big boss bowser jr

what's the point in hooking up with older men if they can't even host? you're 43 with 2 roommates????

I feel like this will be me one day and this post would hurt my feelings, can we cancel op

hey um. I saw you reblogged a post from tumblr user wormgirlpenisballs. well she literally takes the lord's name in vain on a regular basis and my mom says she's an agent of the devil. could you kill her please

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😧

Y'all eat black eye peas on new years?

i got a freling

Oooooooh ooooooh

big enjoyer of shitty media that i would never recommend to people ever in my life

how r u gonna call them love handles and then try to convince ppl thats a bad thing. insane to me

tshirt that says BAD AT BEING A WOMAN on the front WORSE AT BEING A MAN on the back worn with shorts that say NEVERTHELESS STILL KICKING

They call me 007. 0 rizz 0 bitches 7 mental health diagnosises

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

isn't it funny that bloody mary was a sleepover horror story but now its an alcoholic drink. imagine in 12 years we have a new cocktail called the jeff the killer

lackluster is such a sick own like dude youre not even shiny at all

cramping so bad rn

I know a metrosexual doctor with access to prescriptions

why do you know so many metrosexuals

I'm progressive

her penis/cock/johnson/member is a wiimote she hasnt properly strapped to her arm. and sister. my ass is a flat screen tv

banger

I hate government programs in the US bc conservatives are always trying to dismantle them so the lefty byline is always like "these programs are vital and lifesaving and keep so many people from starving and being homeless, they're Very Good and you have a moral obligation to protect and defend them!" and the program is question is something called the National Anti Hunger Initiative or NAHI and it only applies to people who have $527 or less a month in Net Perforated Index-Subnet Income (NPISI) before taxes and housing costs and the program gives you a $99 a month voucher that reloads every 1/80th waxing moon that is only good for buying specific brands of gruel BUT you only get to take 200 breaths a day when you're on the program and for every breath over 200 you take they subtract one dollar from the vouchers you receive and you have to count and report your own breaths bc they don't have the funding to do that and if you misrepresent the amount of breaths you take that's Breath Fraud and there's a hotline you can call to report someone's Breath Fraud and you can be denied gruel vouchers for the rest of your life if youre accused of Breath Fraud. And you're just like. Not allowed to complain abt this bc apparently the only alternative to this is no one ever gets gruel vouchers