Trichs and Picks

Hello! We've had a lot of fun with our Tumblr advice column and hope it's been a great help to the BFRB community. As the times change we have decided to update our forum and ask that you please direct all further questions to either the TLC Facebook page or the TLC Instagram page. You can DM us from either platform and we'll get back to you! Thank you for your support.

Hello! We've had a lot of fun with our Tumblr advice column and hope it's been a great help to the BFRB community. As the times change we have decided to update our forum and ask that you please direct all further questions to either the TLC Facebook page or the TLC Instagram page. You can DM us from either platform and we'll get back to you! Thank you for your support.

Hi, thank you for reaching out. I know that BFRBs can vary for everyone and some can range from scratching the surface to feeling like you can’t stop picking no matter what. I’m sorry that you don’t feel like yourself. What I do when I feel that way is to ground myself by naming a scent, a sound and a texture I am surrounded by in the current moment. I also take 3 deep breaths while closing my eyes. When you start feeling overwhelmed or just not yourself, I think it is important to remember that you have the ability to bring yourself back to a safe space. If you’re able to, contact someone close to you who you can talk to about a passion of yours or something you enjoy doing together. I hope this helps. 

Hi there! Thanks for reaching out. Blunt ends can be troubling for me too but I have found that wearing bandanas or different hairstyles helps me pull less. Braiding my hair or wearing it in an updo has been helpful for me as it is harder to access the hair in those styles. I hope this helps! 

Hi, thanks for reaching out! It’s really great that you feel comfortable talking with your friends about your derm and that they want to help. Sometimes it’s hard to know if and how you want people to help you. A lot of it depends on how much you want your friends to intervene. For instance, you could have a friend send you a signal to make you aware of when you are picking if you don’t do it in private, or you could even just ask them to be supportive and kind to you when you are struggling. I think it’s really awesome that your friends are so supportive of you and I hope this helped!

Hey thanks for asking such an in-depth question, I’m sure there’s actually a lot of people out there wondering the same things. I think it’s important to acknowledge that all of these behaviors have been building up to a point where you are in distress about not only managing them but also the lasting damage that you could be doing to your skin. I too have struggled with these problems before. For me, it was a matter of taking the step to get help from a professional. Sometimes it can be scary asking for help on such a sensitive issue but I can assure you that it’s well worth it! Check out https://www.bfrb.org/find-help-supportfor info on everything from therapists to support groups to skin scare specialists who can provide you with tools to help manage the skin picking as well as strategies for mitigating existing skin damage and protecting your skin in the future. I personally haven’t had much success with fidget toys but one thing I have had a lot of success with is mindfulness training. A good place to start is trying to “ride the wave” or “urge surfing” which is a basic mindfulness technique to help you get through moments of time where your urges to pick are intensified. There is a lot of information about this technique out there if you just google, “mindfulness, how to ride the wave.” Definitely check out the website I listed above and take a moment to reflect on how you have been feeling lately. If you are overwhelmed and feel a sense of desperation in regards to your skin picking I would urge you to seek professional help, there’s no way that I could’ve gotten to where I am today with my BFRB without getting a little help along the way!

Hi, thanks for reaching out! First of all, congratulations on your progress! I hope you feel proud of yourself, and still know that it’s okay if you relapse; your hard work won’t go to waste. It’s not wrong to say you have a BFRB and you shouldn’t feel that you faked it even though you aren’t currently engaging in your behaviors. Many people experience periods of engaging and not engaging in their BFRB, and it’s completely normal. If you want any resources or more information please visit the TLC Foundation for BFRBs website at bfrb.org

You can also try covering your mirror so you aren’t given the access to pick. Getting rid of your tweezers may also be something you can do. That may sound like a major step, so you can first try moving your tweezers and flashlight to a less accessible place so you will have to stop and think about retrieving them before acting on the urge. Ayr Saline Nasal Gel can help keep your nose from drying out. I’d suggest not using oil based lubricants as those can dry your nose out more. You can also try massages for lymphatic system that may help clear your nose. Here is a link to a video demonstrating how to do the massage, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zLB6n_R-dus. I hope this helps you!

Swim caps are a great way to prevent bald spots from showing since it covers your whole head. Soft headbands can work too! Also, if you’re able to, you can braid or tie your hair back in a way that covers the spots and leave your hair that way when you swim. I hope this helps and have fun on your trip!

I am glad you reached out because it is awful not feeling accepted by your own family members. I first would tell them you don’t like it when they show your hands to other people because it hurts you. Also another idea would be to go to bfrb.org and there is an area on the website where they have articles for parents. I would have them read those articles if I were you and just know you are beautiful just the way you are. The TLC community is here for you and is cheering you on every step of the way!

Sometimes the emotions driving us to engage in picking or pulling can be overwhelming. I personally try to ground myself through mindfulness and “ride the wave” of my emotions because for me, they generally come and go in tides so if I wait long enough I know that the feelings I’m having in a moment when I’m having a difficult time regulating my BFRB, will eventually subside back to a more neutral and manageable feeling. I have also sought professional counseling in some of my hardest times to get guidance on how to better manage my emotions. If this is something that interests you, check out bfrb.org under tools and info to find a TLC approved mental health care provider in your area.

Hi! I want you to know I’m proud of you for reaching out and that it is tough having to deal with one BFRB let alone multiple BFRB’s. I truly can’t say if it’s common for BFRBs to come in pairs but I can tell you that I pull my hair and pick my skin, and many people in the BFRB community seem to also have not just one BFRB. Now when it comes to if you need help or not, I can’t answer that for you but can tell you that I personally find it challenging trying to overcome my BFRBs all on my own. Sometimes just having someone there other than yourself to cheer you on is all it takes to keep persevering in this everyday challenge. I want you to know that the BFRB community is here for you and there are BFRB support groups on Facebook that you can join if you want to explore that support system as well.

For your question about if picking your skin to get the hair out, while we can't diagnose you, it certainly sounds like dermatillomania. Picking at your skin to get hair out is often considered skin picking/dermatillomania. I do the same thing and find that putting lotion on my hands makes it hard to dig the hair out.is very similar to skin picking / dermatillomania, and can be considered the same behavior.

You can follow this link, http://www.bfrb.org for more information on hair pulling disorder and other Body-focused repetitive behaviors.

Hello! Everyone has grooming behaviors that they engage in, whether it’s the occasional nail biting, pulling out a few hairs here or there or even peeling the dry skin off of your lips. The main thing to look out for is whether or not it is causing you distress or tissue damage to your body. If you think this is becoming uncontrollable then you may be developing a BFRB. There are plenty of things that you can try to curb this behavior. Maybe start out with bringing something to keep your hands busy in class like a fidget toy or a ‘worry stone.’ If that doesn’t do the trick then I might try scheduling an appointment with a therapist or join a support group for BFRBs near you! Check out bfrb.org under tools and info for more good ideas and resources for finding support in your area.

Hello, I have also pulled out hair from those places. I don’t think it sounds silly at all. I am happy that you wrote in. Trichotillomania, or hair pulling disorder, is characterized by the repetitive pulling out of one's hair. It does not have to be confined to the hair on your head, so what you are describing is included in the Body-focused repetitive behavior group. You can visit http://www.bfrb.org for more information. There is a whole community of people who have BFRBs. As for the scars, some natural ways to help reduce their appearance would be to rub aloe vera or coconut oil on them. A small mixture of baking soda and water scrubbed on the scar and then rinsed off after a minute is another way. Also, mixing some apple cider vinegar with honey and applying it to the scar then rinsing it off 10 minutes later should also be effective. It is suggested to do this 3 times a day for the best results. I hope this helps!