hot mess express

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

I am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

Whats the deal with the shambling corpse thats been following us for weeks

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

Like, I expected to get pounded and be wet. You're telling me neither of those happen?

this is nothing that a little weed and a reasonably priced cocktail and a themed dinner party and a bisexual he/they and a paperback novel from the discount bin and a bucket of movie theater popcorn and central ac and a personalized playlist from your best friend and clean sheets and a slam poem and a four hour video essay and a pair of comfortable jeans and freshly washed hair and complete political reform and a single, perfect strawberry can't fix

this counts as using hamburgers to explain the economy

BLUB GLUB GLUB DROWNING ME

wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

wait a minute

⚠️ A single, distant "awawa!" echoes from the hills...

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit