NEVER COMING BACK DOWN !

jasmine’s hand stops mid air at the words her eyes go from her arm to her face and back “are you sure ? don’t you want me to check it just in case? is what i do.” talking about that was making her more at ease, she was in her realm and she could quickly form thoughts about it and she wants to help out the other girl, make sure she is fine.

if she was being honest jasmine had forgotten christmas was coming it close, but she took the bait davina provided her and let out a light chuckle “yeah,” jas mumbled with a smile and started bouncing on the heel of her feet. everything had been blown to shit, the brunette had no idea anymore when the holidays were, when had all this began and how were they going to keep going forward and for someone that loved having control and assurance of everything that was a scary thought. after a while she looked back at davina, and contemplated the options, she had buried herself too deep that now she had to commit to go out of there and paint something even if she could only manage stick figures, “deep red is a bit more christmasy, isn’t it?” she said tilting her head.

she’s very aware that davina probably doesn’t believe one word she was saying, but she kept going if for anything her own sanity pretending this was all natural, all normal, all in a days work. she was glad davina didn’t chose to call her out own her obvious lie, though, offering the blonde a softer smile she turned to look at the paints, moving closer to the shelf “really, anything?” she questioned before furrowing her eyebrows, she was starting to feel more relaxed now. she had constructed this idea of davina in her mind that was slowly being blown up by the other’s words and kindness. truth was she knew davina had a bond with nico that she could never had, not in the same way, they were friends and it was easier for her to pretend davina was something else, that it wouldn’t be so easy for nico to replace jas with the other and be happier. 

jasmine realized she had been asked a question and her brain started to work on how the fuck is she going to convince the other she wasn’t here for jealousy reasons “uhm, like you said, christmas is coming up and i don’t really know where to get a tree so i thought i could paint one.” she shrugged and winced at the lame excuse she had concocted “to lift spirits and what not.” she picked up a paint and turned around to face the blonde, as something she never had thought would leave her lips started to flow out “would you like to help me?” she cursed herself out in her mind as she waited for the rejection from the other.

“it’s just a bang. i do it all the time . ..  i’m clumsy as anything. like... bambi on ice.” she laughed, shaking her head yet again. it’s not anything that requires attention, and the thought of jas touching her is a bit TOO OVERWHELMING right now. it would be easier to NOT LIKE jas. she almost wishes jas had come over to fight her, or yell at her, and be heinous. but this weird middle ground of being nice to her, and HELPFUL, is something that davina can never deny. she’s always had an inherent need to have people smile, and LIKE HER. 

the idea that events like CHRISTMAS and NEW YEARS are happening soon seems surreal. will they even still celebrate? there’s nobody else in the world, technically, so isn’t up to THEM NOW to make or break traditions? to find ways to celebrate certain days? “yeah, for sure. deep red would be perfect for you.” she agreed, pulling herself away from her thoughts. “are you a big christmas person?” talking to jas is getting easier, thankfully. it’s less awkward and unsure, and almost feels like davina is talking to ANYBODY. if davina just doesn’t think about nico, and jas with nico, then jas COULD be anybody in the world. 

at the brief lull in conversation, davina can’t help but wonder what jas is thinking about. what is really happening here, now, between the two? she nods along at jas’ response. it makes sense, drawing christmas trees, keeping things festive. it’s still surprising to davina, to hear, but she takes it in her stride. “i didn’t know you were into painting and stuff.” she says, honestly, hoping it doesn’t come across as rude. then again, davina knows basically NOTHING about jas. she’s never asked nico about her, or tried to find out. she always thought it would be easier to keep the girl completely seperate from her, but right now- curiosity is rubbing at her. suddenly, and INTENSELY, she wants to know EVERYTHING about jas. what was her major? does she have siblings? how did her and nico meet? 

davina p a u s e s, surprised at the offer for her to help jas with her painting. honestly, davina thought if jas were to ask her for anything, she’d decline. but that was before she spoke to her, and listened to her. before she realised that jas is just a girl, albeit a beautiful and strong one, with the warmest eyes of possibly anyone she’s ever met. plus, she’s come all the way here, to talk to davina, and be polite. surely davina can extend the same niceties. “of course!” she agrees. “i can help however you need. i don’t want to like, overtake your project, though.” she said honestly, before grabbing up a tub of green paint too, and handing it over to jas. “i think it’s a really good idea, though. christmas is probably the furtherest thing from most people’s minds. something normal might be a good thing for them. to remind them, and us , the world can be whatever we want to make it be.” she said, with a small shrug of her shoulders, a wistful smile gracing her features. “there’s power in that.” 

                              𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 :  @trulydavinas​

           𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐓    𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐒    𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌    𝐇𝐈𝐒    𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒    between    expert    fingers    and    he    exhales,    a    cloud    of    smoke    billows    out    when    he    does.    luce’s    dark,    coal    eyes    coasts    over    the    square,    individuals    scatters    about    in    their    own    groups    or    factions.    it’s    like    high    school    all    over    again    and    luce    hates    it.    he    flicks    the    blunt    away,    not    giving    a    single    fuck    as    to    where    it    lands,    and    a    hand    runs    through    his    curled    locks    and    he    lets    out    a    sigh,    shaking    his    head.

it’s    then    that    he    examines    his    now    bloodied    fist,    giving    a    shake    as    though    to    rid    of    the    pain.    luce    though    that    the    blunt    would    have    helped    —–    but    luce    is    an    idiot,    it’s    nothing    new.    he    senses    eyes    on    him,    whether    they’re    judgemental    or    not,    he    doesn’t    know.    “the    other    guy    is    fine,    by    the    way,”    he    assures    the    other.    “it    was    just    one    swing.    i    think    he    wanted    my    weed.”

“not to turn into the RUBBISH POLICE, but you shouldn’t throw your cigarette on the ground like that.” davina is saying instead, having seen the action from him and shaken her head, albeit playfully. she’s only HALF teasing. but she IS resisting the urge to pick up the cigarette and properly dipose it. they only have ONE WORLD after all, and littering has NEVER been cool. 

she does look at his knuckles then, and lets out a small, easygoing laugh. “you should probably clean that up. it looks nasty.” she doesn’t care too much about the fight. guys with bloody hands are becoming more and more common. so long as none of the punches are thrown HER WAY, she will stay blissfully ignorant. “wow, all for some WEED? that’s kinda sad. you should have given him some pity weed.” she hummed, again, only joking. davina has an inability to stay serious for ANY amount of time that’s longer than a few seconds.

          ❛  districts,  yeah.  they  don’t  all  absolutely  despise  each  other,  though.  ❜  not  that  camilla  has  any  real  hatred  in  her  heart  for  anyone  that  decided  to  split  off  from  the  first  faction.  some  were  her  friends  and  she  wasn’t  about  to  give  them  up  for  some  stupid  indecision  and  disagreements  among  them.    ❛    well,  the  sister  dies  and  she  ends  up  with  the  bread  boy.  i  wouldn’t  consider  that  the  happiest  of  endings.    ❜    usually,  she’d  avoid  spoiling  things,  but  this  was  davina  and  davina  wanted  to  know.  who  was  she  to  deprive  her  best  friend  of  such  a  thing?  eyebrows  lift  at  the  eagerness  displayed  upon  the  mention  of  food.  of  course,  camilla  knows  there  aren’t  many  options  and  rationing  would  surely  become  stricter,  but  she  truly  appreciates  the  effort.    ❛    i’m  not  gonna  send  you  on  some  wild  goose  chase,  idiot.  but  thank  you.    ❜    words  are  followed  by  a  nod,  smile  flashing  just  briefly  as  she  sets  the  book  aside  and  leans  back  in  her  seat.    ❛    you’re  such  a  crackhead.    ❜    it’s  something  said  through  a  laugh,  but  it’s  not  meant  a  malicious  or  rude  way.  it’s  banter,  of  course.    ❛    can  we  really  go  get  food,  though?  i’m  starving.    ❜

if davina could get cami to explain EVERY plot of every book to her, she probably would. her voice is just NICE to listen to. davina pretends to gasp, as if she didn’t already know the entirety of the plot, “ the BREAD BOY? what a boring title to have. i hope nobody ever refers to me as a BREAD GIRL.” she muses. “a wild goose chase means i’m doing something, and right now- i’m bored out of my mind. i know i should be like, helping my faction, or whatever, but i’ve already done all the chores and stuff. i don’t really know WHAT to do with free time anymore.” she said, honestly. she laughs as camilla does, nodding along, because yeah- davina knows she’s EXTRA GOOFY around the other girl. mainly just to get a smile, or a laugh. davina likes making ANYBODY laugh, but it’s extra special when it’s from her own best friend. “sure, but NOT the cafeteria stuff they’re trying to serve to us. surely SOMEBODY has something more interesting for us to munch on.” the cafeteria food wasn’t bad, but it was BORING and davina HATED boring. “what are your thoughts?”

           ◟ 𝒙.  he’s   not   sure   where   he’s   bleeding   from   anymore   –   his   nose   ,   definitely   ,   maybe   his   knuckles   ?   it   feels   like   he’s   been   stabbed   ,   but   he   knows   from   experience   he   hasn’t   been   .   he   walks   into   her   house   unevenly   ,   shooting   his   cousin   a   lopsided   grin   before   limping   over   to   her   couch   &   plopping   down   on   it   .   he   lifts   up   his   shirt   ,   exposing   a   nasty   injury   from   being   pushed   onto   the   concrete   roads   ,   lifting   his   shoulders   in   a   shrug   .   ‘   i   just   need   a   wet   towel   ,   dee   .   ’   he   tells   her   ,   lowering   his   shirt   and   rummaging   through   his   pockets   .   ‘   i   don’t   have   anything   for   you   except   ,   ’   he   pulls   out   a   florida   keychain   that   doesn’t   belong   to   him   .   ‘   this   .   you   like   florida   ,   right   ?   ’   he   teases   her   .

“how did you know it’s what i’ve always wanted?” davina said, with a shake of her head. although she did pocket the keychain, fondly. “sit down, i’ll get it for you.” she’s well versed in CLEANING HIM UP. she’s already walking to the kitchen sink, opening the cupboard next to it and pulling a towel out. she runs water over it, before grabbing some ice as well, wrapping it around the soft material, and handing it over to him. “y’know, maybe if you were in faction one you wouldn’t be bleeding all the time.” she said, knowing it didn’t make much sense, but not bothering to hide her agenda.

it seems to happen in a blur, a shift of bodies, movements; hands and arms — it happens before he can really see it, get a grip on it: and then she’s kissing him, nico — wait, murmured into his mouth. kissing davina had always been akin to coming up for fresh air. like everything prior to her lips brushing against his was mottled and grey; but the minute it happens, this happens — colour explodes behind his eyes, and finally, finally, he can breathe again. ( through the years, he’s made it a point not to compare jas and davina — how they kiss, how they feel, how they fuck. there are lines he’s willing to cross: hurting his girlfriend, ruining his best friend; damaging any sense of a friendship they might have once developed; but he won’t compare the two in these ways. he keeps them seperate, locked away in their own little boxes; — brought out only when he needs… reminding, of sort. )

there’s no need for boxes in this moment: as nico’s hands come around, one shifting to rest on her waist; the other at her neck, tangling into those locks of blonde-pink, and holding on. his lungs burn before long, and unlike usually — she’s the one who pulls away first; forehead pressing to his own.

those same sad-boy, puppy-dog eyes of nico’s slip shut. what the ever living fuck is he doing? he knows there has to be something wrong with him, for how long this has gone on — the two of them coming far too fucking close to being something real; only for nico to run the fuck away. ( why, why does he run away? why is he like this? has his mother fucked him up that much, that he runs at the first sight of something real — focusing instead, on all the other things he can control, he can hold onto? is he so much like his father, that he uses and hurts and ruins, because that’s just second nature, at this point? why? it’s frustrating enough that he almost, might, maybe cry over it. if he were anyone else, maybe he would have at this point. but he doesn’t. he can’t. that’s not his job — to cry over things that he doesn’t understand. it’s his job to be what everyone else needs: and they can’t afford for nico to have a breakdown right now. )

“i really missed you.” nico murmured, shoving aside the desire to ask what they were doing. his eyes still stayed shut. “i… still fuckin’ hate it when you avoid me.” he always had — even long before they were… this. his own childhood desire to be needed, liked, loved — it found its way into everything, at one point or another. “you’re… doing okay, over there?” faction one, goes unsaid. “if you need anything, or if… anyone gives you a hard time…”

they kiss like they breathe. like it’s what they were BORN to do. his hand on her hip is only encouraging her, and she’s messily, clumsily, climbing over, so she’s on his lap. she’s always on his lap. the way he holds onto her is one with careful practice. even before they became .. THIS... the pair were always touchy. always a head on each other’s shoulders, a hand on some body part. when they’d sit, their shoulders and knees would always press together. always, always touching. until jas came along. davina had LET everyone get in her head, though. let everyone say to her ‘you should see the way nico looks at you’ ‘he’s absolutely into you.’ even nico himself, with his millions of promises, his breathy murmurs about NEXT TIME. why did davina let herself get her hopes up, over and over again? 

so, she always kisses him instead. and does MORE than just kissing, by a long run. because it’s a distraction. and if their bodies are too busy sliding together, and pressing for each other, then they don’t have time to make promises they don’t intend on keeping. now, davina is deepening their kiss, as his hand entangles in her hair. she’s letting out a quiet, muffled noise of appreciation. his mouth touches her and feels like fireworks. like everything is right in the world again. if they ever stopped kissing, then this new world would hit davina even harder. and that’s part of WHY she pulls back when she does: to wake herself up, and remind her that now, her problems are a lot bigger than just JAS and NICO. she’s a bit dazed from the kiss. the intensity of it. “you missed me?” she repeats back, her voice TEASING. she missed him too, of course. infinite amounts. but she doesn’t say it back. she keeps her tone light, and casual. she ALWAYS does when it gets to moments like these. before, she’d fall into his softness. she’d whisper sweet nothings right back. but she can’t do that anymore either. not when they both know, this time next week, he’ll be saying the same thing to jas again. “i don’t like avoiding you either.” davina says, honestly, pulling back even further from him. her face is more serious now. “but it’s hard. to watch you... “ with her. she swallows thickly, and leans in again, to kiss his cheek softly, before blowing a RAPSBERRY on it, because she can. it makes her laugh to see his reaction. a signature davina move when she doesn’t want this to get SERIOUS. 

the mention of her faction has davina shrugging, nodding. she’s still on his lap. she doesn’t want to leave, even though she should. “yeah. despite popular belief that we just make flower crowns all day, chandler and leticia are really cool, and equal. plus, i got cami with me.” her best friend, in a different way from nico, but just as important. “it’s good. different. weird that now WE’RE the adults. but, we’re making things work.” for how long, she has no idea. sooner or later, will everything clash? “a hard time?” davina repeats, grin breaking across her face. she’s laughing now, teasing at nico every chance she can get. “you’re gonna protect me from all the way over  in faction three? what- do you have some davina sense i don’t know of?” she rolls her eyes at him playfully, although her heart balloons again, slightly. nico has always been a good protector of her. a good watcher. the amount of times they’ve been at a party and a guy has said or done something to davina, and suddenly THERE’S NICO appearing out of thin air, ready to fight, until an apology is given. nobody’s ever done that for davina before. davina sober up slightly now, tilting her head at him. “— why did you have to go and put your hand up to lead faction three?” she sighs at him, eyebrows knitted in worry. “was it really just because of anika?”

jasmine’s eyes widened once davina’s arms crashes and she curses, she was a nurse she was built to respond to something like that, so she rushed to stand next to the girl — even though she thought the most distance between them would be better — and slowly moved her eyes to her elbow “ are you okay ? ” she asks quietly before turning back to her features.

she wasn’t sure how to stand in front of the other, her plan never went this far in her head and she certainly didn’t think she would have to speak to davina by herself. they have never spoken before jasmine knew that it probably wasn’t a coincidence and she wasn’t bothered by it before, there was until she was right there and jas was feeling more awkward by the seconds that passed. she smiled weakly at the blonde, biting the inside of her cheek. colour ? fuck what was jasmine suppose to answer to that, she didn’t have shit to paint, not only that she barely had any creative bone in her body. 

she licked her lips and gulped down air trying to pretend she was remembering what she was there to pick up and that she wasn’t feeling extremely uncomfortable “ i, uhm, ” this wasn’t like her she was quick in her words and never flails on her thoughts, but seeing davina up close and personal makes everything so clear to her, only have seen the other in pictures and in a distance she already knew she was beautiful, now closer the pull nico felt towards her was understandable “ red ? maybe green ? ” 

hearing HIS name falling from the other’s lips, causes jasmine to advert her gaze to something else, she shelf behind the blonde the ceiling anything but davina’s eyes. they both knew how this dynamic worked surely it was in an adjustment period but they knew what happened and when it happened. she scrunches up her nose and finally looks back at davina but not eye to eye, she stared at the girls nose as she shook her head “ no, i wasn’t. ” liar, she winced at her own thoughts “ i was really looking for you, i don’t really know where else to get paint. ” she was sure her voice wasn’t convincing anyone but she tried her best.

davina almost LEAPS BACK from jas as she rounds over, to try and help. no, she wants to yell. but that would be too much. it’s too much to be occupying the same air as the girl that they both know nico loves, and chooses time and time again. davina can’t have jas TOUCHING her too. “it’s okay. i’m okay.” she says, instead, just as quickly. she’s breathing hard, as if she’s run a marathon. she cuts her gaze away from jasmine, instead looking back at her paints that are stacked up on said-shelf she almost knocked over. 

when she glances back, jas offers her a smile that’s so kind, and breaks the entire otherwise SERIOUS look that davina often sees her sporting. it makes davina want to suddenly CRY. to beg for forgiveness, to say i’m sorry. but also, i love him too. instead, she busies herself by throwing everything back into thinking about the world they’re in. the life. everything. here they are, just hormonal young adults, running a world together. how? most of them can barely make their beds each morning, or run a book club together. how did this happen to them? at jas’ answer, davina nods dutifully. “red and green. heh. celebrating christmas early?” davina notes, quickly peeking through the paints before she finds a red. “i have like.. a deep red, or a more pinkish red.” her voice is back to normal now, thank god. she can talk about paint, and art. that’s MUCH easier than anything else right now. she’s acting like this is an everyday thing: like jas often just pops around, yanks out davina’s heart, then asks for a few paints, all with that cautious smile on her face.

davina is turning back to face jasmine, handing the tub of red paint to her. she’s aware that jas is only pretending to look at her. that doesn’t bother davina in the slightest. in fact, it makes it a bit easier. “oh.” davina says, dumbly, because what else is there to say. “okay. sorry.” she didn’t mean to assume, even though she’s still PRETTY POSITIVE that has to be the only reason jas would be here. it’s the only common denominator: nico. why else would she want paints? and from DAVINA? “right.” she nods, as if jas’ responses are making perfect sense to her. she forces a bright smile to jas, before waving to her paints shelf. “you came to the right place! take your pick. honestly, some of them are probably mixed, or old. so i don’t know how well they’ll work. what are you working on?” davina pushes the topic and thought of nico out of her head, with some difficulty.

closed starter for @trulydavinas​

jasmine shouldn’t be there and she knew that, that wasn’t her faction’s territory and that wouldn’t sit well with some people, she had left them after all. the girl had ended up there after walking mindlessly through town, her head was in the clouds and somehow she had ended up there.

however there was this voice inside her head that had been screaming at her that she knew exactly what she was doing, that she wanted to wander there and see if nico had been there taking solace on someone else — their situation had changed drastically since everyone else disappeared but they were in a limbo stage that neither understood — so her mind went to that conclusion when she didn’t find him.

she knew about davina, of course she did, who wouldn’t know about the beautiful woman her boyfriend runs to the second they have a fight ? besides being his best friend of course, something that had always made jasmine stomach turn, she didn’t have anything against the blonde she only had some unresolved jealously. 

jas was directed by random people to davina’s whereabouts, seeing the blonde alone caused her to let out a gust of air she hadn’t realized she was holding. she thought about turning around but at that point she was too far deep to do it, the brunette slowly reached the other with something similar to a smile but not there yet and waved “hey,” she started her eyes darting around the room “sorry to bother you i just —” she placed her hands on her pockets “needed some, uhm, paint ?” she said unsure trying to cover the real reason of her visit “thought you might have it?”

davina is grinning as she turns to face the person asking for paint- only to promptly knock right into a nearby shelf out of pure surprise from who she sees. her elbow CRASHES against the metal shelf, her entire body suddenly too tall and clumsy. “OUCH. shit” she curses out, in panic, because jasmine is here. as in... nico’s jasmine. here. asking for PAINT. from davina. why? does she want to throw it at davina? pull a carrie, and pour a bucket right over her? davina couldn’t even BLAME her if that were the case.

to anybody else, it may seem like pure coincidence that davina and jas have never interacted before. but no, it’s all perfectly curated and coordinated by davina. whenever nico is with jas, davina just so happens to disappear from all their usual social gatherings. she avoids jas like the plague, and is WELL PRACTICED in it now. so why is jas here? did she MEAN to find davina? “no. no, no, gosh... no bother.” davina says, quickly, brushing back some of her hair from her face. “are you after a particular colour?” she clears her throat, trying to act like this isn’t awkward, and literally KILLING HER. jas is the kind of girl that is beautiful from faraway, and even MORE beautiful close up. effortlessly so. dark eyebrows, perfect lips, messy and wild curls. davina’s stomach turns in jealousy, because she can absolutely see what nico sees in the girl. she can understand it. hell, part of davina can even admit she’s attracted to the girl, too. 

davina is awkward, standing there, unsure of what to do with her body, except wince from where she’d SMASHED her elbow into a shelf. it doesn’t make sense for jas to be here. they’re not even in the same FACTION. they have nothing in common, and davina definitely isn’t the only person in this new-world with paints. “uh, if you’re looking for nico... “ she trails off, before shaking her head. “he isn’t here.” it’s unspoken, but known, that whenever him and jas break up, it’s DAVINA’S time to shine.  but not right now. not when they have FACTIONS and sides. that makes being best friends harder, because they’re literally on COMPLETE different sides of things.

“we had a very enjoyable screaming match earlier.” he fiddled with a loose thread on his jeans, not really wanting to entertain what happened earlier. ( shouldn’t you be pushing another friend off of a cliff or something? he still felt… off kilter because of it. maybe that was why he’d sought out davina in the end — a hint of normalcy, of warmth, of something that made him feel wanted and loved… and safe. ) “does that count?” nico knew it didn’t — but there was no way past what’d happened between them. his father was off limits. anything to do with his father, was off limits. it was known here and far and wide. anika didn’t get to slip the consequences because she was once his best friend.

he watches, close as he is, as her eyes dart to his mouth; her tongue wetting her lip. nico swallows roughly — she’s right there, and his mind plays a feedback loop of all the times before: what it’s like to kiss her, touch her, taste her. how she feels like life, bottled to him sometimes — whether its her laugh or her smile, or the way she laughs into every kiss of theirs. he’s about to say fuck it, enough with the waiting, duck down and kiss her with everything he has when: —

i should… go.

the words are like a cold bucket of water over his person. i should… go. he can’t ever, at all, remember a time where davina didn’t want to kiss, — or even more. ( not even in the early days, his first series of breakups with jas, when things were a mess of self-loathing and a desperate need to feel loved. when he just wanted to hurt her, at first — and messing around with his best friend seemed like the perfect way to do that. he never meant to fall in love with her. he never meant for it to be like this. is that why her pulling away hurts? because he never meant for it, yet here they fucking are anyway: it’s been months and months at this point, maybe even fucking years — and nico can’t fucking stop seeing her? ) or maybe he’s used to rejection, but he never saw it coming from davina.

nico cleared his throat, and shuffled back. respectable distance. that was what was appropriate for people like them. ( thought what they were… did they even know anymore? the lines had been blurred for too long. all nico really knew was that there was davina, and there was him — both of them by each other’s side as they always had been. ) “right. yeah. of course.” he tried for a smile, managing something weak and watery. “i should too. faction three duties and all.”

his facial expression is TOO MUCH for davina. it’s one of pure loss, and hurt. when has she ever denied him? never, ever, EVER. no matter how things have gone, she’s never actively turned him away. so what changed? the world did. suddenly, they aren’t KIDS anymore, but people with responsibilities. the fact that they’re in different factions weighs heavily on her, as if it’s an expiration date, reminding them they don’t have much time together. it’s the final nail in the metaphorical coffin.

but, she’s still w e a k . she still gives in. “NICO-” she says, her voice a sigh, a whisper. his shift in demeanour is like it was when they first met: curiously polite, and careful. not like the nico she knows, and has grown to see. so, now she must choose between the nico she loves, who hurts her sometimes, or the nico who she distances herself from, who looks at her like a stranger . . .  she chooses the former, always. her hand goes to his cheek, before circling to the back of his neck, and she’s pulling him to her suddenly. their mouths meet, and davina’s silently tells him an apology. a plea. a ‘i tried. i tried to give you up, but i can’t’. “WAIT.” she breathes the word out against his lips, her mouth pressed against his. their kisses are perfect. a form of art they’ve practiced and learned far too well together because before each other, who else did they have? it was them at the beginning, and it has to be them until the end.

and that’s why davina kisses him. that’s why she pulls him to her, before he can properly turn away. she tried but couldn’t go through with it. if it means choosing between hurting nico, or hurting herself: she will always choose hurting herself. her mouth nudges his open, hand gripping the neck of his shirt as she clings to him closely. she kisses him, and kisses him, as if he’s the only oxygen left in the world, and when she pulls away, finally, it’s only just. it’s enough to rest her forehead against his and breathe. “don’t give me those sad-boy, puppy dog eyes. you know what they do to me.” she added, teasingly, even though they both know she’s right. she’s hopelessly wrapped around his finger. stuck in his web, UNABLE to get out.

“oh my GOD, you almost gave me a HEART ATTACK.” davina yelps.  she hadn’t been expecting anybody to walk here, didn’t think anybody even KNEW about this part of the park, where there was a tiny pond, and a brick wall which davina often LAY ON, sketching. that was before everything happened, now, davina had come here in hopes to make things feel like how they USED to, but it hadn’t worked. she’d picked up her sketch pad, and pencils, and been ready to leave, when she’d looked up and spotted a girl standing CLOSE BY  suddenly. where had she even APPEARED from? she’d dropped EVERYTHING promptly, from her hands, and onto the ground, in alarm. davina is already on her knees, recovering quickly and grabbing up her pencils she’d dropped, before looking for her sketchpad. she SWEAR she’d seen it fall, here, too. it isn’t until she’s crawled on all fours, up to the girl in question - isabel? is that her name? - that she realises SHE’S the one holding it, open to a page. “oh. they’re just.. drawings. i doodle when i’m bored. i’m a doodler, what can i say?” she huffs out a small laugh, before pulling herself to her feet finally, and holding out her hand for the sketchbook the other girl now holds, slightly uncertain on what else to say or do.

“you’re BLEEDING.” davina says, matter of factly, as she takes in her cousin. her arms are crossed over her chest, shaking her head. “i’m not a nurse, but i think you need ice. or medical help.” she can’t offer him EITHER, unfortunately. part of davina is tempted to just leave him to bleed out, but they both know she’d NEVER do that. no matter how many times he’s appeared like this. she sighs, amusedly, at him, before opening her door wider for him to come inside. “should i even BOTHER asking what happened this time? did you at least bring me apology CANDY if you’re going to bleed all over my things?” 

          eyes  lift  to  one  of  her  best  friends.  there’s  no  stopping  a  smile  from  breaking  through  as  cami  rolls  her  eyes.  it’s  a  playful  gesture,  mostly  because  it’s  nearly  impossible  to  actually  be  annoyed  with  the  other  girl.  at  this  point,  she  thinks  it’ll  never  happen,  even  if  their  world  had  been  falling  apart  for  a  little  over  a  month  now.    ❛   hey,  davina.    ❜    fingers  graze  the  bookmark  at  her  side  before  it’s  being  place  in  the  middle  of  an  exciting  scene  about  katniss  volunteering  for  the  games.  after  a  while,  there’s  only  so  much  available  to  read  anymore.    ❛    i’m  fine.  thinking  about  dinner.  i  kinda  miss  being  able  to  order  chinese  or  pizza.    ❜    lips  purse,  but  she’s  soon  turning  in  her  seat  to  face  davina  with  her  arms  wrapped  around  her  legs.    ❛    are  you?    ❜

camilla’s smile is a reward that davina always cherishes. it’s part of the reason why she likes sketching camilla so much. the girl has multitudes upon multitudes of things going inside that head of hers. whatever davina is allowed into, she happily takes. “the hunger games?” she glances down at the book. “aren’t they all split into factions, too? are you trying to TELL me something here, cami? trying to get ahead of the faction game?” she pauses. “— how does that series end again? tell me it has a happy ending.” davina grins then, brightly, sitting up taller in the seating. “you want chinese? uh, i will FIND you chinese. anything you want. pizza, too. i’ll get it all. you put your order down, right here.” she’s ripping out a piece of paper from her sketchpad and handing it over. “i’ll have it delivered. the FINEST chinese and pizza in town. i have connections.” she doesn’t really, but she would FIND SOME. camilla looks tiny as she scoops her legs up. davina is momentarily startled by this fact, before replying. “i’m ALWAYS good, baby cakes, honey pie, apple of my eye.” she winks. “i’d be better if i knew where the hell EVERYONE was. is this an episode of punk’d? ashton... come on out, we know you’re here.” she feigns looking around for the male celebrity.