The Evil Adventures of TurtleBatPig

@turtlebatpig-blog

Join me, Baron Ludwig von Schnorflehausen, on my evil adventures around the world - starting with a 2-month tour of Europe with my decidedly odd parents. One of them is Venezuelan. The other one thinks she’s a unicorn. As an evil overlord in training, I’ll be keeping my eye on #globaldomination throughout our travels. I’ll most likely be wearing a bow-tie. (If only they made monocles for dogs!)

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I don't approve of this "vacation," mom. When do you come back? I have no humans to complain to. 😠😒 #whyaminotonvacationtoo #thisisbullshit #TurtleBatPig

#turtlebatpig #whyaminotonvacationtoo #thisisbullshit

•18+ Adults Only

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'Cause we classy European nuggets, natch. 😎🏙🌹 #TurtleBatPig #SquishyBish #EuropeanBetches #SoClassy #MoetChandon #Frenchies #youwishyouwereus

#europeanbetches #squishybish #moetchandon #youwishyouwereus #soclassy #frenchies #turtlebatpig

#TBT to when #SquishyBish was even stumpier. 😳😍 #nugget #mini #datbelleh #teenypaws #littleboss #laSQUEESH

#mini #teenypaws #nugget #squishybish #tbt #littleboss #datbelleh #lasqueesh

#TBT to when I learned pigs actually can fly. 😳🐷✨ #TurtleBatPig #nugget #imflying #believe

#nugget #turtlebatpig #believe #tbt #imflying

#TBT to when I had a serious sit down with the human minions to inform them, in no uncertain terms, that their rowdy "going to work for many long hours" behavior and "no more treats for you" attitude would no longer be tolerated. 😑😤 #allthetreats #gimme #seriouspaws #minions #humansareuseless #TurtleBatPig #eviloverlord #hampants #frenchbulldog

#seriouspaws #humansareuseless #tbt #eviloverlord #allthetreats #gimme #hampants #turtlebatpig #frenchbulldog #minions

•18+ Adults Only

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Fig 1: Normal sassy #SquishyBish face. Fig 2: #BOOTY SKRITCHES FACE AAAWWWWW YEAAAAHHHH. 😳👌🏼😍

#squishybish #booty

You did not submit the appropriate form to have this "bath" approved by your overlords. Now you're wet and can't pet me, and WHOSE FAULT IS THAT, human??? 😠 #TurtleBatPig #MinionsTheseDays #CanIGetAWitness

#canigetawitness #turtlebatpig #minionsthesedays

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She'll be here all week. 😂🎤 #SquishyBish #diva #canyousingasongforme #frenchietalk #howl #laSQUEESH

#frenchietalk #squishybish #diva #canyousingasongforme #lasqueesh #howl

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#MomSays "So I moved my bed next to the window that faces the street, and now Ludwig just sits there all day and squeaks at things. I've never seen him so entertained." 😂 #squeakyrealness #TurtleBatPig #frenchietalk (at New York, New York)

#frenchietalk #turtlebatpig #squeakyrealness #momsays

I saw you were paying attention to Ludwig, but he's really very boring and not fun at all so I'll just lay here in front of him because there's nothing to see behind me really nothing at all so pet me and love me forever and maybe paint me like one of your French girls ok? Ok. #SquishyBish #jealous #wench #siblings

#jealous #squishybish #wench #siblings

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Evil knows how to 4th. WUUUUTTTT. 🍻🇺🇸🎆 #TurtleBatPig #SquishyBish #4thofJuly #Happy4th #BeerPong #KiddiePool #werkwerkwerkwerkwerk

#beerpong #kiddiepool #squishybish #happy4th #4thofjuly #werkwerkwerkwerkwerk #turtlebatpig

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Bahahahahaha! DERP ALERT! 😂📣😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol6 #TurtleBatPig #yayayayayay

#vol6 #alert #yayayayayay #turtlebatpig #derp

IT'S A LATE-NIGHT DERP ATTACK!! 😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol6 #TurtleBatPig #manatee

#vol6 #alert #turtlebatpig #manatee #derp

IT'S A LATE-NIGHT DERP ATTACK!! 😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol5 #TurtleBatPig 👀👀 #eyeballslookingwhere #walleye #walrus

#walleye #eyeballslookingwhere #vol5 #derp #turtlebatpig #alert #walrus

IT'S A LATE-NIGHT DERP ATTACK!! 😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol4 #TurtleBatPig

#vol4 #alert #turtlebatpig #derp

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

IT'S A LATE-NIGHT DERP ATTACK!! 😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol3 #TurtleBatPig

#turtlebatpig #alert #vol3 #derp

IT'S A LATE-NIGHT DERP ATTACK!! 😜🚨😜🚨 #Derp #Alert #Vol2 #TurtleBatPig

#vol2 #alert #turtlebatpig #derp

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