Itās been a little bit hasnāt it!?
Quit my job, moved, did some stuff, survived a pandemic, made new friends, lost some friends, family, learned some things... Ā Worked some work, built a marriage (ongoing) and upgraded from work to career.
Also I got a cat. Ā Heās easy peasy and he knows right when the snuggles are needed most. Ā Might I remind you, Iām 36- despite my writing. Ā So Iām hoping, this time to keep up with this. Ā Sharing my thoughts, what's going on, whatās happened. Ā Not just to follow through with an idea my therapist and I came up with, (LITERALLY LOLāing)Ā Ā but because itās nice to get thoughts and feelings out into the world. Ā There are VERY few who have even seen this let alone keep up with it on a regular basis.
So here we are, at the very beginning of a new career, a real career, a grown up job. Ā Today marks the final day of training and surprisingly enough I (along with my awesome classmates) are really catching on. Ā Yea, we do have a LOAD of questions and a lot of things incomplete but thanks to our fearless leader aka āfill-in-managerā weāll be given the time to catch up a little. Ā In the meantime, as of next week, we are on our own!
This is the culmination of years of applying and interviewing over and over, being let down, getting pep talks from my dad and new surrogate mom/mentor.. Ā Everyday I tap my ID badge against a wall and I'm in the place that Iāve been working to get to for so long.
Itās been an exhausting process of putting in hours ofĀ āside workā in the last year, losing sleep, losing energy, interest, regaining interest, riding dopamine hyper-fixations, utilizing hyperfocus in the right places, sacrificing time, money, brain cells... Ā Was it worth it? Ā So far.
Things have got easier over time. Ā Taking the time to celebrate the little achievements, taking each in stride so things have got better over time and this processes isnāt yet over. Ā Thereās still a lot to do. Ā Just as with everything in life, things are continuous... Ā UntilĀ theyāre not. Ā In the meantime, my hope is to leave some kind of permanent mark somewhere.
So, to my point. Ā Iām here, making dinner, looking at my fridge. Ā We have this little mood chart that I dug out of one of my old (doom) boxes I have hidden around the house. Ā It had been magnetized on my parentās refrigerator for almost as long as I can remember. Ā It wasnāt used often and if Iām honest, it still isnāt. Ā My hope would be that this worn, advertisement for a behavior health company Iāve never heard of disguised as a novelty therapy tool,Ā would be another communication tool for me and my wife. We donāt always, everyday get a chance to have these conversations to express how weāre feeling generally on a day to day. Ā Most of the time I donāt even remember if, when I look at it, I was the last one to use it or my wife. Ā Just looking at it reminds me to, as the Jedi say, ābe mindful of your feelingsā.
All this of course, sounds quite silly. Ā
For us, it works. Ā Things like this, let us be more our genuine selves with each other with all of the stressful things we have going on. I kinda like it. Ā
