Stuff and Nonsense

A pardon you say?! That’ll cost you some hefty bitcoin-whatever that is! This is overdue – like most of our bill payments – but it’s time to remember the author’s decision to leave out the fifth ghost in his Christmas tale, leaving only Marley plus Past, Present and Future.  Originally the Ghost of Christmas Pissed shows up just before Jacob Marley. The Ghost of Christmas Pissed was just…

Once again the orange guy has asserted his life-long dream of becoming a farmer.  His November 2025 outburst – addressing a woman reporter who asked a serious question by saying, “Quiet, Piggy” proves it yet again. As any real farmer knows, you actually call real pigs with a sharp – SOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEE-PIG-PIG-PIG-SOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE. Of course the orange guy does know something about…

Okay, sure, Polish millionaire Piotr Szczerek is definitely a jerk for stealing a kid’s star-autographed hat at the US Open. But let’s put it in some context. When tennis star Kamal Majchrak tried to give a hat to a young kid, Piotr snatched it from his little fingers.   Piotr had the good sense to apologize… eventually. It’s possible he only apologized because he was embarrassed and didn’t want…

When Ye — the artist formerly known as Kanye West — paid for a  Super Bowl ad that directed viewers to his website we thought he might be following the example of Prince and changing his name to a symbol.  Then we went to the site where a Ye T-Shirt featuring a swastika was being sold.   Ye says he’s doing this to help pay for his new teeth.  If Ye wants to change his identity to a swastika we…

Why did President Trump pardon 1,500 January 6th insurrectionists? Simple. The leader of the Oaf Keepers sent a nice note to the spouses of police officers who gave their lives or were injured protecting the Capitol. The note says, “We’re real sorry we busted stuff and punched some guys. We promise to never do it again unless we get drunked up again and feel just plain ornery.” And the guy…

Go ahead, throw the book(s) at him This Nebraska State Senator crossed a couple of lines when he included the names of two other senators while reading passages from a book depicting sexual assault. Even some of his fellow Republicans were calling for him to resign or face censure. Others simply want to ban him from banning books. But we’re in a helpful mood today and we’re giving Senator…

Friend or foe? It' s all the same in Russia.

As Russians celebrate the 305th anniversary of Peter the Great murdering his own son, Tsarevich Alexi Petrovich, it’s time to watch another episode of The Russia Show. Peter the Great didn’t trust his own son, who he nicknamed “That god damn treacherous son-of-a-bitch.” Peter’s behavior fits right into the template for a thousand years of ghastly behavior by rulers who show more concern for their…

Stay Classy, Stooges

 We’ve been busy taking out the trash, shoveling snow, doing laundry, drinking heavily…    You know, important stuff.  But we’ve finally stumbled on something that piqued our interest in a world that already harbors too many Despicable Jerks.  Let’s call them the Three Stooges of modern television. Or perhaps just Three Media Idiots. First is NBCUniversal’s CEO Jeff Shell who was tossed out of…

People we wish would just go away. Merry Christmas

These are ten jerks in no particular order with varied misdeeds on their record that come from almost innocent to truly vile, all randomly selected to attend the annual holiday gathering of jerks to let them feed on each other’s egos, destructive acts and general “assholery.” They come from the enormous list of known Jerks and the vast crop that no one has bothered to identify because it is just…

The new Dorian Grey?

This incredible jackass has obviously kidnapped the REAL Elon Musk and is holding him – possibly for Bitcoin ransom – depriving Corporate America of one of its few true heroes.  The REAL Elon Musk gave us the first classy, mass-produced electric cars.  He set us on course to transform public transportation by building a prototype underground high-speed transport capsule. He launched one of his…

The Donald….DUCK!

After helping Republicans snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in many 2022 mid-term elections The Donald promises to sink even more candidates by running for president – for the third time. When someone is drowning, the phrase “going down for the third time” is never good news. Aren’t elephants endangered enough in these tragic days of modern times?  The GOP suddenly has that sinking feeling

What could Kanye West and Alex Jones possibly have in common, except of course being Despicable Jerks? Ye – formerly known as Kanye West, formerly known as Mr. Kim Kardashian, has come up with a T-Shirt that says “White Lives Matter.” Well of course they do, but why would an African American guy not say “Black Lives Matter,” or “All Lives Matter” or simply shut up. Hard to say since he is buddies…

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

The Covid plague has summoned a curse more virulent and dangerous than the little bugs that caused the original plague. Our crack team of scientists has placed our “Jerk” label on what they have identified as Covid’s Banshee Variant. It has reduced some otherwise thoughtful and generous folks into raving lunatics. Consider the trucking blockade spreading out of Ottawa. Truckers have been hailed…

No one was more surprised than Marjorie Taylor Greene whenTwitter suspended her account faster than one of her trademarked Jewish Space Lasers. So we checked with QAnon to find out what was behind this move.  Simple.  Twitter members since the first American Civil War have had the same treatment — always identifying suspension targets by their traditionally villainous three word names. It started…

This will bring back cart service!

Perhaps it’s time to give up and admit traveling in jetliners is a transportation form that has been conquered by stupid people. “Fights on Flights” is our trademarked suggestion for an idea that might be a boon to the airlines as they combine the excitement of professional wrestling with the growing number of angry passengers who now take out their rage on innocent flight attendants. Spectators…

Lex Luthor or Zippy the Pinhead? The jury is still out. Nebraska’s only governor whose name is a disease has done the impossible – forced the state’s local daily into featuring an anti-Ricketts editorial.  The headline: “Nebraskans shouldn’t have to pay for political showboating on Texas border.”  The point?  Why should Nebraska taxpayers fund their homestate troopers to help Texas pretend to…