Tumbling Dice Zine

I ate lunch with my friend Alexis not too long ago. She told me something about myself I can’t quite deny. She said I’d choke to death outside of a city environment, like I’d be gasping for air if I wasn’t able to navigate streets with large buildings to hang out at some oddball Japanese izakaya. I didn’t want to think of myself as so vulnerable. It’s kinda pathetic sounding, ain’t it? After all, I did spend some good years in an upstate suburban town...though those last few years were spent watching a VHS of The Warriors and live CBGB performances thinking “I wanna be part of THAT shithole!” So yeah, I’d probably be miserable if I wasn’t here. I’d probably be pulling into my house at the end of the cul de sac after a day at the office, and spend the night watching hi-res versions of The Warriors and live CBGB performances thinking “I remember when I was part of THAT shithole!” So maybe I’m not going to become a farm boy anytime soon. I don’t wanna choke, since I’m now kind of convinced I will. 

A ton of website people nowadays are being paid to write about how happy they are that they moved away from the city. In these pieces of think, the thinkers realize that they have sour grapes that city livers just don’t have. They can be adults and make the grown up choice to move to a more prosperous location away from us kids and great selection of bars. They’re lording themselves over us because they have those city sour grapes. But here’s the thing. We have those same sour grapes. I have those sour grapes. I have them whenever I realize that having a normal house around here would require me to be a millionaire. I have them whenever I think about my friend down south with TWO goddamn stories to his house, who’s probably paying the same thing I am for my 1 bedroom apartment. Most of all, I have them whenever I think about how I don’t have a yard with a barbecue smoker the size of a space ship fuselage. Because that’s what I really want for my living situation. I want a grill. I want to stay in my 1 bedroom apartment and I want to be able to easily get to Coney Island and international pub food places via subway. But on a hot night like tonight, I want to go out into a yard and just smoke some meat. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with a full sized house, but give me a yard big enough for an industrial meat smoker and neighbors who don’t mind my playing Descendents songs, and I’ll be able to hit that bliss target. Maybe those think piecers would stay in the city if they had a good grill, who knows.

Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - Killer Beach

Couch - Fuck It Shit

So...Couch!

The Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show led to a ton of terrible mudslinging and controversy, but at least it didn’t lead to any serious criminal charges. In 2005, Korean punk band Couch caught a bad one when they decided to go full frontal on a live televised music show and legit caused a national firestorm. During a performance by Korean punk giants Rux during a widely watched live music show called Music Camp, two of the three members of Couch decided to drop their pants and Do The Helicopter Dick for 5 unedited seconds. The aftermath of this hit everyone tangentially related with the grace of a lightning strike. The television show, Music Camp, was immediately cancelled. The television station that aired the 5 Seconds Of Schlongs came under increased angry scrutiny from not only the majority of the Korean public, but also the government. The two members of Couch were arrested and put through a lengthy court trial where they faced charges that, if they were found guilty, would have lead to serious jail time. Finally, this entire incident ended up giving a stiff slap to the face of the indie punk scene that was just starting to borough into the mainstream. 

It was a hell of an event that caught the eye of everyone in Korea. Couch were a simple street punk band that pogo’d in front of small rooms of hundreds at the most, and yet they shifted the course of an entire underground culture with a few seconds of hooligan silliness. I find it hard to be mad at them, since it’s pretty apparent that they were a victim of the super conservative social culture that they intentionally provoked by poking it with their dicks on live TV.

Ging Nang Boyz – BABY BABY

I feel a kinetic awakening whenever I listen to Ging Nang Boyz. A direct continuation of a band called GOING STEADY, they are a loud explosion of the ultimate sadboy teenager experience. Overpowering distorted guitars with vocals that seem like angry screaming, but don’t be fooled. The purpose of Ging Nang Boyz existing is to portray the love addled brain in its rawest form. Every joyous, depressed, excited and sex-obsessed square inch of it. They squeeze their sound into the disguise of a sweet sounding love pop song for BABY BABY, and perfectly encapsulate the sound of an adoring heart.

 Rebecca – Love Is Cash

Brooklyn Eats Delicious Digest #1: Ganso

This might be a tad of a “hot take” to food experts who eat, breathe and dream culinary expertise, but the heartbeat of a good bowl of ramen is the broth. Ramen that’s worth a damn has broth that’s painstakingly crafted and brings out the best in one of the four main flavor styles. The broth at Ganso is shoyu, or soy sauce, flavor based. This is typically the most well-rounded types of broth, as it takes some attributes from all of the other flavors without any real domination. Not too salty, not too dark, a little bit sweet and absorbing the flavor of the strongest ingredient in sort of a culinary survival of the fittest (in Ganso’s case, the bonito flakes). If you love pork, please take notice of the GIGANTIC fatty pork hunks.

Start of an ongoing series where I bring you some of my favorite songs coming out of Asia, past and present. If you’re like me, some of the greatest thrills you can get in your everyday life is to discover a new band or artist who’s sound unequivocally SPEAKS to you like nothing else. I find that Magelling around foreign music scenes, punk and otherwise, is an incredibly enthralling and rewarding experience. With this, I hoping to share this feeling with all of you.

The Stalin - Romanticist 

The most popular song from the first name in Japanese punk. It’s a paintball of napalm that attacks empty romanticizing, “isms”, and even two faced “anarchists” who just use the punk scene to be a self serving asshole. Despite intentionally trying to be Japan’s villains, The Stalin are nearly universally loved. Start with this.

Best lyric:  “ Hakike gasuruhodo!! Romanchikku daze!! (Makes me puke!! So goddamn romantic!!)

Jitterin’ Jinn - Present

How to describe Jitterin’ Jinn besides “bouncy happy fun”? Some places I read describe them as ska, but despite them utilizing that upbeat ska guitar riff, that doesn’t quite completely cover the circumference of this superball. The big Gibson guitars with the clean echo more skew them towards being rockabilly giants (not to mention the wonderful rockabilly hairstyles residing on each of the band member’s heads). Jitterin’ Jinn songs barrel along like high velocity chanted mantras, and Present is no different. Whether you speak Japanese or not, the repeated line of “Anata ga watashi nikuretamono…” (What you gave to me…) will be rattling around in your head like you heard it from a cult leader.   

Going record shopping tomorrow, and I'm gonna flip if I find a goddamn Dilated Peoples disc.