“Being with you never felt wrong. It’s the one thing I did right. You’re the one thing I did right.”

What a beautiful feeling is when someone tells you I wish I knew you earlier

fuck i’m so in love with you you can’t even imagine

I want to be able to tell my friends that I’m happy. I want to be able to look them in the eyes and tell them honestly that I’m not hurting inside. That I don’t sometimes consider what it might be like if I were to just end it all right there. That I don’t hate myself so fucking much. I want to be able to tell them about my past, and about my fears, and about what I love, and what I hate, and what makes me feel like it’s actually worth it to wake up in the morning. I want to be able to hug my friends without worrying that they’ll hate me for it, or that they’ll think I’m weird or clingy or annoying. I want to be able to actually just be my fucking self around my friends. But I can’t. Because I’m not happy. And I am hurting inside. And this goddamn pain in my chest only gets more and more violent with each minute of silence. This fucking throb in my head only gets worse and worse with each pill that I swallow. God, I want to be able to tell them that I’m happy. Or hell, I’d settle with actually being able to tell them why I’m not happy. But instead, I say “I’m fine” and I just leave myself to wish that I could actually be as open and as trusting and as comfortable as I want to be. Because God, I just want to be honest with them. I just want to feel like I can actually be my own goddamn self around the people I love. I just want to stop trying to be who I’m not.

I hope you find what you’re looking for in 2017