTED THOSE WISHES KNOWING HE WOULD HURT IF THAT HAPPENED TO HIM AND NEVER LET ANOTHER WOMAN EVEN PRETEND TO PLAY MOM ALL THE WHILE ADDYS MOMMY BROKE AND DISRESPECTED EVERYTHING SHE ASKED TO NOT HAPPEN AND IS BREAKING REAL DADDY DOWN, AND HURTING HIM EVERYDAY IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY WHILE FANNING OFF STEP DAD ON THE SIDE OF THAT POOL FULL OF PAIN AND KIDS WHO DONT DESERVE WHATS BEEN HANDED OUT UP TO THIS POINT... Please call me or at least provide me with a number to reach Addison her daddy would love to hear her voice. I need to know when addisons ready so I can spend fathers day with her so feel free to call me ill answer restricted numbers for today so please just lemme know and I'll head up btw thanks for hanging up on me Friday then I hear nothing from you at all pretty messed up mika not to add you telling everyone the deepest darkest shit I've ever been through was very very low of you and just reminded me that your more about you and causing problems for the people who feel they can finally trust you'll keep you lips closed and prove them wrong I should have known better but for some fucked up pos reason I couldn't tell anyone else and you would for once in your life understand that I was in such deep pain and and under so much stress and depression but your the only one I wanted to open up too once again and it only backfired so guess the jokes on me for being suck an idiot believing you'd actually 1. Keep your mouth shut 2. Understand at least part of the pain considering your were raped multiple times 3. See that Ive done nothing but confide In you recently and spill my guts over and over again 4. Accept that I've become more honest and open and respect me for giving you what you've wanted the whole 9 year waste of my life which is the TRUTH so I told you when you were asking me if we could be back together that I would love nothing more then to have you and baby back in my life and we would be amazing but at this moment I couldn't give you all you desired which is next to impossible anyways considering NOTHING will ever be what you want cause you don't have a clue what you want at all you just pretend to so you dont look lost irresponsible or plain out confused. And don't try to deny that your entire life values and self worth/respect has been based or generalized on other people thoughts about you and what they think of you never has it been what you need want or look like but the fake mirror image of someone you created to please your peers cause your afraid they won't like the real Mika and you know what I mean cause you (MIKA CLARK C) don't even like YOU!!!! Your with your husband for all the wrong reasons and the day you questioned if its him or me and I told you him cause it would be irresponsible for me to bring you back while I dealt with my issues is the day you should have let us both go your only with him to prove a point to your inner psychopathic ways and to show everyone Whitney couldn't win when in all reality she already had won assuming he stepped up she'd have him for 18 years but no he has to givve up on kin so he can be able to focus on you and Addison which btw will continue to eat you alive until the day you close your eyes for good just be honest with yourself already you know your not happy and you and everyone who knows can see it in your eyes... But this being said I really hope your happy with yourself I could have lied to you and brought you back into my life destroyed your oh so perfect family and marriage then decide oh well I dont want this I forgot how miserable it is to be a part of Mika I don't get a life I live the way she wants not having anytime to indulge in what I like cause my heads planted up the juicy ass but no I took the liberty to finally say hey mika I love you so dearly and you always cross my mind but now is not the time you would need to do your divorce and while that I need to figure my life out... I was HONEST for once and you couldn't handle the truth now you know why your always so drowned in lies is because you can't handle the truth of you could then wed be having a sleep over right now me holding you ever so close you smiling knowing that I was honest with you and moving on happily ever after like you always wanted so badly but instead now you change your number to hide yourself from the world and reality in an attempt to hide and try to enjoy your supposed marriage in which you have lied to your sub conscious so much about this doomed marriage for your own selfish ways that you firmly believe your happy and every once in a while the true mika will surface and say holy fuck what am I doing? That's when I get a call or a visit saying how you truely feel only to not have me tell you what you wanna hear and slipping back into your routine that you've built your entire life but its all good me hating you for telling everyone only the biggest secret I could have ever told to anyone outside the family and confiding in someone who I know all about knowing that you for once in your miserable life may just understand I'm in the worst pain anyone could be in and seeing me in the hospital all the kind words and bullshit you told me wasn't anything you meant or cared about it wasnt just words to make me happy or feel better  but an excuse to get involved only for the pleasure of seeing me in a dark place and suffering for your own twisted mind to be able to witness first hand the lowest point of a man's life you once loved and cared about just to confirm he was suffering and you wouldn't miss it for the world cause it's all you ever wanted well you got that satisfaction and even carried it a little further til you could finally find an excuse to change your number so it didn't look as if you were being an evil low blowing POS but then placing the blame on me for why you were changing your number that's just lower then Low but by now you've made yourself once again believe that it wasn't that way that your intentions were pure but honey they weren't at all pure and now you hate me AGAIN cause you think that I did all this to you lol god I hate when I'm right so on that note I'll ttys I'd tell your husband happy fathers day but the definition of today (IN MY OPINION)  being a father to either A. Your biological kids or B. Being a stepfather to a child that isn't your blood (whom of which stepfather also acknowledges that he's a real father to blood child/child's) this would be considered a day for him BUT!!!!! WHAT IF.... said stepfather plays dad to another man's blood child forgetting or not caring at all that he had his own seed and blood walking playing and learning to grow. Not even concerned or caring that he missed the most joyful the most important fun parts of being a DADDY the time of a childs and parents life to earn the title of father or mother (just cause you had a child doesn't make you a father that title is earned) but to run away from the part that matters most to all involved including the child to skip ahead a few years and take over for another man who is not just supporting but pleading to be let in on a daily basis knowing he has faults and makes mistakes and admits he has been horrible so he can learn and move on but also be more to his baby girl if given the opportunity from a very selfish woman who causes pain at any possible moment no knowing she is simply because she has so much pain she's been blinded by the hardships of life and feels she should return the favor in the hopes of passing the pain to everyone around hoping and praying they hurt just as bad so she can feel satisfaction instead of fixing her pain that's been handed down to her and moving on as the beautiful, young, successful woman she truely is but in life some humans just don't want change and become so accustomed to the pain that it's all they know it becomes a drug and without it they hurt worse then they do with it... Thanks for hearing a broken daddy's thoughts and I wish ALL OF YOU REAL FATHERS OUT THERE A VERY TRUE AND HAPPY FATHERS DAY WITH THAT LITTLE (WALKING LIFE YOU'VE CREATED) AND I WISH YOU THE BEST.... TO ALL THE RENT A DADS AND DISRESPECTFUL WANNABES OUT THERE RAISING ANOTHER CHILD AND LEAVING THE ONE YOU CREATED YOUR OWN BLOOD BEHIND WELL THERES NOT A DAY FOR YOU SO DONT GET ALL EXCITED TO BE TOLD HAPPY FATHERS DAY TAKE A MOMENT TO SIT BACK AND PONDER ON THE LITTLE ONE YOU LEFT BEHIND KNOWING YOU MISSED ALL THE BEST PARTS OF BEING A DADDY TO JUMP AHEAD TO PLAY PRETEND A DAD TAKING OVER WHEN ITS EASY AND NOT KNOWING THE FIRST THING OF HARDSHIPS, JOY, LOVE, GRATEFULNESS, PROUDNESS, TRUE LOVE AND EXPERIENCING THE TRUEST FORM OF LIFE AS A DADDY NOT JUST HITTING FAST FORWARD TO THE (EASIER) PART OF PARENTING AND CALLING YOURSELF A FATHER. LAST BUT FAR FROM LEAST TO ALL THE STEPFATHERS OUT THERE RAISING ANOTHER MANS CHILD WITHOUT EVEN HAVING YOUR OWN I HAVE THE UP MOST RESPECT FOR YOU AND TODAY IS YOUR DAY THIS ONE ESPECIALLY GOES OUT TO THE MAN WHO RAISED ME AS HIS OWN AND NEVER LET ME DOWN WHO CAME IN WHEN I WAS THREE HE FED CHANGED AND EDUCATED ME FOR THE LAST 24 YEARS AND TAUGHT ME TO BE A STRONG HUMBLE HARD WORKING AND SUCCESSFUL MAN BUT ALL IN ALL GUIDED ME FROM DAY 1 ON HOW TO BE A FATHER AND LOVER TO MY FAMILY WHICH I CREATED FOR THAT I CAN NEVER REPAY BUT I THANK YOU EVERYDAY THANKS DAD YOUR VERY LOVED