We HAVE To Talk About This Book

But I did find American Gods right before I went on a car trip, and so I can FINALLY review that. Not like it came out in 2001 or anything.

Oddly, this turned out to be really timely for me because a) American Gods is scheduled to come back as a show for it’s second season soon! Yay! and because b) a few days ago I got to go to a LARP in Chicago that was very much American Gods and Sandman esq. (Side note: If you’re in the Chicago area and that sounds fun to you, check out Empyrean- only three spots left for new characters this cycle!) Basically, the mood is strong.

Neil Gamin might be from the UK, but dang, he gets America. Really gets it. The diners, the cities, the way people come here and make up whole identities for themselves, the hidden history, the quiet sense of entitlement, even our bizarre roadside attractions. He gets us. And he appreciates it in a way that sees it for what it is but isn’t overly critical or glorifying, like the way a celebrity’s best friend from before they were famous might see them. Like “yeah, that’s just X, they’re ok”. And there is something very comfortable about that.

Also super cool, the way that the Gamin manages to portray the gods as human and divine, and possessing many forms at once. So like Anansi the spider is a spider, but also a man in a yellow suit, but also sort of a centuar-spider, but also many other things to reflect the way any human has ever imagined him. And how the gods have different forms in different countries. So like, American Kali is not the same as Indian Kali, though they’re the same deity.

Downsides are that I am disappointed in Laura, I thought the resolution of her character was going to be different, but I’m not unsatisfied with it. Also the mystery around shadow in how it was resolved. I was sort of pitching for him to be a sort of new god himself, or like not quite a new god, more of a reoccurring being made up of mankind’s desire to believe in someting or their disbelief, but he was not. Actually his revealed identity was kind of a let down. Not that I’ll spoil that for you.

I will tell you that if you’re like me and you didn’t catch on to Low-Key Liesmith being Loki... well... at least there are two of us now.

I’d give this book an 9, 8 for content, 1 extra because I really liked it. Where it lost points was where it took from some more familiar tropes at the end and let me down with human character resolutions. I’d still recommend it, but with the understanding it is NOT A BINGE READ.

Empyrean was also great for the record. It’s happening in Chicago on a series of different nights throughout the year. It’s lowkey as far as having to have a lot of costume stuff, and you don’t have to write your own backstory which is nice. The LARP is all happening organically in a small space having to do with people who were totally normal until they found out they were the eternal spirits of a concept doomed to be controlled by fate forever and have now decided to fight back. Who they become, what they decide to do, and how it actually happens is all up to us, the players. If you like mythology, and you like LARP, and you’re in the Chicago area- why not try it out? It’s a blast and everyone is super nice. Plus if this is your first game, it’s got the advantage of you being able to dress like a person in modern America and not needing any special weapons or really anything but yourself to participate (those latex weapons are pricey yo).

Next time: We’ll be looking at Good Omens, also by Neil Gamin, because that’s what I’m in the middle of and because it is also coming out soon! So far it’s hilarious.

First one:

The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

I have never met anyone who didn’t like this book. And what isn’t to like? It’s a cute book that’s fun no matter how old you are about a little kid going out to play in the snow. SO MUCH SNOW. It’s like a dream come true. The pictures are cute and pretty to look a,t appearing to be some sort of cut paper style that is full of color and life, and the story is short enough and simple enough to read with even wriggly toddlers. Available everywhere in board book, hardcover, and softcover, you have options for your budget and the age of the child you’re trying to gift. Plus it’s relevant as long as it’s cold!

The Mitten by Jan Brett

Does the child in your life like animals? Are you looking for a book that will live longer than the Christmas season? This is for you. Jan Brett’s The Mitten is adorable and has charming, colorful pictures full of detail. The story revolves around a lost white mitten that becomes an increasingly crowded house for the local wildlife. Did you know that a bear could live inside a mitten? Neither did I, but in this story, it’s possible. A light, cozy read that will make you laugh, this book should be super easy to find. Jan Brett is a very popular and enduring author/illustrator and even if this gem is sold out one of her other wintry books should be just as much fun.

If You Take a Mouse to the Movies and If You Give a Moose a Muffin by Laura Numeroff (illustrated by Felicia Bond)

Does your child like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Because if they do, these two wintry books might be right up your alley. The mouse one is a little more Christmas-y than the moose book so if you need a more neutral present that might be the way to go, but they’re both good reads. Personally, I actually liked if You Give a Moose a Muffin better than the original If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. They’re much in the same vein though, only with a moose in your home doing damage to your property values and making wintry crafts instead of a season neutral rodent.

In the interest of getting my double entries out of the way...

Eloise at Christmas Time and Eloise in Moscow by Hilary Knight

Did you see the movie? I bet you saw the movie. Yeah, it’s sort... of... like the movie... if you squint... and tilt your head... and... 

Ok, they’re not very much alike at all. But they’re both pretty fun. The book Eloise at Christmas Time is always going to win out for me though. These books might be better for a little bit of an older child since they’re quite long as picture books go, and the illustrations are mostly limited to monochromatic line art that is full of personality and punctuated by splashes of color (pink and red for Christmas, blue and yellow I believe for Moscow). The storylines are basically about Eloise running around a certain place enjoying it as only a six-year-old can, but it isn’t the storyline that gives this series charm it’s Eloise herself. It would be easy for her to be just a spoiled little girl in a New York penthouse, but to Eloise, the world is a magical place full of wonder and things to explore. She runs around frantically in a way that would make adults anxious (especially in a Moscow that seems to have come from a place of suspicious glances between countries) but she is fearless. And more than that, even small things or things that adults look down upon are important to her. Eloise shines because she truly sees the world and the people in it. So holiday or wintry, pick one up. Well worth it.

Madeline’s Christmas or Madeline in America by Ludwig Bemelmans

You know when you remember a thing from your childhood, but you only remember the really strange parts of it? That is the problem I’m having right now and it’s driving me crazy. I remember loving these books and the art in them. I remember thinking Madeline in a cowboy hat was weird (I mean she’s in America she had to). I remember her getting locked overnight in a mall, and giving toys to children who needed them, and... not much else. I don’t remember why she was in America, but I’m sure that would fill in a LOT of holes.

Madeline’s Christmas is a much more standard tale. There are cookies! And the girls get to go home for Christmas! And they save a genie from frostbite and pneumonia! (Did I say standard?) This book is cute, and it’s fun, and I can bet that the child in your life does not already have a book in their collection about twelve girls saving a magic man from freezing to death and them him turning out to be their own personal Christmas genie. Points for originality.

The Trees of the Dancing Goats by Patricia Polacco

Do you live in Michigan? Do you come from a family that celebrates Christmas and Hanukkah? Do you like heartwarming tales with great pictures? Pick The Trees of the Dancing Goats. For some reason, I always remember the title of this one wrong, but I checked it so I promise I’m not sending you on a wild goose chase. This book is actually still one of my favorites because it’s all about people coming together in their time of need despite the things that make them different. In a world that likes to separate us, it feels good to know people like this exist. This story revolves around two families making holidays for each other even though they’re really not sure what they’re doing because they care about the people in their community. A Jewish and a Christian family give comfort to each other by taking care of each other’s holidays while the families are laid up. This is the sweetest thing in the world and everyone deserves to hear this story and to have people like this in their life.

Auntie Claus by Elise Primavera

Have you ever wanted to be the cool aunt? This is it. This is the one. The colors are great. Auntie Claus is a BOSS and totally the fairy godmother I aspire to become. She’s Santa Claus’ sister and probably runs the entire North Pole. I mean they don’t say that but if you read the book, you would believe it. Along the way, her niece learns the true meaning of Christmas is not presents, it’s about giving. The book also has two sequels (the second is about the brother, the third I haven’t read because I’m old now and I only just learned about it) but the first one is a classic and perfect for the small diva in your life and/or adding to your cool aunt image.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

I’m sure you know about this one. Things you might not know? The Jim Carey movie is trash (at least in my option) and has almost nothing to do with this book except some character names. This book has the same things you would expect from any Dr. Seuss book- cute pictures, silly words, rhyming, a pretty straightforward moral. You’ll be quoting it for the rest of your life. This is a great read-aloud book and fun when you’re little or when you’re a grown-up. Unless your shoes are too tight, in which case you probably hate everything.

The Nutcracker

You have some options here. Above is pictured my favorite version of this book (the one I had as a kid), but here’s the thing, it was published in the early 90′s, so you probably won’t find this one in your local shop. That’s fine. You could try The Nutcracker and The Mouse King from 1853 by E.T.A. Hoffman which the ballet was based on (mine was based on the ballet) which is available in English in many versions I’m sure, but it’s pretty long and better for older kids probably because while it is very much a fairytale in its story, it’s German... and old... and... ah... well, you’ve read Hansel and Gretal. You can assume there might be weird crap in it. Even the Barbie version of this story is great though. Cheesy, but a fun ride. I can’t remark on the Disney version but if you pick up a Nutcracker picture book with some good artwork you’ll have a hit.

The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg

If you don’t know about this book I’m assuming you don’t celebrate Christmas and live under a rock. Especially since the Tom Hanks movie, this is a book that everyone has in their collection, or certainly should. It doesn’t have any of the side plots from the movie but it very much does stress belief and the magic in the world that comes with it. Still gives me goosebumps, but I’m a romantic and I want to believe in everything. Fun for all ages, and kids who like trains.

12 Days of Christmas by Robert Sabuda

Yes, I know he didn’t write the carol.

This is one book you should not buy on a kindle. I’m all for electronic books if that’s your jam, but this is a pop-up book, and 3D paper art just will NOT be as impressive on a screen! Robert Sabuda is a wonderful pop-up artist and has lots of other books that are fun as well, some of them even wintry, but to me this one will always hold a special place. The pop-ups are delicate so if you have grabby kids (I mean like toddlers) you might want to put this one on the list for next year (I say this as someone who’s house has lost a copy to five grabby kids, including myself) but it is 100% worth the money and a very cool gift. Just not when you tear the pop-ups off their pages by accident as a small child.

Do you have religious friends? Yeah, me too. And we were those people. So here are a few for the religious crowd. Or not I mean you do you.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a book in a series so if the child in your life likes it, encourage them to read the other ones! It’s a simple chapter book for someone about third grade, but it’s a blast no matter how old you are. I put it with the religious books not because it’s super religious in tone, but because it revolves around a church Christmas pageant and because if you’re from a family that is really active in your church there are things in this book that will feel SUPER FAMILIAR. Like how you do things every year sort of because you want to and sort of because your parents volunteer for you. Or how you might spend years trying to get to do a certain thing in your community and then suddenly some random kid who only got there yesterday swoops in and gets to do it even though they don’t care and don’t want it. Or how there is always that ONE FAMILY who has kids who won’t behave and they are ALWAYS around. My mom teaches religious ed (Sunday school) and she will tell you with a smile that those kids are the ones who come early, get picked up late, and never miss a class. Or how you fall into traditions or ways of doing things and you never bother to ask why (Mary can’t be pregnant! She was great with child!). I mean I say all of this because I love it and it makes me laugh, but as a kid, it feels like you’re going crazy and this book captures that in the best possible way and then helps you get over it and appreciate these things. 

I still can’t hear “great with child” and not smile though.

Country Angel Christmas by Tomie dePaola

This one isn’t super religious either, it just transitions there in the end in a “the true meaning of Christmas” way. The book is all about some little angles who have to make the Christmas celebration this year and feel inadequate next to the other angles who they think can do AMAZING things while they just do... farm stuff (I like farms ok). It’s very much like what it might feel like to be a little sibling or relative when you have cool older cousins or siblings who are running around doing everything better than you. The story though comes back around to tell them that it isn’t about what other people can do, it’s about what they can do and can do better than anyone else. What they have that’s special to them. And everyone- Santa, Jesus, even the bigger cooler angles- end up loving the things that they bring to the table. It’s a great book by a famous artist that drives home the idea that we all have something to offer, no matter what.

This one was published the year I was born I believe so you might not find a copy of it on a shelf at Barns and Noble or whatever- but it would be a great one to order or keep an eye out for in days to come.

The Legend of the Poinsettia by Tomie dePaola

Add a little diversity to your collection with this favorite! This book takes place in Mexico and is a really good story about responsibility, doing your best, and the way that God accepts the things that we offer him and transforms them into something more than we gave him. It also hits on things like family, working hard, and some small details about how celebrating Christmas in Mexico might be different from our own celebrations (I live in Chicago, we don’t really do Las Posadas). It’s a nice change of pace and it isn’t a book that I see very often in book collections so while it’s usually a hit, you probably won’t be gifting someone a book that they already have.

The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado

I feel like this is that religious Christmas book, probably because Max Lucado is really popular in Christian communities regardless of denomination and he writes for both adults and children. He’s like that guy that everyone’s heard of.

Our book today is A Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. Based on the cover, there are three things I think you should know right away. This book has nothing to do with the outdoors or winter.

I say this because I, of course, thought that this book would be a heartwarming tale about a woman in her thirties (based off this cover and the blurb on the back) who embarks to a cabin in the woods to learn about survival skills from an older family member and finds love with some rugged outdoors person. Probably after falling into a lake while ice fishing. This actually made me want to pick up the book, less for the Hallmark Channel vibe but because the first snow of the year fell in my town recently and between that and Thanksgiving, I was feeling a little cozy and nostalgic.

That being said, I feel like I spent most of this book on a beach. It was nice, but it wasn’t what I was really craving. What this book delivered on was what it promised in another way. It promised to be about the exploration of love and sex that people go through as they age and the main character Jane really did grow through her romantic and platonic relationships in a way that was both clumsily self-assured, nervous, and incredibly self-aware in a way that makes the reader feel that they too are on this journey in the most intimate way.

I myself have little experience of romantic love. I have been however in a position to observe the development of it through my family members and I think that Banks manages to, in these stories, get at the most basic relationship struggle a person can face. We all want to be loved. We all wonder, sometimes, if we really are loveable. And somehow we have to find a way to live within these truths.

You see, I wanted to do really in-depth book reviews on this blog, and then pepper in fun things and research papers and cool stuff that might give people a laugh, but sometimes I get myself in over my head because I’ve started trying to review a series with nine books individually and as a set with a TV tie-in, started a modern goddesses and gender studies research project, and am still looking for a job. In this case, I want to be able to give you a quick review of a book I had a lot of fun with, but without much to think about because hey: we all need a break.

Enter “Trash Reviews”! Reviews of not-trash books done in a trash timeframe.

Today’s is: The Trouble with Dukes by Grace Burrows

I found this book because I used to work in a used bookstore and someone brought this in with a batch of other romance novels- but this one had the tagline “THEY CALL HIM THE DUKE OF MURDER.” 

Which of course means I had to read it.

Apparently, I’m allergic to reading things in order because this is the first book in the Windham Brides series BUT that series is actually a continuation of a series that Burrowes did previously also following the Windham family that chronicles how the main character’s cousins got together. You don’t have to read those first, but her cousins and their wives are minor characters in the book (but ah, if you don’t think that there is a wedding at the end of a romance novel, you obviously don’t understand this genre, so I’m not going to say this is a spoiler.)

The book revolves around Megan Windham who is very much NOT interested in getting married, a creeper that she went out with like ten years ago who is blackmailing her into a wedding, and Hamish MacHugh, a newly minted Scottish duke, war hero, and guy I would 100% invite to my next barbecue despite the fact that his nickname is “the duke of murder”.

I can’t tell you much about the story or I’ll spoil the entire thing but here are some character highlights:

Megan is super blind

Apparently, ferns are makeout spots

Clydesdales are not appropriate horses for a ride in the park

Creeper McCreeperson cannot get any lower, but he ALWAYS DOES

Everyone in this family is disgustingly in love and I love it

Grace Burrows obviously understands the big family dynamic because she NAILS IT and both the MacHughs and the Windhams are delightful

The sequel to this is called “Too Scott to Handle”

My favorite things about this book are that it’s funny, it’s genuine, and it’s really well thought out. Nothing is just fuller it all feels like it needs to be there, but it’s just a light, easy read that makes you happy. Also Burrows is really very much aware of the time she is writing in- the prejudices, the money, the social climbing, the way things had to look ‘normal’, but also things like how most of the men were home from the Napoleonic wars and PTSD was a widespread problem that men were dealing with and trying to do so without talking about it or without really understanding it. There is just so much depth and life to these people, even the smallest characters, that I adore it. 

I bought four more of these immediately.

And thus we elaborate:

WHERE DO I EVEN START?!

Jem. Ok, Jem Flockhart is the main character of this series and is lovely. Talking about Jem is really complicated because of the differences of how we look at gender and sexuality as opposed to how it was looked at in the time period, and the fact that on top of it Jem’s situation isn’t the most straightforward to begin with. Jem is an apothecary. She (because that seems to be how she self-identifies) is the only surviving child of her parents and is physically (and seemingly in her own mind) a woman, but was raised as a man in the place of her twin brother so that she could take on the family business and has lived her whole life as a man in public. She is keenly aware of her feminity though and how this isolates her from the world even as she presents as a man to move around freely in society. She mourns the idea that she could never have a husband or a wife because of this because she is sure she’d be rejected by both men and women for her lifestyle and because of a very obvious birthmark that she feels makes her unattractive regardless of presentation. She does have a friend who is aware of her complicated relationship with gender and he loves her regardless of it, though she doesn’t seem to feel the same way, but he can respect that and helps to protect Jem’s secrets like a real human being and not a creep. Jem also is shown to have a sexual relationship with a woman so- hey! Historic lesbians! Cool!

So besides the fact that the main character seems to be a super smart bisexual gender non-conforming rockstar of a person, what has this book got to offer?

For one, it doesn’t treat the past with undue reverence. A lot of historical novels seem to gloss over the uncomfortable parts of history and romanticize the things that seem beautiful. Dark Asylum though is upfront about the fact that the past was a MESS for most of the people who lived in it. It doesn’t take place in the rich parts of London, it’s at home in the neighborhoods where the poor struggle day to day or try to drag themselves up into the middle class. The world is dirty and dark and people are eating rats while kids run around wild and uneducated, and no one has adequate medical care. Women are harassed and looked down upon and taken advantage of at every opportunity with a casualness that while clearly frustrates the women characters, they have no power to change and have to face at every turn while the men don’t even notice that they’re doing anything wrong. The people in the asylum are even more victimized than the poor and the women and again, the book isn’t shy about showing us that. There are doctors who care about the patients, sure, but mostly what society considers progress for these people is for them to confirm or to be quiet and if they don’t, they get thrown away. it works the same was with the justice system as we’re shown it, which is why the disenfranchized are pushed again and again to break laws and to go about seeking their own forms of justice.

Rad, love a good political commentary. Anything else?

SO MUCH. Like how do you face terminal illness when you know that there isn’t anything that can be done about it? Or is redemption as it’s presented to us really a viable path for anyone to rehabilitate themselves in that world? And how far is the world of this book from our own today? (#Not far.)

Wow, you really liked this book.

Yup! I won’t say it didn't have problems- I mean, if you read a lot of mysteries you won’t be surprised by the ending. And I can’t say it’s always easy to read if you don’t have a tolerance for dark things. It’s worth it though. The language writing is beautiful, it has a really eerie tone, the characters are human, and it does a good job of trying to represent people who are often overlooked in this genera.