i am all there is to know.

i forget you long enough to dream about you. i’m haunted by the image you’ve traced along my brain sober up, text you remember why you’re untouchable a mirage but i’ll keep reaching for that green light in dreams in pieces.

look up you’ll see the stars calling you back calling you home the concrete has scuffed your feet you wish for something more neptune’s love knows no bounds so why waste the infinite?

separate the ocean i'm walking through to get my feet wet and my hands dirty give me a life outside this anything before it turns to nothing bleed it out our pulse is dying

in every space i breathe you're still tattooed even if i wear sleeves so no one sees--- you keep the same picture does that mean you've not changed since we last spoke? if you look down at your arm will we have the same heartbeat?

warrior, i've come to burn your kingdoms down. survivor, there are so few that are like me.

i forget how to breath under the masses but i'm running from the shore don't know if i'll come back it's a reprise of borrowed time and i can't stand to watch it

parasitic i know leeches as i've written right alongside their inked trails i didn't toe where the sand meets the ocean in so long; imagine the chaos if i decided to remember what's it's like to sing underwater.

blink twice keep it indecisive 'do you believe in fate?' he'll ask. 'i wait for stars.' i met the one once i don't remember his voice anymore

i am no good for the ones i have already lost while true, i still wait because a blink is better than the dark and i'm so afraid to flick the light switch so i'll stay a shadow, keep begging when I stitched my lips shut though i still try to sing that old familiar melody; rusted in my inflamed throat from screaming across tides. don't answer. i know me. it would be better without an answer.

i would be a liar if i said it hadn’t been on repeat and what i saw can’t be said because that’s another life another dream

i wear my blackest of veils as this is the end of the road where maybe i'll finally admit that fingers aren't enough they must remain twisted behind our backs, contorted, until the summer sun sets and we're consuming mud i'll shovel the tar, black and decaying, until my mouth is full and keeps me silent. remember when i thought my hand fit so nicely in the palm of my downfall? remember when i believed second chances were not laced with cyanide kool-aid hidden at the bottom of this drink keeping my fingers from trembling? it's my funeral.

sing to me  when the tide is high so i can drown again because i have forgotten what it's like to have lungs so full of water, blacked out, and a sweet prince greets me, the lost siren of the shore haunted by rocks lay wasted from songs she sang. my hair hasn't been wet so it's mangled in chaos and i wait to open my mouth; my vocal chords have been cut so all the world can hear are strangled cries rather than the silver lullabies we once brought you. i would beg you not to hate what i have become, but i think you already do.

i'll look over just in time an extended hand my way to hop over strategic puddles so we can dance on tip-toes and pretend we don't see that our phones light up one after another after-- these are names we won't say these are faces marked gray but we have trust. i've known that face for weeks i know the color scheme by heart point me to the date and i can parrot one forty, three sixty, my phone buzzes, afterthought, you're not dumb enough to think a back up plan isn't in place twelve, thirteen, six, relax-- we'll spend the night here we'll stay, lock eyes in fear but we have trust. the secret is out, blood gone black it's a screech in the night, honesty liquored silly in an ugly grimace because you may not have known but i have always had nightmares in the shimmer of that image a beacon attached to my paranoia-- but we keep marching on but we keep playing dumb do we have trust?

and i see you good christ, i see you but i don't squeeze your hand when you reach for mine even if it's mine, too, an extension i know the edge i tip toed along the roof where i was spellbound (i wrote it all for you) i jumped once. it's hard to climb those stairs again.

my toes have reached

i still keep

i picture you with a world in your eyes bring me that world in my eyes i cannot see