if u're seeing this i *mwah* kiss u on ur cheek

Sometimes I don’t understand the comics in the New Yorker but I’m brilliant in many other ways

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

I'll block a bitch on Google Maps (you can do that)

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

EAAAAAHHHHHHH*blub blub*ahhh.

Sound ON

Please unmute, I would not steer you wrong on something so important.

had a dream i walked up to a food stall and they tried to sell me 3 takoyaki for $130 and i was so mad that i woke myself up before completing the transaction. idiot lost their customer to the waking world lol. charge less next time.

woah.. do you know any other abilities of creatures

🦨💨