tonari

And there are a bunch of reasons for that which I won’t be talking about in dept. Had a thought this afternoon about how I’m going through a unique period in life which will never ever be repeated ever (you’re only 21 once, for example), so I thought it’d be interesting and kind of beautiful in a way to write down this particular phase of my life, in a sense freezing it in time forever so it won’t be forgotten.

I haven’t been doing that well in a while. For the past 3+ weeks I’ve pretty much been sitting in the living room in my jammies, switching between playing loads of Overwatch, napping and watching tv. Resting has been a battle for nearly 2 years. I’m sleepy and groggy all the time. I’ve lost most of my motivation for the things that I used to get excited over. Even drawing isn’t as enticing and fun as it used to. I pretty much don’t exercise at all now because I don’t have the drive and energy.

Some days I feel completely powerless and miserable, some days I’m just lazy and kind of passive, and other days I feel okay and hopeful. It is usually when I get to hang out with friends or play games with my bros that I feel most at ease, so there is something for me to appreciate and feel happy about at the end of the day, and that gets me going.

I’m going through the motions as I am able to while awaiting a cure or treatment for this. I never thought this would be how I’d be living my “wild” early 20′s honestly, the so called “best years of my life” have been extremely bittersweet so far, but I manage to keep my head up still, and I hope you do, too.