dysphoria

cannot tell u how long i have been waiting for the EDEN album drop and now im sad cos its out and im at one of the most suicidal points in my life and i dont want to associate it with bad things but i dont want to wait and listen when my mental health is a little better cos the wait was SO long anyway. eternal strugglesssss 

it actually really fucks me up in the head that ive shared such intimate details with people who would be happy to see me dead now. im not opening up to anyone anymore because i only ever get hurt or misled, i honestly give up with everything

why have I only ‘dated’ fucking weirdos looool cannot attract normal people

can boys get their disgusting new balance trainers away from me THANKS

my personal trainer is putting me on an intense fitness and nutrition plan for the next four months and hes already raving about the results im going to see. day 1 of size 6 bod goal, lets gooooo 

walked into work today and everyones faces lit up n i got so many hugs n they said they missed me (its only been a week lol) so i un-quit my job, so dumb but surrounded by positivity and warmth !! u guys have my heart