The Other Captain Planet

Last night I decided to visit with my friend who lived a long way off from where I lived. We hadn't seen each other for years and I thought that it would definitely be worth the trip to reconnect with people I still loved. I ended up staying later than I originally intended because the discussion we had was far more important and interesting than any hour of the night I decided to leave. With no ride of my own, I had to walk back just about 4 miles in the dark. The moon had just entered into its next phase after the full and so the light was enough to see just above the road 10 feet in front of me which allowed me to see and additional 40 ahead using my peripherals. Before I left I tied my black jacket around my waist exposing my white shirt so oncoming vehicles would be better able to distinguish a figure walking in the dark. I recited the Shepherd's Prayer and continued my journey with only the waxing moon, scattered lamp posts and the occasional car that would pierce the night of the valley's shadow as my guide. All the while with thoughts of my warm bed as my lighthouse; my beacon. The walk would actually feel more like 8 miles because of my steady, unwavering pace, which was more like a march rather than a stroll, and the shifting terrain. Some would think that it would be the worst part of my night; to have to walk that distance in pale moon light; but in fact, I found it rather exhilarating and fresh. I believe the worst part of my day was the 10 seconds I took contemplating on whether or not going was a good idea.

I had made this journey several time in my youth, when all I had to worry about was living my life right and loving the ones I held close. Those were simpler times.  As I marched on in the darkness I thought of the hill that I soon had to climb which marked the half way point of my journey and also a change in terrain that would make the journey considerably easier to manage. After all, for the last 30 minutes I was alone with the darkness but not being fearful. I embraced it and took solace in the fact that this was the same road I walked several times in the day and the fact that it was dark was a mere inconvenience. It's interesting how the same roads we walk in our own lives can appear to be darker than they really are. I soon reached the base of the hill and at its mouth had a sign that read "20 degree Incline". By this time the steep, dark, treacherous road over the valley's ridge that I had always known, through infrastructural development over the years, was now only a steep one. The road was newly paved, with several street lamps that lined and illuminated the sides now lined with guard rails. Still remembering the fear it invoked in me as a young boy,  I tightened my black jacket, and began my climb. Along the way several vehicles passed and I waved them each down hoping that a samaritan would stop and help in my night's challenge. Each ride politely honked their horns and passed by as if to say that this was a challenge only I alone could bear and I would soon find relief at the hills crest. Not discouraged in any way, I continued up the steep incline and soon I was at the brow of the hill. Imagine my delight as I made those final steps to the top and the relief that it would be all down hill from here, as they say. I began to walk down the hill at 12 am in a community I was familiar enough with because I had passed there several times making that same journey. I started to take notice of how beautiful the houses looked in the night. It all came as a surprise to me because I made that journey several times but never thought to take a look at what was around me all these years. My pace slowed and my stride shortened. I gazed at each house as I passed by, taking notice of the architecture, which was prevalent in that region of the world, and how the lighting accentuated its size and each architects own personal style. It was a Treat! It was at that moment I thought of you... Oh how excited you would be to see such things. Surely you have never seen anything like this and I am certain you would enjoy it as much as I am enjoying them right now. We could take the same walk, climb the same steep hill, and feel the same sense of accomplishment and satisfaction of gazing on these beautiful houses as our reward. We would stop at each house and take a picture so we would never forget this moment and how beautiful it was because we were able to share it with each other. 

What do you think about Instagram's new Privacy policies? I've read those several times as well as that of Facebook. If you don’t know what I am speaking of; Extort-Insta-gram wants you to sign away your rights to your pictures so they can use them for their own use, with no compensation to you the content provider.

In the Terms Of use they categorically say that they do not technically OWN the content but by agreeing to the terms you give them a "non-exclusive, fully paid and royalty-free, transferable, sub-licensable, worldwide license to use the Content that you post on or through the Service"

  1.      Instagram does not claim ownership of any Content that you post on or through the Service. Instead, you hereby grant to Instagram a non-exclusive, fully paid and royalty-free, transferable, sub-licensable, worldwide license to use the Content that you post on or through the Service, except that you can control who can view certain of your Content and activities on the Service as described in the Service's Privacy Policy" 

It goes on to say:

  2.      Some or all of the Service may be supported by advertising revenue. To help us deliver interesting paid or sponsored content or promotions, you agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you. If you are under the age of eighteen (18), or under any other applicable age of majority, you represent that at least one of your parents or legal guardians has also agreed to this provision (and the use of your name, likeness, username, and/or photos (along with any associated metadata)) on your behalf.

3.      You acknowledge that we may not always identify paid services, sponsored content, or commercial communications as such.

  The Privacy Policy continues to affirm this precedence. In it they state that they can use your information in only specific ways which just happens to include but is not limited to; marketing efforts. Take a look at the 2 bold and underlined excerpts from the Policy as it relates to (1) what information they receive and (2) how they share it.

   We receive information that:

you provide when you register for and set up an account

you post or content you share on Instagram

you allow us to collect when you use certain Instagram features

you allow social media services to share with us

we get from seeing how you use Instagram

we get from communicating with you

we get from cookies and other technology

We use this information to:

provide Instagram features and services to you

manage and improve the Instagram website, app and services

analyze how you use Instagram

provide you with information

diagnose technical problems and maintain security

provide you with marketing that is relevant to you

  So what does this all mean for you in a nutshell? Well according to an NY Times blog:

Instagram can share information about its users with Facebook, its parent company, as well as outside affiliates and advertisers. 

You could star in an advertisement — without your knowledge. 

Underage users are not exempt.

Ads may not be labeled as ads.

Want to opt out? Delete your account. 

This is far from amusing and although technically the information that you choose to share becomes their property, how they choose to use it, however, is protected by federal Laws.

  I was, however, amused by one blogger's interpretation of this legalese and PR speak of the specific section on the use of your content as they "monetize" their service:

Dear Users:

You are not our customers, you are the cattle we drive to market and auction off to the highest bidder. Enjoy your feed and keep producing the milk. And keep telling us everywhere you go and what you see there. We'll do the rest. If we ever feel like pretending to listen to you, we'll let you know. Your convenience and experience using the service that we built with our investor's money is not something we value above and beyond our ability to manipulate it to encourage you to do the things we and our sponsors want you to do. So, shut up about not being able to easily view our content on services built by other investors—And it is our content, not your content. Your content is stored on your server that you pay for with your money. That is all.

Caribfest: In review.

  OK a lot of people have been asking for this review because of what they thought was a less than perfect Caribfest 2012. I will say straight off the bat that I will not be “bashing” anyone person or group but merely stating the facts as I saw them or as they were relayed to me. Don’t be confused, this is not a disclaimer because in my world I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I just don’t want more “fakers” coming out of the wood work telling me how evil I am just because I didn’t like some decorations -__-. And if by chance you do lash out at me or my opinion with your slanderous talk you shall be swiftly blocked and deleted like a few last year. Their names escape me but who cares…Lets proceed.

I understand that Caribfest is a HUGE undertaking and is a true trial by fire for the new executive, Caribfest Committee and everyone involved. Every year we have something to bitch about but don’t feel any way. I have been on that side of the table twice in my short stint here and no one was merciful on me… so in TRUE CSO tradition let us proceed…

Now, as I descend from my proverbial high horse I will be touching on a few major things: the general planning and execution, the events leading up to the parade day, the day itself, and Food.

            Planning and execution

You know sometime in the early summer when I approached the Chair about Caribfest and what was going on, it was only because I was generally concerned and wanted to offer my help. I felt like I was in a better position to help the organization get the Caribfest message out into the community. After all, it’s a GREAT product. She told me about what they had planned, most of which were still in the pipelines, but I could still appreciate the ambitious effort. The inclusion of a Miss Caribfest pageant was of special interest to me and many other people. Now as time went on less and less information was being circulated and requested. Maybe they felt like they wanted to spring this brand new thing on us and blow us away. Well let me tell you…blown away I was not.

Being the person I am I know people that know people. Just through talking to different people and other people talking to me I felt like I knew more than the entire organization. This was the committee’s first down fall. The failure to communicate their plans left a lot of people with a sour taste in their mouth and unwilling to participate. From what I gathered, little information about tradition, what was done previous years, successes and failures was given or requested and many things were left up to the eleventh hour to do. It really didn’t help that the majority of the committee never really experienced a Caribfest from the other end. They never saw early midsummer messages to rally flag wavers, or sat in a meeting debating if we should buy goat because Americans don’t like goat almost months in advance. They probably never sat in a Caribfest presentation where budgets were in and accounted for. It certainly didn’t help that people wanted to, according to one person, “reach across the room and strangle Fidel for her condescending tone”. No disrespect to the newbies on this committee, but you all definitely need an attitude adjustment if you all want to appeal to a wider selection of CSOnians. Then again it’s not your fault either, you are who you are. I give fault to the past executive for forming such a green team with no one that appealed to everyone or had the political and social sway to get everyone involved. It was apparent that the committee and its pull was a bit “one sided”.

Talks about dictatorships started to fly around as they begged for the reins to be released. Well we all know what happened after that. The only well planned thing I saw, was the Miss Caribfest pageant. Everything else was kind of just thrown together. Yes it pulled off, but far from what it could be or the image that was presented to the general membership.  Everyone wants to do something different to make that Caribfest memorable I get that. But when it borders on reinventing the wheel I give you wrong. The Caribfest pageant was more than enough and I am afraid you all bit off more than you could chew. If more energy was focused on incremental upgrades rather than a full over haul maybe it would have come out better. As I move into the next section, here are some take away points: Condescension does not encourage participation and less is sometimes more.

NB: FYI: Caribbean Life has never been approached by any committee (except social) to help in, assist, or formulate any strategy for the promotion of Caribfest or its preceding events. In fact, I was disregarded after I OFFERED formal help. Caribbean Life has been working on their own time to put out a quality product to promote their brand. This means; no Madame co-chair those promotional efforts were not yours to claim.

  Events leading up to the Day

I am not going to talk about all the “parties” that went on in the name of Caribfest as to me they did little to spotlight the event, culture, or promote the event to anyone outside the regular. I will say, however, that there was a marked increase in the number of Wichita falls locals and students in these parties as the committee tried to use their own network to get enthusiasm up.

What I do want to talk about is The Caribfest launch and The Miss Caribfest 2012 pageant. I LOVED the costumes and to think that CSOnians made them is simply wonderful. We have some really talented persons in our organization that is for sure. I lived near the mass camp and every night they worked tirelessly. Although I initially thought the cost of a costume was WAY too expensive ($20) I could see the quality and value in the work. I even had a friend email me from Dominica to find out if I could send her a few. Good Job! Colette, your weavings have always been on point and you are a very creative individual. I just hope that you stuck to the “no shirts on Thursday night” rule and no one stressed you out. We all know how last minute we Caribbean people can be. Shizzy Bee Gumbs thanks for picking up the slack and volunteering your night to make sure iron band had nice cut t shirts.

The atmosphere however was not energetic and for such an exciting event was kind of dull. The bar was set really high by the last Caribfest committee and the present failed to rise to the occasion. It was essentially a come see the costumes we made and less of a SHOW. Once again improper planning and vision undermined the entire thing. Thank God it pulled off! Big up all the models that came out on the catwalk. The room was a lot livelier whenever you all stepped out. I would also like to send a personal thank you to Heather, Leona, and Iscanyi for donating your time to the Caribfest Photo shoot. It was a great event with great models but was lacking the “WOW” factor.

From day 1 I have told everyone… “Miss Caribfest will save Caribfest 2012”. That was the BEST part of Caribfest hands down! Well thought out, well organized. There are a few things here and there that could have been done differently but I refuse to nitpick as it is the VERY FIRST one. It will get better in time. Good job Committee for conceptualizing it and great job Fatisha for seeing that it was executed properly. IMO: I thought Tiffany did not deserve miss photogenic BUT she should have won the Swimsuit section. Other than that great judging.

  Caribfest day

With the weeks of little information and last minute decision making the day was not highly anticipated. Well maybe it was but for the wrong reasons. Yes people were there, yes there was music and food but the day in general was a bust. SKANTIEST parade I have ever seen in my four years. But I don’t blame the committee for that I blame the membership! How do you expect to have a Caribfest parade with more Americans than Caribbean people?! Yes, you want to strangle Fidel for her condescension but magway-sa put some paint on you and go jump up in the band. Why do you want to see YOUR culture on display? I also give wrong to the exec. How can you tell a band they are prohibited to go on the road and then turn back and say OK you can go? So peoples time is your own? Honestly that band would have SAVED CARIBFEST PARADE! And the budgets, or lack there of was inexcusable. No amount of bullshitting can cover that up Mr. Ass. Treasurer. I cannot even blame it on experience because there are several past presidents, executive members and Caribfest chairs and co chairs that could have been consulted when making decisions. The parade is not even the committee’s fault is everybody else’s fault. If members had joined a band and stopped complaining about everything, maybe the parade would have been better. We also saw the exclusion of "faces of the Caribbean", "flag wavers" and "Jab Jab" this year.(iron band / blue devils did not count as JAB)

An American that has been going to Caribfest since 2006 told me that that was the saddest parade he had ever seen in his college life. And I didn’t even ask for his opinion. You know things are when people start to elect information. The longer route, although it was a good thought, combined with the late start and cold weather REALLY messed it up. Some people actually left before the food even came out! This is the first time I have EVER seen empty chairs in a culture show. CSOnians usually have to get up for Americans to sit.

As it relates to the decorations and culture show all I saw was “Island girls” dancing. I don’t think there was even a culture show. No little limbo in the end…that burn me. Well maybe they did but I left before everything was done.

I will not comment on the food because everybody cooks differently. I won’t say the curried chicken wasn’t curried-chickeny enough or the cook up wasn’t nice because my mom puts codfish in it. It was really stressful for the ladies in the kitchen and being back their helping, I saw that first hand. Nicoyah, Alyssa, Renisha, Hilda, Orisia and everyone else I don’t know by name; good effort. I think the Caribfest would have been a lot worse if there was no food. I WILL say, however, that the codfish was VERY salty…WOY MY PRESSURE….! Glow fete was just OK, although I didn’t feel Jime too much. I heard he made up for it in the clubhouse at black out though.

All in all I have very low marks for the day itself. Just that it pulled off at all was a huge success in itself. I know some were working against the clock and against budgets but we have all been through it so toughen up. No one said it would be easy. Who was there enjoyed it I hope but I know for sure I was not impressed.

The 3 pillars to success: The 3 D’s

This year 2012 I will be 26 years of age and that may seem young to you 30-somethings out there but I feel like I’m advancing in my years, rather reluctantly. The only consolation to my less than enthusiastic long walk to my midlife crisis is that I have been able to reason with myself and other like-minded individuals as to the true meaning of success.

Success is a long winding road that looks a lot like failure. One for this is because, it IS; well half of it anyway. The other half is being able to see beyond failure and see how all the puzzle pieces (failures) fit together. This is where a lot of the people I talk to get stuck. This blog post is to help you get over that hump and remove your hand from in front of your face. Most times we only see that which is five minutes in front our face and forestall our greater riches in the future. After a lot of examination I have erected 3 Pillars that will guarantee your success. Please note that if you are not specific in what you want and are not willing to do the work necessary to achieve it, these pillars are not for you.

"Success is not without its failures…"

  Desire

You cannot achieve anything if you don’t know what it is you want. That just makes sense. This goes far beyond saying “I want to be rich” or “I want a brand new car”.  I’m not saying that those examples are not worthy of being desired, but it has to be accompanied by ACTION. Action separates goals from daydreams, the ability to put thought into action and walk that walk. Everybody wants something different. It is not what you want, how big or small, that makes it attainable. It is how badly you want it and what you are willing to do to make sure it happens.

Drive

This is the fuel that keeps you motivated. This is the unrelenting passion to see what you want materialize. It is ACTION in motion. Here is a classic example. A young girl looks at herself in the mirror and is not pleased with her body. She has to wear a swim suit soon and she wants her body looking good. She identifies the problem area and then proceeds to work out that particular area. The desire to look good in her bathing suit drives her to start working out and in the end she is pleased with the results. On the other hand, how many people do you know that make statements like these and then do nothing about it as though complaining is a new revolutionary diet? Are you guilty of this?

Determination

Never give up! Did you think getting what you want would be easy? If being successful was easy then it wouldn't be called success. It would be called mediocre which requires little to no effort what so ever. So what is it that you really want? Do you want to stand out and be the person you always wanted to be? Or will you give up and settle with being that face in the crowd? We are all equal right? WRONG! Just like the above example, the young lady’s determination is what kept her drive up. A man once told me at the bar while taking a second shot; “A man cannot stand up on one leg”. Drive and determination feed each other and provide the fuel needed to reach the finish line.

We all have an internal need to belong; whether it is to a specific group or just in general. Everyone wants to be able to feel secure in the fact that they are not alone. The defining question, however, is which group do you want to belong to? Do you want to be a part of the mediocre many or the successful few? And mind you, you cannot have both.

“Those of us who are called to lead have a responsibility to make things happen”

"If you want change, you have to be willing to do strange things". Nyron Telemaque 

This is pretty much self explanatory. But just in case it flew over your head let me break it down for you very quickly. You cannot get what you want if you continue doing the same things. Step out of your comfort zone and create new comfort zones where there was only uncertainty. If change did not require strange things  then you would already have a huge network that is actively working for you. Change is good.

“Be one with the marble”- Spongebob Squarepants

Several years ago, I saw an episode of Spongebob Squarepants where our yellow friend displayed his marble sculpting skills. (Don’t judge me.. we find knowledge in some strange places). Jealous of this skill, Squidward, the self proclaimed artistic genius of Bikini Bottom, reluctantly took sculpting lessons from Spongebob. His advice was “…you have to see the marble, you have to lick the marble, you have to date the marble…YOU HAVE TO BEEE THE MARBLE!”

So too it is with networking. Too often young students (and adults alike) leave school thinking that by sending out random resumes, they will get a job with in their field when the truth is that if you never surrounded yourself with your field how do you intend on getting there. For example, if you love marketing then subscribe to a marketing mailing list, join a marketing club or read up on marketing in general. You may not know what you are looking for but I guarantee that when you find it you will know. By surrounding yourself with what you want to get you are increasing your chances of obtaining it.

"Don’t work for money…Work for free." - Robert Kiyosaki

 The concept might be very strange to many. Let’s face it; how can you ever get what you want if you don’t have the money to obtain them? With the state of the economy these days?

The people who are in the positions and industries you want to enter have nothing to gain from you just yet. Instead of forcing your way in, court your way in. Opportunities to prove yourself and your skills are everywhere once you are willing to put the sweat equity into doing so. It’s not so much working for free as it is investing in yourself. Like any business man will tell you, investments are down payments for greater returns in the future. Once you are seen as someone capable, opportunities will start seeking YOU out.

Form meaningful relationships

Networking is not, and I repeat NOT, going to the metroplex and handing out business cards. It is NOT going to career fairs and handing out resumes or going to networking events and “talking shop”. Networking is about connecting to and creating meaningful relationships with people that share your interests. It is about finding out who someone is and not necessarily what they do because we all know what you do, else you wouldn't be talking to them in the first place. Learn to start seeing people more as human beings and less like their job title.

Apart from my first general introductions, when I network I hardly talk about what I do, unless I am asked my opinion on a related topic. Ten out ot Ten times people's personalities, interests and philosophies are revealed in the simplest of conversations. It is this information you will need to gather to determine wheter an individual is a good fit for YOU and YOUR network. Keep in contact with these people and be a genuine friend, the Universe will do the rest.

“Ask for a reference not a job”- Marc Cenedella

Picture this: you are in the elevator going back to your office after lunch. Just before the door closes a young gentleman slides in. He greets you and starts with his 1 min elevator picth which he caps off with "So give me a job..." -_-.

This is a hard, straight forward technique that either goes perfectly right or horrible wrong. Either way it comes off as abrasive and more often than not the accosted businessman leaves with a bitter taste in their mouth.; a slow creeping feeling that you are more interested in what they can get you rather than the need to make a meaningful relationship.

Instead, ask for a reference. This is an easy open ended way of asking for a job. In fact, this way produces higher return because you have now made it known that you are on the job market without actually accosting someone in your network. As an added bonus the person is also flattered that you would even hold them in such a high regard to want them as a reference. Now he/she is up to bat just for you and making their network work for YOU.

In speaking to several business owners in my short stint in the "Real World" I have discovered that your chances of getting hired because of a strategically placed reference are dramatically increased. According to one business owner; "I don't read resumes, I have a company to do that for me and select a suitable candidate which I in turn interview. He went on to say, "I will quicker hire someone who is recommended to me than go through the entire hiring process..." This was right about the time my mind was blown and the old West Indian saying crept in to pick up the shattered pieces that were left behind- "It is not who you know...but who knows you".  

Now, you have effectively communicated that you are on the job market and successfully created an advocate championing your cause through out their network. This is an example of your network working for you.

Never Give UP!

This post was done as a discussion to an article by Mashable contributor Alex Goldfayn. The article can be read here: http://mashable.com/2012/09/07/social-media-bad-marketing/?WT.mc_id=en_top_stories&utm_campaign=Top+Stories&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter

Ok let me start by saying that the author has made many compelling points. I completely agree with number 1 and the others have good arguments to back them up.

I have long advocated quality rather than quantity of followers or likes. I have also advocated meaningful, Quality, original content. All of which help in the creation, use and development of a social media strategy. I agree that it has made some marketers lazy and would rather be a part of the conversation than spark it. I also agree that it is just another platform to get your message out but I find it a bit unfair and disrespectful to throw all social media marketers in one pile of lazy. If you are a lazy social media marketer chances are you are a lazy marketer period. 

I AM a social media marketer. I manage 6 pages for 6 different dealerships in our group and several other personal and business pages. Every single one has demographic specific, original content. It is not enough to just post random items and hope that it will create a conversation. Neither is posting without looking at several key matrices (depending on what platform you use). In the building of any brand you need to understand your customers and what compels them.  

It is NOT a fad and although I agree that the lifespan of Facebook and Twitter are finite, another platform WILL rise to take its place, much like how Facebook replaced MySpace. Social media will always be there and will take a lot of time to understand how it will be effective for you specific situation. The same was said about the Internet when it first burst on the scene and now any business who wants to be taken seriously needs an Internet presence.

There may be “more effective” platforms that are easier to measure success but to criticize it's effectiveness right now in its current life cycle it is like trying to measure how successful your discussion was with your neighbor about what brand lawn mower to buy. There is obviously some potential in it as major brands have infested millions in the development of a social media strategy. Some more successful than others. Are those marketers lazy as well?

It's usefulness to business to business is another half truth and whole exaggeration. I personally have used social media for business to business transactions as a part of my social media strategy which is heavily engrossed in community development. What your specific strategy determines whether or not it will be useful in that specific situation.

Hopefully this is not the last time I will be blogging and hopefully I can access my tumblr account. So if you are reading this Mission successful. #GOME!

There have been so many things happening around me. So many lessons just glaring at me that I cannot keep still. I prefer to blog about lessons learnt than specific situations because it is a lot more constructive and I mean let’s face it…you cannot trust just anyone to keep your secrets. Which brings me to this week’s topic. “The (man) Code… Often referenced but rarely followed.” 

Men on a whole are a lot more loyal than women, to the pack they are a part of.  Don’t look for any scientific data to back up this fact because that’s just how it is. If you don’t know then you need to crawl out from under your rock and go have some human interaction. A girl can drop you as a friend for any reason. Trust me I’ve been there but I digress. That is another Post altogether. 

Every organized structure (pack) has a set of rules that govern their behavior. From here on out we shall refer to those rules as the “code”.  And like all codes of conduct, they are often broken. Usually, more times than not, it involves a woman. Now it goes a lot deeper than guys always think with their little head. Here is my take…

Unless you are socially challenged, everyone has friends, and those friends will have friends that are not necessarily mutual. There is a certain degree of loyalty that is expressed for every friend. That’s just how it is; some friends are just closer than others. It is where you fall on this continuum that will determine if you get thrown under the bus or not.

“Everybody who is friendly is not necessarily your friend...”

What’s the “code” you may ask? Well its simple, its “Do onto others as you would like them to do on to  you”. More specifically, don’t mess with my girl friend and/or my food (depends on which is more important ant the time), keep your eyes open and your mouth shut, keep the gay jokes to a minimum, no bitch-ass-ness, and above all respect me as a man. While these are not concrete I like to consider them broad and all encompassing and open to interpretation, much like the constitution of the United States. Which is why there are so many problems in America….can you begin to see the problem now?

Although most “code” violations are relegated to old talk over the domino table with a bottle of Jack, the malicious intent that caused them to even think it is always there. I would like to think that I give everybody a fair chance to defend themselves especially when it is within my camp. “Old talk” is Old talk and rarely goes outside the circle, but when you start siding against the group with people OUTSIDE the group, that’s when it gets sticky. I don’t care what any man says… if he has a girlfriend (not no fly-by-night-call-you-at-3am-so-we-can-watch-tv girlfriend) or a wife, he talks to them about everything. But she has enough sense not to get involved and most times they don’t know why we even have the friends we do because they would drop a heifer quick  like a freshly soiled diaper in the middle of June in Wichita falls…but that is not for them to understand. 

So although you follow the code on a regular, because it is instinctive, I cannot just let it slide when it REALLY MATTERS. When put up against the wall you have to defend it to the end. You can start by saying “No” or “ I don’t know” or my favorite “I rather talk about me and you”. Why? Because…

"All man is man... but you not a man until you a man when it really counts...”