fuck it, audit reminds me of rin (misogyny, referenced abuse under the cut </3) also got murderpost-y towards the end LOL
rin's general (wholly wrong) belief that takara is his "wife" (or girl who's totallyyy into him and just playing hard to get) and that everything is going well. brain of calculation with the heart as an abacus (hard to figure out) reminds me of his time at psb, him starting his work there and realizing how cold it is compared to the store his father ran...but it's not like he's complaining much when he's got real money now, real power too. he's on the track to becoming an Important Man...and then Taka will have to look his way!
again the chorus repeats around the wife part, but the rest of the lyrics change. the emphasis on him lying (something rin does QUITE fucking often LMAO) but he's doing alright and not "we" (the singer and his wife, or rather rin and taka in this case) is telling on rin's tunnel vision even when he claims to be doing things for taka. it's all about him at the end of the day.
getting better, trying to quit, it's supposed to speak to felix (the singers) addiction here but i also see it as rin's gross nature in general towards takara. he oversteps what little lines she manages to draw between them constantly and always backtracks, always gives her empty promises and apologies that he's trying to quit making certain weird ass jokes around her because he knows she doesn't like them. but she knows him, and she knows he's faking it, but what can she do except roll her eyes and move (and hope he does the same?)
the first two lyric bars remind me of exactly how his last words to takara must've sounded when they met again after aging arc lol; he's not perfect, he knows he fucked up between them, but he's serious about his love for her, he swears! he'll get better, he isn't some mindless psb drone like the ones that hurt her at the detention facility (even tho he stood behind that shit cause he was hoping they'd beat her into submission #solike.)
and the last two, just reminded me of how rin's obsession (heh 🫀) with takara had reached its peak right before she killed him LMAO. nobody knows how he feels about her, nobody could even try to understand. his arrogance, his insistence that he alone loved takara more than denji and nayuta, her own family, more than the woman she was actually romantically in love with (genny monroe 🎀), is what signs his death warrant in the end. he's so infatuated with a version of takara that doesn't exist he's caught completely off guard when she, realizing the threat he poses to her loved ones (and not her, never herself), decides to gouge his eyes out <3
