gremlin gf

You ever meet a kid so shitty you're immediately like "I want to adopt you as my own so I can instill into you the values of dignity and compassion and respect for self and others that your guardians have so obviously neglected, so that you may escape the unhappy future that lies ahead of you with all the smoldering ashes of wasted potential" but also, like. I punt you like a football

Drop the vape u little turd I'm gonna take an active interest in your passions and buy u pants that fit. When was your last dentist appointment. U wanna go to summer camp

and then you didn't

Did u want me to kidnap a child

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

trans guy who finally figured out his name, about to come out in the funniest way to his friends: hey guys can i be frank with you all

can anyone remember that post about how children write the best poems & it had an article attached showing the differences between little kids' poetry & preteens?? im desperate to find it again

I missed the last one entirely because I was too focused on “weak jeans”

every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit

nature is healing

Finally finished teaching oranghutans agriculture. Now I'm off to teach dolphins how to war.

ants already know both of those things

who do you think taught me?

he didnt even try. like jack black actually made his voice fit bowser you almost can't tell its him and then you have mario whos like "hey in case you forgot i am voiced by chris pratt who didnt even fucking try and i will talk like this for two hours"