Because I Wanted You To Know

And it really felt... strange when I heard it being played in somewhere that’s not CMBYN or CMBYN related. Hearing it and seeing some scenes that weren’t in CMBYN gave me an incongruous feeling, like the song isn’t belonged. Like it’s misplaced, out of place, I was in some weird place that I suddenly got pulled out of the plots and characters in the show, then all the CMBYN related stuff flew into my mind and took over. Which is surprising and yet not really surprising. Even though I’m kind of half out of the fandom now, but I guess what CMBYN and the golden CMBYN era of this fandom left with me still stay. And I just felt weirdly emotional about this experience. And maybe nostalgic.

I still don’t know if I want to read Find Me. I’ve seen some reviews about it, and someone has said something that makes me kinda inclined to not read it.

He said that the book feels somehow disjointed to him, all the characters feels like they have nothing to do with each other, and more importantly, he feels like the book doesn’t give the readers any disclosures that most people wanted. He said CMBYN is great and left you at a place that you can interpret the ending whatever you like and there are many possibilities, but now you know what happened to these characters over those years they spent apart, yet still there’s no disclosure of any sort, it seems that CMBYN doesn’t really need a sequel, like you don’t have to know what would happen to Scarlet after the ending of Gone with the Wind. And he’s not the only one who brings up the Gone with the Wind ending while reviewing Find Me, and they said the exact same thing about it lol.

He also said that if you take each character, even the additional characters who are newly introduced in Find Me, separately, and tell the stories separately, it would make more sense and you’d get more characters’ exploring and where they’re going in their lives, which sounds kinda like my reading experience with Enigma Variations, and I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of that book... Even though the reviews I’ve seen all say Find Me isn’t bad at all, it’s actually good/okay, but some say they like it but others don’t know if the sequel is necessary.

Anyway, it feels to me that my worst fear about the sequel has been confirmed, that it might ruin the experience CMBYN gave me. To me, CMBYN has the perfect balance of telling the readers enough informations and leaving a lot of blanks, only shows the readers what the passing of time could do to people, and those blanks let all the feelings and emotions to work perfectly, which is probably why CMBYN hit me so hard. And I’m just afraid I would lose that if I read Find Me.