[five minutes of laughter] [unskippable]

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Whatever the Hell This Thing Is

The Sybian that broke the West's pelvis.

instead of either having a server be muted or unmuted discord should introduce a setting called special princess mode where the server is muted except ☝🏽 for one person that is your special princess and the emoji0oo990op09iop09i8o09i8op09iolp-09op-0opyujiko8o9i8ukol9iukolp9i8uki sorry. i got a drop of oil on my keyboard bc i was eating hummus with a little bit of olive oil earlier and i was cleaning that off. anyway and the notification icon is a heart. and they have to to call it that.

Unfortunately everyone was right that exercise is good for you the ableds just kept leaving out the part where it's not supposed to Actually Hurt You

And they'll tell you it's supposed to hurt but they're lying. When ableds talk about "feel the burn 🔥💯💪" they mean the mild discomfort of engaging your muscles. Able bodied people don't know what pain is never forget the ableds don't know what pain is

Like they either mean mild discomfort or they're peddling eating disorders. And these are both Lying To You

@tlirsgender - FUCK YOU For saying that me, or anyone else here on Tumblr, don't know what pain is – you transfuck abomination freak!!! You have absolutely no idea what kind of pain any of us have ever been through, so take your piece of shit pronouns and stick them up you're gay godforsaken ass, you help spawn motherfucker!!!!

Sorry I'm just so obsessed with this random chud hearing me (transfuck abomination freak) say able bodied people don't know what pain is & getting his little man feelings so hurt he just delivered us a new copypasta. Because I (help spawn motherfucker) emasculated him while having pronouns (shoving them up my gay godforsaken ass rn)

Queer people do not need to get into norse gods, queer people need dialectical materialism.

To be entirely honest I find the idea that queer people need spirituality at all quite insulting, and the unfortunately widespread insistence that there's some metaphysical spiritual element to queerness is rather counterproductive and (to put it bluntly) really fucking annoying.

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary