Trust Your Journey

I just want to be normal again

To be able to live my life

Thinking about nothing

Just plain living

Not this kind of life

Constantly thinking

Of what you're up to

Or what you're doing

I can't stand it

Not speaking to you

It gets me so anxious

I can't even focus at work

I just want to be normal again

To live life only caring

Of what I'm going to do next

But I guess I'm changed

Can't seem to get out of

Constantly thinking

Dear Friend,

I've gotten myself into a very deep hole. I've been okay for the past year but I guess I'm back. This is really bad. I think I'm deeper than I've ever been. I did this to myself. There's no one to blame but me. Should I just let it take over me. I give up. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this pit. I really don't.

Love Always,

Dear Friend,

I am currently in a food park. I have just finished eating my Takoyakis and finished drinking two glasses of Draft Beers. I've gotten a little tipsy and my mind is trying to comprehend a lot of things. I guess it's because of the alcohol. I'm sitting here and looking at people, observing what their life might be like. I see these two guys eating something I can't identify since I'm sitting far from them. This one guy with red hair and a black jacket and is obviously boyfriends with the other guy with black hair wearing a purple sweatshirt. The purple sweatshirt guy just casually feeding him spoon fulls of whatever they are eating and the other guy patting him in the head in delight. I just thought it's so nice to have a partner like that. Who is not ashamed to do things with you. They look happy and they look like they get along so well. I just wanted to appreciate these kinds of things that I don't get to experience. They threw their left overs and walked away smiling. Probably going home and going to bed together, just happy to end the day together. I just thought its a nice story to tell you. Just a simple day spending time with someone you care about.

Love Always,

Dear Friend,

I think I'm back to where I was again. The gaping hole in my chest is back. I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper in this bottomless pit. Just when I thought I was okay, here it is again. It really does never leaves. I just wish I don't have to feel like this anymore.

Love Always,

Dear Friend,

I think I'm getting bad again. I'm here on my bed. Now alone after my partner left me to work in another country. We're still together, but now we're on this thing called LDR - Long Distance Relationship. I'm close to breaking down but there's nothing I could do but to be strong for myself. I just want to talk to someone but I can't because I'm all alone in this room, wishing I have someone to hold on to and just talk about anything. I just feel so so bad.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

It's 1:37am and I can't sleep. I was just thinking about you, wondering if I still cross your mind. I just wanted to say sorry because after all this time, every time I remember, I feel sad and angry about the bad things you did to me. My heart is quick to forgive though. In a blink, I just throw it all away and I feel better again. It helps to think about all the good things instead of the bad things. Like the time when we're walking on this field in the city under the moonlight. We sat down, talked, and it just felt the right warmth just to be with you. Nothing else matters, just you and me. I wish you're doing okay, that you're happy wherever you are, and please know that I miss you a lot.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

A big change is going to happen again in my life. My partner, Joseph, is going to study abroad. He is going to study in Japan and then work there once he graduated. While I, on the other hand, will be left here in the Philippines.

I don't know what I should do, but I do know what I should be. I should be a supportive partner to him. This is his dream, and I should be the first one to support him in this. All I want for him is to be happy, even though we're going to be thousand of miles apart.

I don't know what will happen with our relationship but I should believe that everything will be okay. I should believe in what we have and that everything will work out fine. I'm sure of it.

Currently, we're living together in a condominium unit. Once he leaves, I'm going to move out too because I will not be able to pay for the unit by myself. It's like starting over again and living by myself again. I don't know what will happen to me, but I am a survivor. I know I can do it.

Anyway, you're there, my friend. If I'm drowning again with my thoughts, I know you're there to give me air and help me hold on to things that matter.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

It's times like this that I wish I could talk to you. Your voice soothes me unlike any other person could ever do.

I just feel so awful. I feel low.

You always make me feel better, I miss that, but we'll never be the same again.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

I'm sorry for having my weak episodes again. I hope I did not step over the line. I guess I've been assuming things again and day dreaming about past memories. I know it will never be the same again but atleast we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I just wanted to say that, even though I’m not with you anymore at least we are under the same sky, just look at it whenever you miss me. I'll do too.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

I just feel so lost and so low. I don't know what to do. I just want to get out of here, and just start a new life far away from everybody. I'm jealous of you. I'm jealous of what you have become. Of what you have achieved in life. Of where you are now. I just feel like I'm not moving, like I'm stuck here in this place. I just want to get out.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

Are you here?

I have something to tell you.

I'm sorry, for the bad things that happened. It's my fault.

I will try... to continue living without feeling any guilt, but if that means I have to forget you, I don't want to do it, because you are my good memory, the only memory that I have.

Why do I have to cry for you?

I have so many things to tell you.

I'll see you soon.

Love Always,

Dear Friend,

Today is my birthday. First, I just want to thank God, the universe, for this life that I have. It's really been an amazing life so far and I just want to explore more, see more, and experience more. Thank you to all my friends who greeted me on my special day. To you, thank you for greeting me. I really appreciate it. I do, in ways that made my heart beat fast and hard. It just feels amazing to think that somehow, someone like me, still crosses your mind. If I was not able to reply. I'm sorry. I hope you understand knowing the situation we are in. Take care always. I'll just be here.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

I'm finally back in my hometown, La Union. The fresh air, the silence, and the peace that I feel whenever I'm back here is really a gift. Reconnecting with nature helps me balance my energy. It reminds me of all the memories I had in this place and it keeps me grounded. Anyway, all of these things stirred the thoughts in my head again and I just wanted to talk about the word "promise". I made a promise, and I'm sure you did too. I think we all are, at some point in our lives, made a promise with someone. I'm just wondering, why do we sometimes break these promises? Why do we sometimes hold on to one promise and then let go of the other? Does this reveal something true about ourselves? I guess it is, because we hold on to promises that are dear to us. These promises that we hold on to are beacons that leads us to which path we should take, paths that we our selves don't recognize we should take. I just wanted to say that, if you do notice these promises, keep in mind that these are signs of the things that you truly desire. Do you agree? These are my thoughts, so please don't take it as a professional advise. Anyway, I hope you're doing okay, and that you're happy wherever you are. I wish you are.

Love always,

Marlo

Dear Friend,

How do you face your inner demons? Do even care about it? Or you just live with it? Do you want to be free of it? I think you do want to be free of it because you wouldn't call it a demon if you didn't want to. Well anyway, I hope you do get rid of it so you would be a better person. Do it for your family, for your loved ones, and especially, do it for yourself, so your future self will thank you for it. As for me, I hope it gets better. If you do know a way through this, please let me know, because I do want to be better, I want to grow as a person. You of all people know a way through this because I know you have been through a lot, a lot than I have, that's why I'm asking for your help. I know, I know, I may I think that I have it bad, but there's always someone out there who have it way worse than I do. I'll always remember that. Remember to appreciate.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

Why do I feel like I'm stuck in this place. I just want to feel free. I want to be able to do the things that I want.

Do you ever feel that way too?

I just want to know that I'm not alone in this.

If you could, would you ever change things in your life that affected you in a truamatizing way? All the burden and the pain that is affecting your everyday life because of that experience will be rewritten so you wouldn't have to feel it ever again? Would you do it? Sometimes I wish I could, so that I wouldn't ever have to feel it again.

What's beautiful though, in this experience, even if we had it bad, and it changed our lives forever, wishing a good life for the people that caused us pain helps us heal. Forgiving frees us from all the pain.

Love always,

Dear Friend,

Isn't it unfair how beautiful people get what they want. Not always, but most of the time they do. They get it just by being beautiful. They get treated nicely because they are beautiful. They get promoted easily just because they look beautiful. They get all the favors because they are beautiful, and much more. Being beautiful has so many advantages in life. People tend to trust beautiful people more than the ones who are not. I guess because it's in our DNA to be like that. I'm jealous of you my friend. You tend to get all you want, and achieve your goals easily because of your beauty, as compared to those who are not. I wish I was beautiful. I'm jealous of how beautiful people become successful in life just by being beautiful.

Love always,