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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@timdrakemybeloved
just thinking about the fact that heated rivalry (tv) starts with ilya and shane meeting. there is no build up. no background given about who they are as people before the inciting incident of them meeting the way most romances (and most stories period) start. because nothing else before matters. the moment they meet, their lives truly begin. this story is theirs, not just one or the other. their memories start here, in this back lot of an ice rink in saskatchewan.
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i've said before that i think in 2024 one of the younger cens players (picking a name at random and saying holmberg) makes shane and ilya listen to chappell roan and they take unfathomable psychic damage from good luck babe and casual while flashing back to their situationship era, but to get even more specific about it:
i think holmberg starts them off with good luck babe since it's her big breakthrough hit and ilya is like "hm. so this is a song about being in a relationship with someone who's in denial about being gay? and they won't admit to the relationship because of it? interesting" while staring directly at shane who is making very determined eye contact with the floor.
and holmberg (clueless) is like "yeah she writes a lot of situationship anthems actually!" and puts on casual.
which allows shane to pull an instant uno reverse card and stare daggers into the side of ilya's head while going "wow, imagine what it would be like to spend years sleeping with someone who sends really confusing mixed signals by saying that what you have is casual but then treating you like it's not casual at all. that would suck."
anyway chappell roan gets banned from the cens locker room playlist out of fear of causing their captain and alternate to divorce. they make an exception for pink pony club though because they are the pink (red) pony (centaur) club
Shane is the type of ridiculously hot that he ends up on random people’s TikTok pages with them begging people to help find him.
Hockey fans then have to break their hearts by letting them know that 1) he’s gay 2) he’s married and 3) his husband is just as hot as he is.
my headcanon is that people always assume ilya must be upset that none of his children look like him and that they're all the spitting image of shane, but ilya genuinely doesn't understand why anyone thinks that's a bad thing. his children have shane's freckles, shane's jet-black hair, shane's smile, and every time he looks at them, all he can see is the love of his life. he never wanted little copies of himself. if anything, he's grateful they all look like shane. every familiar feature feels like a gift, and sometimes he catches himself staring at them for a little too long because he's so overwhelmed by how much he loves them. somehow, he gets to see the face he fell in love with reflected in his children every single day, and he wouldn't have it any other way
ilya sees this old trend where someone holds out a hand to their partner to see what their partner would give them so he comes over to try it with shane who’s on the sofa. he holds out his hand and shane gives him the remote. he tosses the remote aside. shane looks a bit confused. he gives ilya his phone. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya a pillow. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya his hand. ilya shakes it out. his face squints in confusion before coming up with an idea and rests his chin on ilya’s hand. and okay, well, the challenge is just to annoy your partner, but holy fuck shane looks so fucking cute with his big brown eyes looking up at ilya waiting for his approval so ilya just really has to smile and kisses him about it.
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how to train your mercenary
I love this 😂
"Ill ruin my mental health if you kill people!"
"PETER STOOPP"
"Thats it. Im canceling my therapy appointment"
"NOOOO"
thinking about how thalia and percy are the only real forbidden broken oath children. the di angelos being born before the oath, jason and hazel being roman, tyson being a cyclops...they aren't weighed down by the cruelty of the styx, the debt they have to repay for their fathers. thalia and percy are the product of a broken oath on the styx and the styx cannot punish their fathers and must go after them instead.
thalia and percy being hunted to half blood hill and thalia dying to protect her family while percy kills to avenge his family. "thalia" meaning to flourish or blossom, "perseus" meaning to destroy. thalia and percy growing up under an abuser and being made to provide for the family with childcare and money respectively. thalia being heralded by virtue of her father while percy is feared by virtue of his father. luke believing thalia would be on his side and when annabeth considers what thalia’s choice would be, she simply asks percy what he would do because she knew thalia and percy were so alike that they’d make the same choice. if percy wouldn’t side with him, then thalia wouldn’t side with him.
percy and thalia being treated as equal and exchangable weapons and tools by both camp and the gods, pitted against each other but no one else understanding them the way the other does. two sides of the same coin. THALIA AND PERCY TWINISM WINS ONCE AGAIN
Oh one BIG reason I think the general public in Canada especially would be extremely pro-Shane Hollander even post-outing: he imports Ilya Rozanov and he doesn't leave Canada even when the situation in Montreal goes sideways
It's honestly impossible to overstate what a big deal that is. Canada constantly losing their hockey talent to US teams and the Stanley drought...it doesn't fucking matter what went down with those French Canadians, the rest of the country is ignoring that, he's still their hero.
When Ilya steps out in a Team Canada jersey at the 2026 Olympics and they crush team USA 6-0 in the gold medal match Shane would be instantly deified as the first Canadian saint.
AU where Shane and Ilya don't hook up or have a decades-long secret. They don't really know each other at all, except to play each other.
Shane comes out of the closet sometime after Scott does, and in some random, lighthearted interview, they ask him what he's looking for in a man. And Shane's just, off-hand like, "Well, he'd have to have at least one Stanley Cup. Obviously." And when he gets a good reaction from that, he keeps going, like "Needs to be amazing at hockey. Definitely needs to be at least an All-Star, if not a captain. Hot too. If he can't bench-press me, I'm not interested."
And it's all in fun, except two days after the interview prints, Ilya Rozanov shows up at his door like "knock, knock. I am here to apply for boyfriend position. Do you need resume? I brought my Stanley Cup ring, just in case."
Kevin at Seth's funeral
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neil VS the countdown in tkm
i love how shane has zero awareness of how cool he actually is and how much people are dying to talk to him but they keep a Respectful Distance because he's such a mythic bitch
shane gets semi tipsy at one team event and starts talking about some strategy he saw or hockey history book he read and everyone is focused immediately hanging onto every word - until he abruptly stops himself because he thinks he's being Unbearable Only Hockey Guy again when in reality the entire league looks at shane like he's holding some hockey secret fountain of talent that will make them talented too
and when he DOES end up relaxed enough to share something personal everyone is even MORE invested and trying not to spook him and trying to keep him talking and making jokes because Oh My God Shane Hollander is talking to them, Shane Hollander is Cooler and Funnier than originally anticipated (and everyone already thought he was a legend)
this is also SO frustrating for ilya especially when they're out and people are openly flirting with shane and eating up every word that comes out of his mouth (he also opens up a lot more when he's with ilya because duh but this makes everyone MORE infatuated with him) and ilya just watches everyone fall in love with his husband while he shifts between possessively glaring at anyone who looks a little Too adoring and being full of his own admiration for shane and rubbing his thigh under the table
but then they go home and shane's like shit i probably talked too much about hockey right? or wait did i interrupt the rookies too much? we should've tipped the bartender more he was so nice all evening
and ilya is seeing red both because this man can't see how incredible he is while everyone else can AND because this man is in fact his
obviously they fuck about it
Bruce Wayne: Mansplain
Dick Grayson: Malewife
Tim Drake: Manipulate
Jason Todd and Damian Wayne: Manslaughter
I think ao3 is literally the only site where no censorship means no censorship. you can post the most vile things on there — things that will get taken down on any other platforms — and ao3 will protect you, your works, and your rights to create whatever you want, however you want.
and no, this isn’t me saying “write that messed up, disgusting thing” because while, yes, write it if it’s what you want (I myself enjoy writing dark fics, something I believe would be considered “vile” to a lot of people), this is me saying in a world of censorship and capitalism, ao3 really is a treasure.
everybody say thank you ao3
one of the things that rlly gets me about andreil's dynamic is that andrew is the one who runs from his feelings while neil is the one who forces him to confront them. total reversal of their established dynamic. insane.
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it doesn't surprise me at all that shane was able to pick rose up
1.- that's his (platonic) soulmate and they get along super well
2.- i rember seeing a queer person once say that they found it suuuuper easy to flirt with people of the opposite sex cuz there's no stakes. you aren't actually into them! so it takes the pressure off.3
3.- shane is funny and amazing and hot
Do you have any prey!shane headcanons to share with the class?
Oh boy do I! I'm still kind of tired, so these won't be super comprehensive, but here are some of my thoughts :))
Shane is an adrenaline junkie. He loves rollercoasters and horror movies and kind of wants to go skydiving one day. The swoop in his gut and the rush that comes with it is pure fucking feeling and he loves it. The chase gives him that same rush, that surge of adrenaline that urges him to run, get away, don't get caught is his favourite feeling in the world. It leaves him giddy and bright-eyed, and Ilya loves that version of Shane almost as much as Shane himself does.
We all know this, but Shane is fucking competitive. He never lets Ilya catch him. If Ilya wants him, he has to put in the fucking work an earn it. This only adds to the fun because, when Ilya finally catches him, they're both panting, but Ilya's won, he's overpowered Shane and is now going to claim his prize, which makes them both absolutely feral.
That being said, if Shane does manage to outrun Ilya, he'll be a little pouty about it, but he stands his ground. If Ilya's gonna give Shane what he want, he's just going to have to try harder next time, isn't he?
Sometimes, when he's caught, he'll widen his eyes and let tears well up just so that Ilya will coo condescendingly at him and trap him further, tell him that there's nothing Shane can to to get Ilya to let him go.
On that note, biting gets to Shane like crazy in moments like these. Ilya's grin is wide and sharp and predatorial, he looks like a wolf looming over him. Ilya will play into this and say that the wolf has caught the little bunny, and now he's going to tear him to shreds (aka gnaw and drag his teeth across Shane's neck while he squeals and breathlessly protests.
At the end of it all, when they're cuddled up and Ilya's draped himself over Shane or has tucked Shane snugly against his chest, Shane feels wonderful and small and safe. His mind drifts back to those youtube videos he likes to watch sometimes of unlikely animal friends and he falls asleep with a soft smile on his face.
