illi 🩸

when an artist draws fem versions of male characters but makes them skinnier smaller and less muscular................im not saying this is illegal but when their heart will be put on a scale it ain't gonna be lighter than a feather

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

i made kankri's beginning of sentence expression "#TW:" and its so funny cus hes just saying that shit for no reason. tw i made a friend and i had a good time

Caspar 🧍‍♂️. You’re 🫵pretty drunk 🥴 right now. (That’s actually you.) I’m projecting 👨‍💻📽. I’m sorry 🥺 I was an asshole 🫩 earlier. I 🫩 used to live in space 🌌🌠🪐⭐️! (I know.) I hate 🤬🤬 it here! (I know.) I used to live in 🌌 space 🌌🤬🤬. And now I live in ⛱️🌞Pasadena 🌎📍. (I'm sorry.) Pasadena 🌎📍 is NOT ❌️🙅‍♂️ space 🌌❌️. (No it is not.) I’m 🥺 really sorry... 🥺😢 We’re going to figure this out, Gloria!! 🫡💕🙏! (Okay, Leif...) I may need to build a spaceship 🚀 on the roof🏢. For therapy 🛠🧰🚀😊. (That’s a lot of therapy, but okay.) I’m going to sleep 🥱😪😴💤

you've heard of "he would not fucking say that" now get ready for "he would not be that comfortable with his own sexuality"

bertbert is the number one character of all time. she’s an alien. she’s an investigative journalist. she’s blue. her most significant ex is someone she never even dated. she gets drunk off of earth’s atmosphere. she tells her best friend to be less reckless and not ten seconds later is imprisoned by a space cult. she once conducted an interview so risky she got brainwashed for 10+ years. one time she had to pretend to be julia roberts on thanksgiving. she’s even named after a patreon subscriber.

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

Fuck personality tests. Who comes to your mind when I say “Michael”