i am literally frothing at the mouth

A list of things you can probably expect I'll post:

random writing prompts

shitposts

late night one sentence posts

a bunch of reposts of cool things

... maybe rants and rambles

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you can tell i don't take tumblr seriously.

VERY ODDLY SPECIFIC QUESTION but i got reminded of this from other stuff:

- what do you think about ithaqua's interest in the moon?

he has some dialogue related to it, and i'm fairly confident that you must've seen the tarot card art where he was the moon card, so, if you have any overanalyzing or just general/raw takes i'm curious!! i've always loved the moon and it's popped up in my life a lot so i gotta ask

I think it's interesting on a broader, narrative level. As much as everyone knows and associates him with the moon, even the game itself, it is ever present but it is not so prominent in terms of symbolism and usage as one might think in comparison to his other interests/iconographies, such as the wind, birds, and stars. These three things are arguably the three big things that represent a facet of his identity and history.  Stars are used as a symbol of life itself in his story. Lagertha went on a journey of self discovery, of understanding the world and humanity better through the guidance of the stars, and in the journey she found meaning in giving life to another, and that child, whose namesake is that of a star (η Ursae Majoris, the exact star that lead her to him) found that the meaning of his life and his very existence lies in her and her well being. He doesn’t have interest in stars, thats Lagertha’s thing, but he is undeniably so linked to it. Birds i think is a bit subtle, but i don’t see many people pointing it out beyond “he likes birds,” because Lagertha even likens herself to migratory birds. And because i firmly believe his interests are strongly based on or influenced by Lagertha to some capacity, birds become a symbol of freedom and the eventual loss of freedom. Because both are so disconnected from the world around them, that they do and go as they please, they are merely witnesses unbound to the world, and the moment they ground themselves in the world they are soon caged. Eta especially, while unbound to the world, was always willing to be “caged” if it means to help her. So it really is poetic that his favorite animal and, the animal that represents him most, are birds. These two things are very prominently shown in All Is Silent, the song and his design. As he represents Eta himself, and how he feels about his life and origins, and how he has Lagertha at the center of it (this is especially fitting, and reinforced, by the sonnet that they chose for him which is pace non trovo. And even more so if you know anything about Petrarca and his fascination for Laura, how she is a way in which he views the world, and becomes the foundation of Il Canzoniere which pace non trovo is apart of). 

Wind is mostly used to represent his nature, like how impulsive or spontaneous he can be, and how he always seems to find ways to breeze past the obstacles before him (though, it rarely solves the issues he has). He often speak of it as if it can talk to him, and honestly, knowing that it’s implied it does, then it only reinforces how it’s used to highlight his character and the narrative. 

Now this isn’t to say that, the moon doesn’t have significance, it’s just that i think it’s somewhat more understated because you don’t easily see it in canon texts (yet) as such it is hard to judge on why he may personally find the moon interesting than any other celestial body. 

The most obvious way to find this is to step back into the shoes of the writers. Eta is conceptualized as someone who is strongly linked to nighttime imagery, which would obviously point to the moon. A lot of the major events in his life happens at night, his birth and his “death” of self. It becomes an intrinsic part of his identity in a way that, it represents what he ultimately is; someone who is lonely, far removed from society, shrouded in mystique and uncertainty Someone who, conceals many things about himself. (which, unironically is what the Moon tarot card represents. The unknown and how someone goes about it. That it both represents terror, or a truth waiting to be found, you simply need to navigate through the dark. All that which highlights Eta’s internal struggle fairly well. Although I must preface that merchandise, while some are carefully picked to best suit the character, isn’t always so indicative of the character in canon. Although in this case i can somewhat confidently say it’s very intentional). So of course he would like the moon, the night is often peaceful, and perhaps the only place of respite and companionship he has later in life. Considering how Lagertha likes to stargaze, the moon would be something familiar and brings comfort. As well as, he wouldn’t like staying inside the house. Day or night, he would prefer to observe the world first hand. 

However apart of me has come to believe that, the moon represents a sort of ambition and longing. Again, you don’t get this in canon material, but i find the most prominent usage of the moon is within Helel / Morningstar. He is the moon to Nebuchadnezzar’s sun, the one cast aside, the one who sits and waits in the shadows, perceived as an unknown force, the “devil” who wants to get back at “god.” In the end he “ate” the sun, hence why he and his followers are known as the eclipse. The moon then, represents his pursuit, his ambitions to set things right and bring comfort and stability to himself (and in canon context, what he deems is meaningful in his life). See how this still ties with the idea that the moon also generally represents concealment. A lot of the times, for Eta to achieve the stability he long for, he first has to hide and dehumanize himself. But what really cements the idea is Voiceless Rift in the recent livestream, the way they use the moon as analogy for the never ending need to fulfill or maintain something because it is inherently imperfect, because that way he can always be sure that he tried his best to upholds everything that ever made his life. 

(I could honestly make a case for Helios, even though he is represented by the sun, on why the moon is still prominent to his existence. And no, not because of Waning Crescent, not entirely, but Maria. As she represents mercury which, is often linked with the moon and we see this mentioned in dialogues + Arya’s own design. It represents his ambition in alchemy, to honor and emulate Maria, the person who further sparked and helped his endeavors, to put himself next the greatest work itself, which includes overcoming his association with being Waning’s wannabe. Although Helios is a little dodgy to talk about simply because of bad writing, bad execution, and abhorrent EN localization that makes him look like he was written as someone who is arrogant because he is insecure and has a god complex, when in reality he’s just severely misguided due to the abusive environment he grew up in and has every right to think he knows better, but he never has thought of himself as infallible because he ultimately pursues the craft for the love of the game and nobody else but the meaning it gave him).

one must remember that cosmetics often times present as supplementary material for each character that fleshes out, highlights, and explore a certain facet of said character is various scenarios that is allegorical in nature. However, I always find the these have a certain system, in which it does not betray the original story or even the structure of a character's canon writing, it merely substitutes it. So it's not as if they wrote am entirely different story or tweak the character in a significant way. I would just like to call this, the Theseaus ship method.

Ithaqua of course, is no different. If you care to really dig into the depths of his character, until there is nothing but the foundation, you'll find that nothing truly changes. And while I think, this is not like the best way to illustrate that, I hope it helps? At least, to convey my point (this is also to. honestly debunk Helel misconceptions lol)

Thinking about how Ithaqua’s humanity didn’t exactly die with himself but rather with others.

I think not many really care to inspect Eta deeper than their first impressions or ideas of him based on a rather surface level understanding of the themes, for three years of his existence I have seen many emphasize or imply he hates his humanity, and that he has diluted himself in the persona of a monster that turns him into some sadistic and malevolent individual when, that’s simply an assumption, influenced (i think) by the fact that he’s based on a Lovecraftian god. Yet there’s no material that implies such grievances, he is only loosely based on the story and concept of Ithaqua and he is explicitly a subversion of the archetype of man turned monster in contrast to the other hunters (see: Ithaqua design notes on id5wiki) and the writers always make a point to emphasize the importance and complexities of human emotion and society. Thus, it is why i think people forget that a lot of that monstrosity is formed or forced upon him by other people, not necessarily himself, and he doesn’t necessarily like it either.

Eta Vilulf is characterized as someone who respects and uphold bonds a great deal, mainly seen with how he views and acts towards his mother, Lagertha. He grew up internalizing the idea that this is something irreplaceable because he sees and understands the sacrifices it took for him to have a chance at life (excerpt from the June 2026 anniversary stream, on Voiceless Rift; “To Ithaqua, love means sacrifice and imperfection, perhaps just like the crescent on the tip of his scythe can never be full” , excerpt from the 2nd Character Day letter; “This land does not easily suffer a woman to walk alone bearing knowledge. It is well that news travel slowly; one need only depart before suspicion takes hold. Then she came into these mountains, and for sixteen years she allowed herself the comfort of staying”). So, it manifests as a sense of duty, a responsibility, the desire to repay and emulate what Lagertha has done for him, to serve and take of her. She is, after all, the literal and metaphorical light of his life, and he constantly revolves himself around her. His likes, dislikes, hobbies, worldviews, everything. It is his greatest pleasure in life. This principle is something he applies to any relationship or bonds he may have (see: Spring Night Finale on id5wiki) aside from how this is also a mode of peacekeeping, as he is motivated by stability but that’s an essay for another time. Because of this, he often places his identity onto people he holds dear, if they were gone you might as well say he’s gone as well. It’s not that he lacks individuality, but simply his individuality and aspirations is relative to them, to Lagertha and her well being.

Lagertha, who broke away from Vilulf traditions (though she still and always will carry their philosophies, i must specify this), didn’t want Eta to essentially revolve himself around the concept of family and duty, or more accurately, to not bound himself, to forge a path thats entirely his own just like she’s doing now. To have freedom to see the world and learn, find out what he likes, and who he truly is as an individual. Yet, even after her blessings for him, he still has so incentive to broaden his horizons. For him, the life he wants to live is the live where he could always honor what gives him meaning in life.

I want to illustrate all this because his unwavering devotion becomes so utterly devastating with the way both of them are outsiders, both of them are people who don’t fit anywhere in society. Eta was deemed cursed because of their unsanitary practices, Lagertha was deemed a witch because she was ahead of her time, even compared to the rest of the Vilulfs who still undeniably care for Lagertha, who would accept Eta as their own, both see things so differently. Yes they internalized the philosophy, yes Eta displays similar behaviors when it came to familial matters, but they both yearn for something a lot simpler. They both yearn for that freedom, they possess no great ambitions other than the ones that allowed them to pursue what they deem meaningful. They had nobody but each other, and they found the meaning of life in each other. And they were then stripped from all of it.

Their story has always been about how society forces you to conform, otherwise you are hurt and demonized. Otherwise, you are subhuman. That Eta was forced to see his mother be stripped of her autonomy for educating others, for asserting boundaries, and become a prisoner of her own mind. That Eta was forced to throw everything he knew away, because how else could he save them? Save her? Return the peace and stability in their lives? That these two are forever known as the widow of the north and the monster in the blizzard. Because Eta never wanted to hate humanity, he never wanted to hurt others, but he was willing to do so because there was no use relying in civility, no time to ponder whether this is good or bad, because he simply had to act, to survive, Eta only did whats left for him to do. When the world strips him of himself (through hurting Lagertha) the last thing he can do is to embrace it, through his grief he understands there was no other choice. It doesn’t matter who he was anymore, because so long as he could still meet his goals (of making sure Lagertha is safe) then no matter how much he yearns for everything to be the way it once was, its inconsequential to the crisis at hand. And i find it beautiful in a deeply, upsetting way, this is a form of peacekeeping, a form of love, a form of saving humanity itself, his source of humanity.

this is why i said that his humanity doesn’t exactly end with him per se. Because he didn’t do this for himself, he didn’t do it to purge himself of something he comes to hate, but rather because loosing himself is better than losing her. He had always been bound to her, and If the world wants a monster, he’ll give them a monster, making him bound to Leng. Bound to these perceptions of him that he does nothing to dispel because it didn’t matter to his goals. He was always dehumanizing himself, “Ithaqua” is just the full picture of it, to how he puts himself in the role of caretaker, and now pushed to actually be in it. Ultimately, “Ithaqua” is what others make of him, what other drive him to be, through his love and his hatred, who he is doesn’t quite matter. It never did, did it? Unless it was her.

I need more people to seriously start actively acknowledging that Eta is a bad, flawed person instead of babying him with “he’s not as evil as he thinks he is” or “but he’s just a little guy🥺” OR EVEN doing the polar opposite of treating him like some evil violent man eating mindless fuck because all this accomplishes is stripping his story and characterization of ANY nuance. No, i do not care if this happens in any fandom, it still repulses me a great deal and, frankly, I’m allowed to be critical of a piece of media i like.

Just because Eta Vilulf is sympathetic, that you understand his goals are mainly survival, that he and the story at large makes a great point about society and it’s issues, does not mean he is a good person nor does the story ever frames him to be one. Morningstar/Helel actually does a great job of illustrating this because he centers Eta and his willingness to do bad things, that the narrative actively punishes him and in even tells you outright that this isn’t justice, no matter how justified, revenge is never a noble thing and doesn’t help anyone. But i wouldn’t expect people to know because they’re also busy making Helel a sex pest sadist for wish fulfillment. Nobody knows ball about him but me #sorry.

Eta is an extremely loving person, and it’s very apparent that it’s also his biggest flaw because it leads to selfishness. Eta, while he does sincerely uphold civility and other values his mother imparts onto him, ultimately his morals is very relative to her well being. Meaning, should something threatens that, he has no qualms whatsoever to abandon those which he upholds, simply because she means far greater to him than anything in this world ever could. Honestly, because he is characterized to be pragmatic or display pragmatism, ie. be extremely goal driven, preferring to act and leaving to room for self reflection, etc, it is not a wonder that his empathy is very selective. And no, I am not implying he doesn’t care about everything else, he isn’t heartless, but again he’s simply just amoral in retrospect. He is indifferent to these things, and is even above of it, should the need arise. Thus, his actions manifests immorally. Because anything can be and should be done for Lagertha, murder is just a means to an end.

However, he also doesn’t do what doesn’t benefit him. Eta thinks simply, and acts accordingly to his rather simple and narrow thought process, so he will and has not done anything excessive. This is why he doesn’t go out to eat people, or hang their corpses, or skin them alive, despite canonically feeling thrill from hunting (including this kind of hunting) simply because, why would he need to do that? The overly superstitious people of Leng will take care of that for him, all he needs is to be the catalyst. Again, this was very well represented In Morningstar where Helel would just, give them false ideas, and essentially let his followers (who don’t necessarily believe him btw, only doing it because they were given an excuse, much like Leng does) rebel for him.

i seriously think many tend to undermine just how clever and resourceful Eta is when it comes to achieving his goals. His methods may be unconventional, but it does the job, both literally and for him emotionally (and he also uses this to repress a lot of his grief and channel his anger). He is cruel, but it is always measured. I also need to specify that a lot of the things said about him is in hyperbole or simply unreliable narratives created of him because i need to stress he is aware of everything he does. He is aware of exactly why Leng is in the wrong and what caused it, he makes a conscious albeit misguided and impulsive decision to dehumanize himself and hurt others, not caring for the ethics and universal impact of it because it is not within the range of his goals.

I need more people to seriously start actively acknowledging that Eta is a bad, flawed person instead of babying him with “he’s not as evil as he thinks he is” or “but he’s just a little guy🥺” OR EVEN doing the polar opposite of treating him like some evil violent man eating mindless fuck because all this accomplishes is stripping his story and characterization of ANY nuance. No, i do not care if this happens in any fandom, it still repulses me a great deal and, frankly, I’m allowed to be critical of a piece of media i like.

Just because Eta Vilulf is sympathetic, that you understand his goals are mainly survival, that he and the story at large makes a great point about society and it’s issues, does not mean he is a good person nor does the story ever frames him to be one. Morningstar/Helel actually does a great job of illustrating this because he centers Eta and his willingness to do bad things, that the narrative actively punishes him and in even tells you outright that this isn’t justice, no matter how justified, revenge is never a noble thing and doesn’t help anyone. But i wouldn’t expect people to know because they’re also busy making Helel a sex pest sadist for wish fulfillment. Nobody knows ball about him but me #sorry.

Eta is an extremely loving person, and it’s very apparent that it’s also his biggest flaw because it leads to selfishness. Eta, while he does sincerely uphold civility and other values his mother imparts onto him, ultimately his morals is very relative to her well being. Meaning, should something threatens that, he has no qualms whatsoever to abandon those which he upholds, simply because she means far greater to him than anything in this world ever could. Honestly, because he is characterized to be pragmatic or display pragmatism, ie. be extremely goal driven, preferring to act and leaving to room for self reflection, etc, it is not a wonder that his empathy is very selective. And no, I am not implying he doesn’t care about everything else, he isn’t heartless, but again he’s simply just amoral in retrospect. He is indifferent to these things, and is even above of it, should the need arise. Thus, his actions manifests immorally. Because anything can be and should be done for Lagertha, murder is just a means to an end.

However, he also doesn’t do what doesn’t benefit him. Eta thinks simply, and acts accordingly to his rather simple and narrow thought process, so he will and has not done anything excessive. This is why he doesn’t go out to eat people, or hang their corpses, or skin them alive, despite canonically feeling thrill from hunting (including this kind of hunting) simply because, why would he need to do that? The overly superstitious people of Leng will take care of that for him, all he needs is to be the catalyst. Again, this was very well represented In Morningstar where Helel would just, give them false ideas, and essentially let his followers (who don’t necessarily believe him btw, only doing it because they were given an excuse, much like Leng does) rebel for him.

i seriously think many tend to undermine just how clever and resourceful Eta is when it comes to achieving his goals. His methods may be unconventional, but it does the job, both literally and for him emotionally (and he also uses this to repress a lot of his grief and channel his anger). He is cruel, but it is always measured. I also need to specify that a lot of the things said about him is in hyperbole or simply unreliable narratives created of him because i need to stress he is aware of everything he does. He is aware of exactly why Leng is in the wrong and what caused it, he makes a conscious albeit misguided and impulsive decision to dehumanize himself and hurt others, not caring for the ethics and universal impact of it because it is not within the range of his goals.