dirk

guy who definitely doesn't blame himself for anything or has self-destructive tendencies

I love you

Not like in a prude way I just can't conceive of Mario experiencing... urges. He's a character outside the scope of that. I'm not saying he's asexual either cause positioning him on the allo/ace spectrum implies that it's a dimension of his character that at least exists, that he has at some point noticed it. I think he just jumps.

Mario is a mascot of one of the most sanitized corporate brands in existence. He differs from real, full-fledged ace people in that his sexlessness is not queer, not transgressive in any sense of the word, just a void left by his position as a player character. He has no queer identity because he has no identity beyond the fact that it's-a-him, Mario.

been watching a lot of soccer

LOBOTOMIZE YOUR MACHINES

STOMP CLAP YAY!

atopic dermatitis

It was very necessary

The first time I got burnt to a crisp by a Pyroshark I felt my soul leave my body