VISUAL VIBEZ

* Your parents did the best they could, AND their choices wounded you.

* You love someone AND you know it’s not healthy to keep them in your life.

* You’re terrified to take the next step AND you know it’s the right thing to do.

* You want to have healthy relationships AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult.

* You’re afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself.

So I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while, and Colin Mochrie’s daughter coming out as trans kind of inspired me to do this.

Disclaimer: No relative of mine has come out as trans, at least not that I know of, and I have no children, but I have a handful of trans friends, some of whom came out as trans after I met them. This is meant to be applicable to any relationship.

1. Sometimes, on the surface, your idea of someone and who they actually are is not the same. We think that person’s a girl and they’re actually a guy, or what have you. The fact is, aside from gender and appearance they’re still that person we love. Remember that. They are still your child, your friend, your sibling, your whatever.

2. There’s going to be a learning curve. You’re used to referring to them by one name and set of pronouns, and now they’re going by another name and set of pronouns. It’s an adjustment. But adjust, damn it. And don’t be a histrionic fuckass about it. If you mess up (which you probably will at first), just correct yourself and move on. If you do that, pretty soon it will be second nature to refer to them as the right name and pronouns.

3. I am not trans, so I am not an expert on the trans experience. But I do know they’re dealing with enough bullshit. Give them support, not more bullshit.

So I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while, and Colin Mochrie’s daughter coming out as trans kind of inspired me to do this.

Disclaimer: No relative of mine has come out as trans, at least not that I know of, and I have no children, but I have a handful of trans friends, some of whom came out as trans after I met them. This is meant to be applicable to any relationship.

1. Sometimes, on the surface, your idea of someone and who they actually are is not the same. We think that person’s a girl and they’re actually a guy, or what have you. The fact is, aside from gender and appearance they’re still that person we love. Remember that. They are still your child, your friend, your sibling, your whatever.

2. There’s going to be a learning curve. You’re used to referring to them by one name and set of pronouns, and now they’re going by another name and set of pronouns. It’s an adjustment. But adjust, damn it. And don’t be a histrionic fuckass about it. If you mess up (which you probably will at first), just correct yourself and move on. If you do that, pretty soon it will be second nature to refer to them as the right name and pronouns.

3. I am not trans, so I am not an expert on the trans experience. But I do know they’re dealing with enough bullshit. Give them support, not more bullshit.

Transgender rights are human rights! I #StandWithGavin.

Radical Faeries