Why do people in fanfiction and fanart show grindelwald as the dominant partner? Like if you think their dynamic doesn’t fall neatly into the dom/sub categories and the demarcation is blurred. It is said that Albus dressed flamboyantly later in life but he’s very tall and already had stubble when he was 18. Conversely gellert is described as good-looking in a way that inspired protectiveness (from Harry) and is a Seer, a magical trait mostly associated with women
Uh, I really don't think I'm the right person for this question. Dom/sub dynamics are... not really terms I think in. (Not because I'm opposed to it or anything, I just find it very strange that people take it as the natural lense through which to view a relationship dynamic. I mean, a relationship should be an equal partnership, what's with the insistence of figuring out who's "dominant"? Also the whole framework smells suspiciously of heterosexual gender stereotypes. Buuttt I digress). Since you're here, though, I'll do my best to answer.
The straightforward Doylist explanation is that, looking at a cross-fandom sample, hero/villain ships tend to portray the villain as dominant. It's a trope. I'd pin it on narrative structures that have the villain as the aggressive party, and the hero as the reactive one; a structure which certainly applies in this case, since Grindelwald is the one with a cause and Dumbledore is (very reluctantly) reacting. However, the fact that they ended up in this dynamic is largely a matter of circumstances and may not say much about their dynamic when they were actually together, so perhaps it's not the most satisfying answer.
To discuss what I actually think their dynamic would be like: I doubt either of them would be satisfied being consistently submissive. They were drawn to each other's power, after all; having either of them submit completely would likely have lost the other's interest. That said, I can see why it's easier to imagine Albus being submissive. He already has loving relationships with other people (in a non-romantic sense, obviously) so he's more practiced with vulnerablity and compromise. Hell, even the fact that he's in Godric's Hollow that summer is the result of him compromising for the sake of his loved ones. We don't know that Gellert has any similar ties; the fact that he ended up staying with Bathilda suggests there's no-one closer to him, and while he and Bathilda got on well there's no sign that he would sacrifice or compromise anything for her. So, if one of them had to be more vulnerable, it would be easier to see Albus doing it; it's not as big a deal for him. Gellert, meanwhile, would likely feel threatened by the loss of power at first; he's used to relying on himself and seeing others as rivals or threats, the concept of feeling safe surrendering power to someone he loves isn't as easy for him.
That said, I actually find submissive Gellert much more interesting because of this. Gellert is all about power, as symbolised by his interest in the Elder Wand. Giving it up, in any form, would be the ultimate show of love and trust for him. I imagine Gellert as someone who has difficulty admitting affection sincerely in words. He can sweet-talk and manipulate with ease, but - maybe precisely because of that - I imagine that he would be frightened of the weight of admitting something too honest. So, he would admit it in actions instead - like surrendering, letting someone else dominate him, something which has massive significance for a person with narcissistic tendencies who would normally hate to put someone else "above" himself in any sense. So yes, I think Gellert being submissive would definitely happen, but would be shown more rarely because of the much greater emotional impact and significance when it does happen.
... Well, I said I was the wrong person to ask, but considering how much I had to say, maybe not?
(As a side note: what's the quote that says he was good-looking in a way that "inspired protectiveness"? I don't remember anything like that.)
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