*spurts goo*

doctor has prescribed me a wank and a nap

remembering how much i disliked the ending of stargaze i actually think i can trace back all my problems this year to that

severe lack of drive bc my job is seriously unfulfilling and doesnt seem to be taking me anywhere and i dont seem to be getting much luck w looking elsewhere but also bc its sucking so much time and energy for hobbies and then not doing hobbies to emotionally regulate is giving me a severe lack of drive to do anything really

artists when burnout is like actual proper legit for real burnout and not just a couple weeks of creative block 😨

ive kinda been sketching and doodling all afternoon and its really hit me like a bus how rusty i am with art now, i just really really struggle w being creative these days

i want vamery yearning to hurt both of them, i want meryl and vash to unintentionally hurt eachother. i want meryl to cling silently and evade eye contact and hide all of her tears, i want vash to feel guilty about the fact its his fault she does that and curse himself for already planning his exit, i want them to share a bed without sleeping, just holding eachother, drinking in eachothers features, their smell, their breathing patterns. i want them to act like it never happened come morning despite their desperation to just lay together a bit longer