shit i say â sentence starters
i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!
â IâM GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. â
â Iâm going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. â
â *aggressive finger guns* â
â *high pitched screeching* â
â Thatâs where youâre right, kiddo. â
â I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DONâT NEED A GUNâ â
â GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. â
â Thatâs my cue to blast outta here. â
â GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. â
â Thoroughly shooken. â
â Trust me, Iâm a professional. â
â Iâm gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. â
â Iâm convinced I was a cat in a past life. â
â Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. â
â I literally have a âwhite people voiceâ for when Iâm being polite. â
â I sound like a fucking twelve year old. â
â I got a tiny ass head. Itâs like a fucking golf ball. â
â _____ is the literal bane of my existence. â
â I hate you. âŚIâm kidding. â
â Yeah, well, heâs/sheâs/theyâre a manipulative cunt, so. â
â Iâm gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. â
â Iâm small and bitter like an espresso. â
â I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. â
â *frustrated groaning* â
â I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. â
â I will kick your fucking ass. â
â Donât you fucking dare. â
â I get it, Iâm fucking short. â
â You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. â
â I do it because I love you. â
â *fondly* Fucking nerd. â
â *fondly* Dumbass. â
â You are my absolute favorite person. â
â Donât even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. â
â *whining noises and grabby hands* â
â There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. â
â Itâs literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. â
â Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, Iâm gonna fucking cry. â
â I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. â
â JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! IâM GONNA SCREAM. â
â You best not be fucking texting and driving. â
â Do you want ____? â
â Please donât do that, youâre worrying me. â
â Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. â
â âDrink water kids!â I say as I am severely dehydrated. â
â ____, thatâs not good. â
â Who do I have to fucking fight? âÂ
â I hate myself with every fiber of my being. â
â Iâm just really fucking scared. â
â Iâm sorry that I love you. â
â Iâm sorry that Iâm like this. â
â Whatâs wrong with me? â
â God, this happens every fucking time. â
â I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. â
â I donât know what Iâm doing. â
â Why the fuck am I crying? â
â Iâm getting bad again. â
â Itâs like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. â
â Iâve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. â
â I look and feel like absolute shit. â
â Itâs nothing, Iâm fine. â
â Iâm so fucking exhausted. â
â I really wanna just sleep. â
â I need to just sleep for like 17 years. â
â I could literally fall asleep anywhere. â
â Iâm gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. â
â Iâm already fucking tired. â
â If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. â
â Can I just nap instead? â