Yeah I’m just on here for a second because this is more my diary than anything resembling a blog.
I don’t know where I am in life right now. I’m in a gap year before college, I turn 19 in a little over a month, I graduated high school with good grades, I got not only my first degree but also my second degree black belt. But I’m horribly depressed. More than I have been in a long time, actually. I don’t want to do anything, and all my friends have gone or are constantly busy. I saw my old cosplay partner for the first time in a year recently (which was great), but I’ve barely seen my best friend, and my rivals moved away. The idea of moving to Hawaii is simultaneously exciting, because I love my family over there and places like Pearl City and Honolulu have been some of the places I can count on, but I’m also terrified. I only know family over there, no one else, and the idea of living on my own feels like being thrown into water, even worse since it’s an island. Right now all I’m doing is karate, but how much I’m doing it isn't what I regret. Karate has been the best thing in my life, and the choice to go through everything to get my black belt has been the best choice I’ve made. I love the black belts, I love being a black belt, I love the material, I love all of it. But I feel like I’m not doing anything with my life other than that.
