❛ and the worst part is, i don’t even have my holy water! ❜ 

❛ you escaped the clutches of yet another demon. ❜ 

❛ there may very well be a hot dog vendor in chicago who is a bigfoot. ❜     

❛ demons, you cowards! ❜ 

❛ this is like satan’s cement butt hole. ❜ 

❛ i think your douche meter is usually half mast but right now it’s about three quarters full. ❜ 

❛ i think a moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. ❜ 

❛ well the only way to really provoke them is to provoke them! ❜     

❛ i think the ground is cleaner than this couch. ❜ 

❛ holy shit, it’s a jacuzzi tub! ❜ 

❛ i stole them off a woman who died on the titanic! ❜ 

❛ no, no, no, you’re going to scare the ghosts away. ❜ 

❛ if i see people taller than me, i get concerned about them because i think they’re gonna die. . young. ❜ 

❛ jesus christ, do you always have to insult the ghosts at the place we’re at? ❜ 

❛ if george clooney was on the tonight show and you set him on fire, one of his feet would burn and the other one would probably still be planted there on the floor in a very nice shoe — clooney’s flammable. ❜ 

❛ i’ve always gotta’ think about stuff, y’know? like this mannequin in this tub, what’s he doing here? ❜ 

❛ hey demons, it’s me, ya’ boy. ❜ 

❛ it is a very old piece of footage, but so is die hard — still good. ❜ 

❛ so it was aliens? they showed up, gave ‘em ipads, gave ‘em a zune, built the pyramids, left, and that’s it? ❜ 

❛ stop telling the ghosts to follow me home. ❜ 

❛ oh so you’re going to make me sit in the shitty chair? ❜ 

❛ this guy has been inhaling too many cat shit fumes. ❜     

❛ i took an improv comedy class once, ‘cause i’m a white guy. ❜ 

❛ i just got startled by a disco ball. ❜ 

❛ maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. ❜ 

❛ just, to be fair, fuck christopher columbus. ❜ 

❛ i’m not doing this because i want to steal, i‘m doing this because i want to give the ghosts significant reason to haunt me. ❜ 

❛ hey ghouls! the boys are here. ❜ 

❛ i think everyone needs a hobby, and if you don’t have one, that’s when you’re probably gonna start killing people. ❜ 

❛ i wasn’t fat-shaming bigfoot! ❜         

❛ this is what happens when people are passive aggressive full-time. ❜ 

❛ ghost 101: one, knock book off shelf. week two, hold a candlestick in the middle of a hallway. three…sheets. ❜ 

❛ it looks like one of the conjuring films. ❜ 

❛ anytime you get uneasy, that’s me! ❜ 

❛ if there were a town full of me in the puritan times, we’d have landed on the moon in 1790. ❜ 

❛ we’re just two guys sitting in a tub. ❜ 

❛ demons! you’re not trying hard enough — plunge us into darkness! ❜     

❛ you gotta’ fuckin’ calm down, man. ❜ 

❛ why is it someone who chokes on a peanut doesn’t get a ghost? ❜ 

❛ i think it’s a little bit more fun to believe that humans are capable of some truly horrific things. ❜ 

❛ i’m exposing my cranium to you. ❜     

❛ there’s a good chance tonight is the night you see me die on camera. ❜ 

❛ shadows do tend to follow you though, that’s how they work. ❜ 

❛ this is gonna get a little morbid, but who’s to say that a burning body doesn’t smell like barbecue? ❜ 

❛ i didn’t even get to do all the things on my bucket list. ❜ 

❛ i don’t wanna be a ghost hunter, this is all bullshit! ❜ 

❛ you keep tricking me into talking to them, you fuckin’ dickhead! ❜ 

❛ spooky, huh? ❜ 

❛ is it very european to — to burst into flames? ❜ 

❛ and i guess this is where we’re fuckin’ sleeping because we’re idiots. ❜ 

ONLY IF FOR A NIGHT

“you told me i should concentrate.”

“the only solution was to stand and fight.”

“you’re the only light.”

SHAKE IT OUT

“i like to keep some things to myself.”

“it’s always darkest before the dawn.”

“i’ve been a fool and i’ve been blind.”

“i’m damned if i do and i’m damned if i don’t.”

“why the hell did i let it happen to me?”

WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME

“oh my love, don’t forsake me.”

“the world’s a beast of a burden.”

“would you have it any other way?”

NEVER LET ME GO

“it’s the only way i can escape.”

“i’m not giving up, i’m just giving in.”

BREAKING DOWN

“it was always there, you see.”

“can you see it coming now?”

“i’ve always known there was something to be frightened of.”

“i think i’m breaking down again.”

LOVER TO LOVER

“i’ve been losing sleep.”

“there’s no salvation for me now.”

“i’ve been keeping secrets.”

NO LIGHT NO LIGHT

“you’re my head and you’re my heart.”

“you can’t choose what stays and what fades away.”

“i’d do anything to make you stay.”

“would you leave me if i told you what i’ve become?”

“tell me what you want me to say.”

SEVEN DEVILS

“a thousand armies couldn’t keep me out.”

“i don’t want your money.”

“i don’t want your crown.”

“see, i’ve come to burn your kingdom down.”

“i’ll be dead before the day is done.”

“what has been done cannot be undone.”

HEARTLINES

“keep it up, i know you can.”

“your heart is the only place that i call home.”

SPECTRUM

“say my name.”

“we will never be afraid again.”

ALL THIS AND HEAVEN TOO

“i can’t seem to understand it.”

“i would give it all if only for a moment.”

“it never makes sense to me at all.”

“all of my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling.”

LEAVE MY BODY

“i don’t care whether i live or die.”

“i’m gonna lose my mind.”

“i don’t want your future.”

REMAIN NAMELESS

“i still remain the same.”

“you can call me anything you want.”

“everybody lets you down.”

“tell me what you’re running from.”

“darling, believe me.”

STRANGENESS AND CHARM

“they yearn for each other.”

“what’s the matter with me, love?”

BEDROOM HYMNS

“i’m already on my knees.”

“i can’t get enough.”

“i did this for you.”

“i’m not here looking for absolution.”

LANDSCAPE

“it’s just an empty place.”

“she wants to be alone and together with you.”

“it’s running in the family.”

BREATH OF LIFE

“i need one more touch.”

“whose side am i on?”

“we should be together.”

numbers: ( 1 - 470 ) link to generator: here content: Marianas Trench Lyrics (contains some harsh language and nsfwish themes ) (change pronouns as needed.)

Thousand armies                               couldn’t                                             keep me out

I don’t want                         your money

I don’t want                        your crown

❜  the light is different out here. it’s softer.  ❜

❜  so we’re the addams family now.  ❜

❜  that girl is a monster.  ❜

❜  jesus h. christ.  ❜

❜  can i ask you a personal question?  ❜

❜  don’t make me kill you again.  ❜

❜  is there anything more wonderful than the promise of a new child… or more heartbreaking when that promise is broken?  ❜

❜  i’m trying very hard not to judge you.  ❜

❜  but i was never unfaithful.  ❜

❜  i’m not usually much of a cupcake girl myself…  ❜

❜  i’d kill to live in this house, regardless of the history!  ❜

❜  i don’t want to be here anymore!  ❜

❜  try to find some dignity in the situation.  ❜

❜  every time I find my heart breaking just a sliver for you, i suddenly remember. you made this mess for yourself.  ❜

❜  i’m not naive to the ways of men.  ❜

❜  you say we were victims of something bad there. i say that’s the place where we survived.  ❜

❜  i am trying here!  ❜

❜  everybody thinks they have style, and everybody thinks they’re funny. most people aren’t.  ❜

❜  i think you should just leave.  ❜

❜  the one thing about the dead is they’ve got nothing left to lose.  ❜

❜  you hear me? i will kill you.  ❜

❜   screw high school. that’s… it’s just a blip in your timeline. don’t get stuck there.  ❜

❜  we need the money.  ❜

❜  i’m finding it really hard to look at your face. cause i really, really, really want to bash it in.  ❜

❜  but i’m not going to be your friend. i will merely tolerate you.  ❜

❜  why are you bullshitting me?!?  ❜

❜  sometimes shit just happens.  ❜ 

❜  the dead can hold a grudge better than most scorpios.  ❜

❜  fags have such a great eye for detail, don’t they?  ❜

❜  i’m going to have a little glass of this chardonnay.  ❜

❜  as you can see, this room belongs to a sad, depressed teenager.  ❜

❜  why are you being such an asshole?  ❜

❜  this turns you on. i know it does.  ❜

❜  depressing sex is even more depressing when you try so hard.  ❜

❜  did it hurt? the first time usually does.  ❜

❜  they’re just trying to scare you.  ❜

❜  i’m open to suggestions.  ❜

❜  i think i have mommy issues. you know a good therapist?  ❜

❜  you’re kidding me. i thought you said you hated her.  ❜

❜  i have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.  ❜

❜  as big as this place is, it does get very lonely.  ❜

❜  watch it, you goddamned queen!  ❜

❜  what are you gonna do? murder me?  ❜

❜  we’ll make excellent parents.  ❜

❜  seriously, though, are you ready for all this? i mean, you never struck me as the diapers and midnight feedings type.  ❜

❜  he’s the most beautiful baby i’ve ever seen.  ❜

❜  from blood and pain come perfection.  ❜

❜  my mom is dead.  ❜

❜  why would i do that?  ❜

❜  i used to think you were like me.  ❜

❜  you are the darkness.  ❜

❜  you are the only light i’ve ever known.  ❜

❜  you have to pay for what you did! all the pain you’ve caused, all the sorrows.  ❜ 

❜  i can’t be with you, i won’t be with you.  ❜

❜  go away!  ❜

❜  are you sure you want to be alone? they say this house is haunted.  ❜

❜  you’re kind of twisted, aren’t you?  ❜

❜  you’re charismatic and compelling and a pathological liar.  ❜

❜  ever since I was a little girl, I knew I was destined for great things.  ❜

“It’s just a scratch. You worry too much.”

“Ah… ! Don’t press there!”

“Just put a bandage on it and I’ll be fine.”

“That looks bad. Really bad.”

“Try not to look at it.”

“That hurts!”

“You’re going to need bedrest for at least a few days.”

“I’m going to be stuck in bed for how long?”

“That’s nothing, you big baby.”

“Here, let me help. I’m good at this sort of thing.”

“I can’t feel it. That’s bad, right?”

“Can you move?”

“How can something so small hurt so much?”

“It looks a lot worse than it is.”

“You’re a terrible patient.”

“Will you hold still? I can’t do anything if you keep squirming.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen skin turn that color before.”

“It’s just another a war trophy.”

“Shut up and let me help you.”

“I don’t care how tough you are. You can’t ignore that.”