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I’m no fun anymore. I used to say a lot of weird things, watch weird videos, play new video games, have a weird, snappy sense of humor, and feel okay about expressing that to other people. I’ve suppressed all of that to get taken seriously by academic or professional people, and because I had a couple bad experiences with some boring hipsters I misread. I barely even engage myself with anything I actually like, partially because of terrible time management, but also because I get the feeling that anything I’m interested in or feeling would lead to immediate social rejection by anyone.

Fuck everyone else and fuck their opinions. Fuck ‘em fuck ‘em fuck ‘em (if I say it three times that makes it happen).

I should be able to put myself out there while keeping certain aspects of my sexuality private.

Sometimes, I’ve had a lower sex drive which I partly blame on somewhat higher blood sugars from diabetes, so that’s made it harder to make sense of. It might also be a mental health thing, so I’m not sure.

Most individual men are gross and overly masculine anyway so I’m not sure it’ll effect my day to day life. The right type would have to pop up and things would take a while just like when I thought I was straight.

In terms of being public about it, it just isn’t most people’s business.

It’s there but not a big point of emphasis for me personally, so I just dunno.

Meanwhile their enthusiastic support for Hillary Clinton and Democratic Party is often contrary to my beliefs, and excuses systemic oppression in practice.

So many of them do great work on the local level, but their environment combined with my field of study and personal issues is extremely draining. I hate to lump so many people into a single grouping but I’m going to have to stay the fuck away from most of these people.

It’s just less mental effort to focus on women.