butt types
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@tristanathedork
butt types
© Viktor Hertz

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Show us the ideal unicorn body
This art by Dark Natasha that rewired my brain when I was 12
Sometimes I read unicorn erotica and most of it is quite poor, but to this day this is one of the funniest lines I've ever read in any smut ever. I can quote it by heart. It lives rent-free in my brain. I repeat it like a mantra.
"I'm a unicorn, I'm gay, and I sensed a virgin."
This is literature. This is poetry. A seminal work of art. The English language was forever changed by this line.
yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
life and death and love and birth and peace and love on the planet earth
The best part of this is that "virgin Molotov Cocktail" would itself be a great nickname for a jar of piss

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listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different
i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts
this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it
cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah
I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.
Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.
But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)
Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".
Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.
congrats, i award you funniest take on this post
if sex work was legal the workers could unionize
I am fully serious about this btw. not "pro sex work" as in "there are no issues whatsoever within the industry", but "pro sex work" as in "these are jobs and the workers should be a) allowed to work and b) protected from their customers by the law"
people responding to this with stuff like "but that would just put sex workers in the same exploited position as uber drivers, cleaners, migrant workers, etc" and yes! good point! reform all of it! keep going!
harry potter fans in 2025
people DESPERATE in the notes to explain why the way THEY engage with harry potter is morally pure. It's like white people talking about rap music in there! Libraries buy the books! Fanfiction maintains a conversation around the IP! There is NO WAY to enjoy harry potter in 2025 without publicly supporting JK Rowling!

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"Grok is undressing anyone, including minors"
Grok is the tool. X users are doing this. X users are requesting this and Grok engineers facilitated this. Both are liable for this.
Yes, precisely.
I started thinking the Pacify ability was actually just Melinöe giving the world’s most complicated directions to these poor shades. She learned from the Reigen Arataka school of gestures.
Frog Enlightenment
Oh. That's hilarious.
*through gritted teeth* when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my character. when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my worth as a human being

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You've heard about "no nut november" but what about "deny defend depose December"
liberals like. "the only way to combat fascism is to become hardline pro America nationalists talking about the foreign invasion of our sacred country"