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@townharbinger
Im p excited because im getting back into spirituality in a NON-religious psychosis kind of way and im getting into it but not like a crazy person :’-)
Unfortunately for me, spirituality is almost like a trigger for me. If I try to be religious at all, I get manic about it and it gets bad. Glad to hear you're having a better go of it, though!
Ah im sorry to hear that :-(
The same was true for me before i got on the meds im currently on— theyre a real lifesaver :-O
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Im p excited because im getting back into spirituality in a NON-religious psychosis kind of way and im getting into it but not like a crazy person :’-)
Last night i had the strangest auditory hallucination. I was lying in bed at my parent’s house (im out of town for the 4th of July to visit :-) ) and they have this super loud fan in their guest room cause it gets really hit in there.
So im lying there listening to the fan, and all of a sudden i can hear music WITHIN the drone of the fan— i dont know how else to describe it.
At first it sounded like jazz trumpets and other brass instruments along with a bass, and then there was a very interesting marimba solo?????
It was super bizarre ive never experienced anything like it
Augh i’m so annoyed. I heard two voices so far this week saying my name. I havent heard voices in MONTHSSSSS 😫
I have been more stressed out lately so maybe thats why…
Hi, sorry i havent been posting on this blog very much. For the past couple of months my hallucinations and delusions have been really declining so i havent had much to blog about
But recently ive been seeing shadow people around corners and in my periphery. Its a little spooky! Ive also been feeling phantom touches, ghostly hands on my head and back again recently too.
I’ll update if anything else springs up :-)
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Im back with some hallucination shenanigans!
So the other day I was just chillin in my apartment with my cat and i saw the Boiled One in my room— the way i almost screamed 😭
And yesterday i saw a shadow person scuttle across my apartment and i was so surprised that I almost dropped my chicken nuggets
I havent heard voices in a hot minute but for the past two days ive heard them calling my name. So rude i was doing so well 😞
Sorry i havent posted in a hot minute, i lowkey forgot about this little blog. Whoops! Work has just been crazy for me and I’ve been getting back into some of my hobbies after a really bad depression cycle
In other news i got a cat. Her name is Pumpkin :-)
Delsuions are super weird for me. On one hand i know that theyre totally illogical and untrue; but on the other hand my mind wants to believe them so wholeheartedly
Like a delusion i have is that repeated numbers (like 111 or 777 etc.) are messages from the universe to me. And i work with numbers so seeing repeated ones isnt totally uncommon. Whenever i see them its like a switch is flipped in my brain where im like “this is meant for me!! I have to search the meaning of this number so i know what they’re trying to tell me!!”
This has gotten me in sticky situations in the past with friendships because i thought that the number meanings were like signs about those relationships and it was a whole ass mess.
So now whenever i get those urges i stamp them down like im playing whack-a-mole because i dont want to go through another phase of those delusions running my life
Hallucinated a litol spider crawling across my work desk. Come back friend! 😫
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Got home early from work today and i swear i saw a man’s head poking from around the corner in my bedroom and then quickly disappear around that corner. Scared the hell outta me, took my pink baseball bat and searched my bedroom just in case i wasn’t hallucinating, though luckily i was :’-)
Yesterday i was bringing in groceries and i saw what looked like a fake ghost scurrying into my bedroom.
By fake ghost i mean it looked like someone in a white sheet running into my room as i walked in the door. I obviously investigated and no one was actually in there (i live alone so it would be alarming if there was someone in there)
An embarrassing hallucination that i experience (at least in my opinion) is that i feel fake body parts, or phantom limbs sometimes.
They’re always the same, deer ears on top of my head along with small antlers and a tail. Im not a furry, or a therian, or anything like that, just to be clear (not that theres anything wrong with identifying with those lables).
From what i understand its an uncommon experience, but i can feel them move and react to sounds or my emotions when my brain feels like fabricating them. It can be overstimulating to say the least, especially when my other hallucinations interact with them. For example the tactile hallucinations i feel often touching me will grab at a phantom limbs and i can *feel it*. Its pretty disconcerting when it happens honestly. Sometimes its painful, but mostly it just feels tingly like tv static
One of my most common hallucinations is the feeling of hands touching me. It happens most often when im lying down and i’ll feel hands playing with my hair or resting on my back. It feels weird, like solid but also like tv static at the same time, so i can always tell its not real. I know a lot of the times hallucinations can be scary but these ones aren’t, theyre just kind of neutral
When i see posts on here a lot of the time people talk about their visual hallucinations so i thought id describe my tactile ones.
I have a similar hallucination sometimes, and it freaks me out. Glad it's neutral for you, but boy howdy I do not like it.
Im sorry to hear that you experience something similar and that its unpleasant— there are times when its overwhelming or intense for me too if im being honest
It initially freaked me out as a teenager but after years of it i just eventually got used to it. But yeah i didn’t like it at first either especially as someone who doesn’t like to be touched
I told my therapist about this blog today, and she said that she thinks its a great idea to talk about my schizophrenia experiences with other people and to connect with others more
I was a little afraid she would think its a bad idea but im glad that that wasn’t the case. Ive been really enjoying posting on here so far and checking out the blogs of people that drop likes, its been fun :-)
Not much has happened today and yesterday but i was pretty sick so maybe my brain is giving me a small break from hallucinating while i recover
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Visual hallucinations are kind of rare for me now due to medication, but while i was working with a patient, I saw what i call The Squiggle Monster ™️
It looks like a bunch of scribbles and it has large eyes and a wide smile. It usually clings to the ceiling and stares down at me while i go about my business
As soon as i got home from work i hallucinated a camera flashing in my face— very rude 0/10
This one has only happened once or twice before and it always plays into my paranoia of being watched / stalked, which i’ve actually been doing better with recently
