everything i ever wrote in my notes

i'm no longer afraid of not creating content for a day or week or month.  i used to believe that i must create something every single day in order to be consistent and successful.  nowadays, i feel more pleasure in developing myself and my craft before publicizing.  a great lesson i've learned along the way.

sigh, all these hopes and dreams, but no physical way to attain them.

to find purpose, you must lose yourself sometimes.

i feel like a dwindling flower. losing its petals due to the lack of nourishment.

dark hours

dark times, desperate measures

hey

evol

you never truly receive closure. you kind of just watch closure as it happens before your eyes.

i remember when it first started... you know, when i started liking you. the weather was warm, the clouds were white and parted enough as so the blue and sunshine in the sky were greatly visible. the music felt warm, crisp to the ears. the scent in the air was breath-taking. everything in life felt right.

hug me with your eyes closed and i promise i'll do the same. when you walk down that aisle, and meet your lover face to face, i want you to look him in his eyes, i want you to utter the words "i do", i want you to kiss whom you've fallen in love with... but i just wanted you to know, that i am still in love with you...

lord knows that i truly miss the way we used to be. innocent hearts flowing freely and gravitating towards one another as if time and all that's happened throughout history was just to produce this period in time. cheery smiles, laughs that mended the soul of any previous ailments, and sadness that were more temporary than happiness. i understand that what we were is only a distant memory. sometimes i wonder if it's merely a figment of my imagination. life drew us closer only to repel us once more. lord knows that i miss the old us. to live those days again would be priceless. to hold onto moments a little longer, to cherish the insignificant times as if they meant everything to me.