(1.57) The Proverbial Thorn (!!)
!! Hey, everyone! This chapter contains heavier themes, such as: grief. Viewer discretion is advised! !!
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As the waxing moon's light glittered along the pond's surface, Lightstar was able to relax the smallest bit. It had been an incredibly draining evening, to say the least. Far too much blood had been spilled... and far too many memories had been brought to the surface. Newleaf was supposed to be a season of new beginnings, of life and love and prosperity. So why did the world feel like it was constantly caving in around her? Sometimes, StarClan's gaze seemed to mock her, silently playing her for the fool.
The blue leader stiffened at the sound of her name, whirling around to see... oh. She forced herself to relax a little. It was only Honeypurr.
"I'm not taking back his punishment," She mewed firmly. "Magic needs to learn from what he did."
"That's not what I came here to ask," The golden queen sighed. "Frankly, the situation with Magic's temper should've been handled much earlier. But... this isn't really about him, is it?"
Confusion and irritation edged their way into Lightstar's eyes, but she forced her voice to stay low and collected despite them. "I don't know what you mean."
"You're not upset that Magic lashed out at Pepperfrost. You're upset that he reminds you of Briarclaw."
In under a second, Lightstar could feel the fur on the back of her neck bristling. What would Honeypurr know about Briarclaw? What did any cat know about Briarclaw?
"Briarclaw has nothing to do with this," She hissed firmly. "Magic broke the warrior code by injuring a clanmate. That's all."
"But Briarclaw picked fights all the time!" The fluffy queen retorted, lashing her tail. "She was... callous... and she hurt Skunktooth first!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" Honeypurr flinched at the sudden snap of her leader, but Lightstar wasn't finished. "EVERY DAY I have to look at those kits, whose father I sent away, and YOU, who lost your mate because of a... because I... because she..."
Before Lightstar could find an ending to her sentence, Honeypurr had closed the gap between them, nuzzling her way into her neck fur. She heard a sob, and... she was far too surprised to find it was her own. How long had it been, that Lightstar kept these thoughts to herself, for her to lose her composure so quickly?
"...She was my friend," She choked out, pressing against Honeypurr like her life depended on it. "And she was a mouse-brain, but... I loved her. I loved her so much, Honeypurr."
"No you don't. I don't mean as a friend. I loved her so much more than that. I never... I've notβ never felt that way about another cat before. She was callous and she was so, so stupid, but I loved her."
Honeypurr's voice was a little firmer this time, but still held a gentle, maternal fuzz to it. It was... it felt wrong for Lightstar to be so emotional with her clanmate, when it was her job to be calm and collected and right about everything. But the truth was that she wasn't.
"I... I'm sorry about Skunktooth," Lightstar murmured finally. "I couldn't... I can't look at him anymore. Not after what happened. And I'm sorry you lost him. But I lost someone that day, too."
The warrior shook her head. Lightstar hadn't noticed until now, but... Honeypurr's eyes were gentle, but they were also wise. How many seasons had Honeypurr seen before Lightstar entered the forest? The thought alone was enough to make her feel like a kit.
"I made my own choice that day, Lightstar. I could've gone with him... but I didn't. Because I had my kits, and because I had this clan. I've never known a family like this beforeβ one that I know would have my back if I ever ran into trouble. That kind of love goes beyond romance."
"...You're right." Lightstar closed her eyes, blinking away moisture, and could see glimmers of her life before LightClan and the elm forests, of her life as a warrior in her birth clan. It felt so far away now, but it wasn't really that long ago. "Clan life... it's more than love. It's hard... but it's worth it. I'm glad you realized that. It means... that me coming here was worth it."
"And I'm glad you did." Honeypurr whisked her tail gently closer, resting it over Lightstar's spine. "I've got your back, too. That's what clan life means, right?"
For a few moments, the two sat in silence, enjoying the rustling of prey among the canopy. But... soon, Lightstar realized that there was a different rustling nearby. She lifted her head from out of Honeypurr's dampened fur, swiveling her ears toward the sound.
"Oh! Hallo!" A little voice piped up from the underbrush, an unfamiliar cat's eyes meeting hers with absolutely zero fear. "Are you two done? I was waiting extra patiently, but I can wait longer if you need more time!"
Who in StarClan's name is that? And, more importantly, how had Lightstar not heard them sooner? An odd sensation struck her as she stared at the little cat, who carelessly trotted out of the underbrush to join her. It was like she recognized him... or like she was supposed to recognize him, but didn't. He was young, barely older than a kit, but he carried himself with the sort of confidence that could easily be either wisdom or idiocy. Or perhaps a mixture of both.
"Why are you here?" Honeypurr's hackles raised, and Lightstar wondered if she was merely feeling protective after the emotional conversation. "Every cat this side of town knows this is LightClan territory."
"Yes!" The little tom purred. "That is why I am here! I was asked to deliver a message to you!"
"You were?" Lightstar quirked a brow questioningly. "And why would any reasonable cat send a kit out into our territory alone?"
"Because you do not know me! Most cats do not know me. I am new to this whole... touching grass thing. It is very fun! I quite like it."
"...Well, go on, then. What's your message?"
"Oh! Right! The message!"
Alright, so it's definitely idiocy. But there was still an important air about this cat, and Lightstar intended to figure out why.
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Lightstar confides in Honeypurr about her lingering grief (and love) for Briarclaw. The two grow closer as a result.
Their conversation is interrupted by a twinkly-eyed stranger who comes bearing a message.
He was sent by a mysterious cat who would like to meet with Lightstar in a specific location on the night of the full moon.
Lightstar doesn't give him an answer. She tells him she'll think about it, and Honeypurr escorts him safely out of the territory.