Tiny Little Rambles

I am so tired of having to be the strong and put together and independent woman. My soul is so heavy and tired. I am tired of being my own worst critic, and subconsciously inviting others to treat me that way. To minimize me, to give me less than I deserve, to neglect and emotionally distance themselves or avoid me and the problems that I call into the light. I feel so lonely sometimes. All this work that my therapist is having me to do is healing for me, absolutely, but sometimes I can't help but feel so much sadness, and so much pity for myself. It is not a good place to sit in. It is not a good energy to dwell in and allow these emotions to fester. But somehow I just wish that someone spoke up for me, that someone saw me for the skills and the beauty that I am, and that that would be enough. But even with love - with my husband - love was never unconditional. With friends, with family... I had to be a certain way to be accepted. And I am honestly tired of catering to everyone else.