[five minutes of laughter] [unskippable]

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

Someone was just setting the table for Christmas lunch when they took half a minute to lay out this vocabulary-changing bsky post, then carried on with their day...

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

your boyfriend isn't thematically significant

I do have one "hear me out" I think the majority of tumblr would be repulsed by. It's kind of cheating though. It's not sincere and it feels like I would be breaking some kind of social contract. But it would work, I have no doubt about that