Listening to sad songs from The Cure seems to be the only thing that makes my heart feel anything lately

It’s killing me to love you but it’s the only way to live

I miss feeling your body wrapped around me in bed, your arms wrapping mine in closer, pulling yourself in tighter. I miss feeling your breathing slow down until it starts flowing in perfect synchronicity with mine. I miss kissing the back of your neck as I feel you slowly fall asleep. I miss the privilege of ending my day and starting a new one lying next to my favourite person and the comfort and ease that feeling brings me. I miss you.

I want you in my life but, at the same time, I want you as far away from it as possible. You’re the Halloween candy with razorblades inside; a cheap, dirty trick with no rhyme or reason, wrapped in a glistening and sweet coat. You’re the drug I took too much of that’s now fucking me up. You’re the favourite meal I overindulged in and no longer like that much. I just wanna cut you out, but I don’t wanna cut myself. I don’t know if there’s a way to do the former without doing the latter.