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if i look back, i am lost
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@thisisnotallaboutme

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That is not small
I rarely publicly make strong political statements. It seems that my views are even too socialist and left leaning for even most self-proclaimed progressives which leads them to think I donāt get it... as someone that has been a socialist for 34 years or so, itās cute that they donāt get it while they claim how knowledged they are.
Conservatives, mainly from the Libertarian side of things, talk about small government. How they feel that our government should not be so involved in our everyday lives. Well, this POV [Point of View] is carried by the rank and file followers as they do not understand that there are 2 parts to conservatism - what is good for business and what is good for people. In this instance, the Small Government sentiment is strictly in regards to business.
SMALL GOVERNMENT, as they (you) think it means, should not give a fuck about whoās gay, whoās pregnant with an unwanted child and whoās doing what on their property. Yet, in reality, those same folks that talk up this Small Government thing think that they have a right to control the rights related to such things. A truly small government would not care! Those that want a small government, feeling that our current size is oppressive, should not care either. Yet they do...
So, voters are voting for these conservatives talking about small government when in fact they are causing our government to become more involved in our private lives and limiting our liberties. You may be personally opposed to gays and abortion, but to limit their liberties under your beliefs is counter to the Small Government ideal. If your belief is genuine, you should not give a rats ass who is having sex with who, what a woman does about her pregnancy, and what your neighbor is growing in their back yard.
The truth is that SMALL GOVERNMENT is correlative term to DEREGULATION. A long standing demand of business to force the government to let them do as they wish and that a āFREE MARKETā would cause the bad businesses to fail as the people would only buy from the good businesses. Meaning, that they are capable of policing themselves. And, the biggest lie - that all things are equal in regards to business.
Back during the Industrial Revolution, the term used was Laissez Faire - loosely meaning Hands Off. That the government has no right nor should have power control or even deal with business. That business is above the law, that law applies to people and not business. Nice try fellas, but wrong. One, very simplistic way to set this aside is to know that businesses are made up of people. Add the layer of Government gives permission to business to exist. Although, that in alone creates the argument that Government permissions should not be a thing. That is why we go back to the first part, businesses are made of people. The government grants permission to a person or persons, to do business. It is not that the government grants permission to a business to do business.
Over the years, with influence from money from businesses, these points have been made fuzzy. So fuzzy that people donāt get it. They vote for the āSmall Governmentā idealism while the government gives breaks to business and passes the bill onto the people to pay. Itās like telling your mom that you demand to be treated like an adult when you get a job at 16, but then quit that job as it restricts your freedom to hang with your friends and demand your mom to pay your bills. Then add to that you complain that your mom isnāt doing enough for you and get angry when she buyās your little sister a birthday gift and didnāt get you anything. This is the situation today throughout most of rural America.
They voted for conservatives who promised smaller and more financially sound governance. Those conservatives cut the federal government revenues to 60% less than it was before (over time), spent less schools, roads, hospitals and many other things they use to give the States money for. Spending more money on military and handing out cash to agricultural regions to benefit specific businesses. Causing the States to raise taxes locally (sales tax, property taxes, regulatory fees and licensing fees). Since more people means the need for more funding for schools, infrastructure, and general upkeep; the higher the population in an area the higher the taxes grew. Since larger populations tend to be more diverse, they tend to vote more liberal as the conservative model has made anyone not like them an enemy.
Meanwhile in rural America, the corporate agriculture system has put many family farms out of business which leads to the erosion of the entire chain of related industries from trucking to lunch counters to manufacturing. As the jobs left the region, so did the money. Values of everything dropped, leading to a drop in other revenues. And the cycle continues.
Your āsmall governmentā has caused local government to grow as they need to tackle the issues locally that are generated by this cycle. Lower income, higher crime, more police. Abandoned and neglected properties, more fires, more firemen. Abandoned factories, more unmonitored pollution, more illnesses, more crime. Less money for schools, lower education standards, more under educated workforce, more drugs, more crime, more police, more, more, more bad stuff.
SMALL GOVERNMENT IS A LIE! It is just a means to trick you into giving business the freedoms they wanted since 1890. Meanwhile they have forced us to fight for the scraps they left behind.
Yes, this is overly simplified but not off point and it is relatively to find the facts to support all of this.
Follow up to a post
My before last, which is made months ago, demands a revisit. The themes were dire and very emotional and left some open questions on what I am doing.
As it reported, the last year or so has been very challenging as a business owner. The challenges have been very stressful and left me to consider shuttering operations of my business.
The response is that, for now, I will not be closing up shop. I think it is smarter to seek partnerships with those that will further the business in the direction it needs to go.
Why have I lightened on this subject?
The overwhelming positive response to what I do. As the year came to an end, I have looked at the numbers and there are strong indicators of growth. I have also had some amazing feedback that helped me open up my eyes to a slightly bigger picture. The fact is, I need to evolve not close.
I am targeting weak areas to improve or remove. Many products will see a revamp, others will come to an end. At this point in time it is a very smart step to take. It is also something every business does. This is not thatĀ āone thingā that will reverse all that I expressed previously, but it will make us leaner and more attractive.
Our focus on festivals and events sales is being downgraded. What events we do take part it must be ones with a focus on maker-seller vendors over entertainment and drinking. We will not take part in small events that cannot offer high enough traffic, regardless of the costs to enter. Even a āfreeā event for us costs us money. All of these tiny, āset up a tableā, events are very unpredictable in regards to traffic and potential sales. If we canāt forecast effectively, then we canāt take part.
Since some have asked, my business is 2 brands of premium quality, yet affordable personal care products. One is all about facial hair and beard care, the other is gender neutral and good for all people. Our website is: https://pogonotrophics.com
We are heading into our 6th year. During this time I have seen a ton of beard oil makers come and go. Most have been a mixed bag of quality, prices and options. They have been able to heavily market themselves through many channels and yet they are gone. We are still here! Maybe it is because I wonāt give up that easily, or maybe it is because I am not rushing anything. My debt for a start up is TINY when compared to most other businesses of any kind. That means something!!!
Over the next 2-3 months I will be seeking capital to restructure our debt and free up cash flow. We are also leaving the door open for partner/investors who really dig what we have going.
As far as the friends and family. FUCK THEM. As I know that if we make it big, they will come sniffing around wanting something. They are also the kind of people that will talk up how they know the owner, knew us when we were smaller and shit like that. Some would even be the kind to say they knew we would make it.
Now, when I throw those friends under the bus it is not to diminish the friends who stepped up. I have friends that have fought hard for us, going beyond what one would expect, to get the word out there. They shop from us, recommend us to others, share our posts and give us guidance. A couple friends have done wondrous things for us that elevated us. And, they asked for nothing in return.
But I have those acquaintances that tell me: āOh, I need to order something.ā and they never do. They ask if they can come and pick it up from the office and never place an order or respond to an email to coordinate a time to come and shop. They tell me they canāt afford my product, yet show off more expensive products they did buy. To those people, I want them to know: I SEE YOU!
The next 3 months will be crucial. I must sell through a lot of old product to make room for new items. A revenue boost will allow us to introduce new packaging and formulas even sooner. Come summer, we will likely only be seen at Andersonville MidsommarFest and Jarvis Square Music + Arts Fest. We will consider Renegade and Show of Hands if possible.
If you have not checked us out, please do. You will see why we do have some very loyal customers that LOVE our products.
Thank you for letting me rant, complain and simply get things off my chest

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Itās back and itās better!!
WāāF Ā Ā (WARNING! Ā No āPretty Boysā here.)
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Dreams may need to come to an end
This is extremely painful to even consider, but I may more seriously have to consider closing down my business. In todayās business climate the barriers in front of a genuine self-funded start-up are enormous.
It is looked down upon to take your savings and invest in yourself and your ideas. To take the risk and bring something new, different or demanded to the marketplace without being told you need to spend thousands of dollars to even earn a whisper of attention. One can no longer open up a shop, put up some posters and make handbills and have people come to your door to buy from you. And if marketing is not your strong suit, donāt even waste your time.
I have been building with momentum for a few years but the last 18 months have been a mixed bag of awesomeness and extreme pain. The pain is winning.
Having honest fans for what you do is beyond wonderful; it gives you warm fuzzies all over knowing that you made someone elseās day better because of what you do. When a total stranger geeks out about meeting you there are no words to describe it. Making a modest impact on anyone is worth being your swan song, what better can you do after that?
The pains of getting people to merely notice you is stressful and depressing. One needs every bit of positive energy to keep going. Those that like what you are doing normally would sing their praises to their people, but today they donāt. Getting people to review your business is like asking them to sign a contract with you that forever binds them to you.
Friends... having your own business allows your true friends to stand out. It also allows you to see how many of your friends are not really your friends. Maybe they are jealous of what you are accomplishing, but honestly I donāt believe that. I feel they are too self absorbed to acknowledge what you are doing as it will distract them from the attention they wish to give themselves. I literally said good-bye to dozens of people who I thought were friends, who would be happy for me, to cheer me on. There was never a demand that they financially support my business, but merely be emotionally supportive. You would think that they would want to believe in me, and instead they demonstrated how little they believe in anyone other than themselves.
The business climate is such that you need every tiny bit of support you can get. From those that will speak kindly of what you are doing to being excited enough to try your business out and becoming a customer.
It was never expected of friends to be loyal customers. I just ask that they checkout what I am doing and maybe give something a try. Those I thought were very dear friends couldnāt be bothered with even walking past me when I was vending at a festival. Oh, I saw them, they were there, but they walked right past. Excuse given by others to make me feel better was that the place was very busy and they may not have seen us. These are friends that have my phone number and are on Facebook that could have asked (if they had not seen the posts I made and invite I sent) through a message where my space was located. This is stuff friends do!
To have the hard work I did to carve a unique niche and introduce an innovative product stolen to generate profits for their business hurts. To not have the means to take legal action because you are not generating the revenue to pay for a lawyer is crushing. I go on Facebook and get tons of advertisements thrown at me by competitors trying to get me to buy the results their thievery is humiliating. Even worse, to have a competitor use your exact formula for the product and they promote how their product is better than what I am selling.....
The next month I will heavily consider the idea of bringing all of this to an end. To look at what I can do to turn my feelings around, or to see a boost in interest in my business, or a boost in revenues. Otherwise, I will start the process of producing as much product as I can with existing raw goods and sell through all inventory. During such time I will seek a full time position somewhere and put the hard work and determination I have into working for somebody else.
Over the last 6 years I have burned through my savings, maxed out all my credit cards and tried every reasonable suggestion on how to grow my business. I am exhausted. It is sad to love what you do and have others that love what you are doing yet you are unable to climb the next step because it is too high. Knowing that is meant to be that way to stop small businesses from getting bigger unless they have substantial funds to pay your way there.
Now, it is wrong to assume that my business was not profitable. It has been very profitable. The problem is that the profits are a percentage of revenue. Lower total revenue equals lower total profits. Sales volume is the problem and every step we took to achieve higher volume fell flat. We have spent massive amounts of money on advertising which has led to zero increase in sales. Our biggest means to acquire new customers has been through our Pop-Ups and Festival appearances. Due to the related factors of festivals we are losing money on doing them. This year and last, attendance has been down, most vendors are seeing lower sales and the weather has caused other loses due to damaged product. Creams, lotions, soaps and pretty much everything we do can easily be destroyed by 90 degree weather and intense sun. It also takes a lot of work to make them happen.
Even if I choose to not close this all down, festivals will not be a part of our future. We will spend the money we paid for participation in those festivals into advertising. If we can gain a % return on our investment in advertising will do us better than any festival appearance.
Even if I do close it all down, it will not change my friendships and how I look at friends. Those who demonstrated what great friends they are will remain very dear to me, those others who went out of their way to show how little they care will not be welcomed back as if everything is good now.
I will spend the next few weeks looking into opening new channels for sales and plan for a successful holiday season. If a clearance sale happens, it will be our New Year sale.
So I run my own gay tshirt company hardcasetees, which features shirts that focus on satirizing brands and making shirts that help promote regional issues with the LGBTQ+ here.
Lockwood51 has been a major inspiration for my brand - and I still love their style and ideas.
So imagine my surprise when I open up Instagram and find theyāve done one of my designs as a hat. They posted their product about two weeks ago. Iāve had my product up for 6 months.
Upon contact, the design of it was coincidental, but I was just letting them know that I had made it first, maybe a shoutout would be sweet.
Yeah, no. They were not sweet about it. They were more worried about my fans blocking them and damaging their account that supporting a fellow queer artist. I have time stamps of when the file was made and even featured it on my insta, but no, itās more on ātheir brandā and they made it first.
What sucks is not only have I lost an inspiration, but that I know Iāll lose followers for posting this. Some people would rather back them up and keep buying their clothes than support me. I could only respond to them with a hope that they encounter people just ācoincidentallyā making their stuff and selling it as their own. I canāt make them understand how a copyright works or what it feels like to have a fave brand cop them out.
So there you have it. This happens all too happen in the little-leagues of creative retail. Let it be a reminder.
I have been dealing with a similar issue with a beard care product I invented and introduced to the market place. Not only is the formula copied but the trademark name I gave to it. The thieves are even bold enough to disparage my product to promote theirs. One copycat was even pathetic enough to copy my business's About Us page, verbatim, from our website to promote they're brand. Yet I'm struggling to grow my business while they make money off my invention and trademark.
Apologies
I have been sitting on the content of this post for quite some time and am finally able to put it out there. I donāt care who sees it, who reads it and most importantly your opinion.
I turned 50 this year. Despite the number, I never felt my age until this year. I feel it physically and emotionally, but not in my attitudes or wisdom. Those are still extreme opposites that by far do not match my age.
With age comes more wisdom. Some of us ignore it, or donāt learn from their life journey and others read too much into it. Over the last 5 years or so I have learned one huge lesson that has continued to claw at me; bringing me to tears as I mourn the loss that this lesson presents. The lesson is that my view of the friendships I had was an illusion.
People who professed how much they thought of me, even loved me, vanished. Well, they did not literally vanish, but the connection I thought we shared was no longer there. I do share a part of the responsibility with some, but most of them outright shut me out, ignored me; in effect ghosted me. They stopped responding to messages, refused invites and even became distant in person if I ran into them.
With social media being a go-to communicator for most, it is there where the ghosting was obvious. Every attempt to include them led to zero results. Invites for dinners, birthdays, cook-outs, parties, local events and more. Big or small, the invites were ignored.
Over times I tried to find out what I did. Without feedback it allows my mind to answer all the questions. I reflected over each of the key friendships I saw as meaningful, long lasting and dear - the people who said they loved me and I have expressed my love for them. Understanding that some people that fell under the label of being a friend were actually just an acquaintance. Of them, some were those who I felt had potential for a closer friendship, others I can easily see that there was never going to be anything more that a passing connection.
So my mind raced with answers to the why and how our friendships vanished. Some had possible real answers that I could address if given the chance. With these friends, there is no obvious or even veiled misunderstanding that comes from hurtful or unintentional negative behavior on my part. Not saying that it may not exist, but if they cannot tell me what I did then I cannot better myself or the situation. Again, these are people who were very close friends that were pretty much like family. The kind of friends that would give you a chance to make things better. There were no arguments, no directed hateful comments, no betrayals of trust - just one day they are engaged as a part of your life and then next thing you know there is an invisible wall between us. Even if they feel I had not reached out to them, they have taken no opportunity to respond to any attempt to engage them through all of this. So, I am writing an open apology that reflects my nature, my feelings and my soul. To put it mildly I am hurting...
I am sorry...
That I may have done something that has hurt you. I wish to have an opportunity to make things better. I am not sure what I did, but at least I would like to know what it was so we can both go our separate ways and I can ensure I do my best to not repeat such behavior again.
I am sorry that I am a strong personality. I was born to a large family where you had to yell to be heard, or even seen. I am sorry I am quiet as I was often made fun of for things I say and attacked for expressing how I feel. I am sorry that I may have become too attached to you as I lived a life often being abandoned by people so I strongly gravitate to those who show an interest in me. I am sorry my excitement may have shown that I am more romantically interested in you or my being quiet demonstrated that I was not romantically interested in you. When my mind is strongly stimulated I express myself more openly and when it is not I pull into myself and not say much for fear of being misunderstood.
I am sorry I am forgetful. There are a few physiological reasons why that I wish I had control over. So with that, I am sorry for having Parkinsonās disease and having dealt with severe trauma as a very young child that led to memory issues. These same issues, as well as others, impact my overall personality as well. I am sorry that I suffer from anxiety. When I get upset or get hurt it manifests itself in less than a positive way. I get angry, or am easily agitated. I try to bite my tongue and not say hurtful things, so I shut down and suffer those consequences instead.
I am sorry I may look unhappy when I actually am in good spirits. It is also linked to the above. When I am at peace with things, I do not express much through my face and body language. I am sorry I can see a little over-the-top when I am very happy. When with people I care about and feel at ease with my outer skin breaks away and I genuinely feel I can be myself. I am sorry that I am an introvert and have social anxiety. I am sorry that it seems that I am introvert and confident person when we are together; it means I feel comfortable with you and that you are not going to make fun of me in a hurtful way. I am sorry that I try my best to overcome these traits as I wish to be more outgoing and will do my best to what I need to do when the times comes.
I am sorry I have a dry sense of humor. I grew up with a lot of influences into my humor and most of it is sarcastic dry wit. I am sorry I can be sad and hurt easily as I put trust in people that I become friends with that they will not wish to inflict harm upon me. I am sorry I donāt tolerate being made the butt of your jokes. I lived a like being a punching bag verbally and physically by family, friends and strangers. I am sorry that I was abused in such ways as well as sexually at a young age. Because of that, I am sorry that I am not āinstant onā when it comes to sex or donāt wish to make our only connection sexual. I am sorry I need to warm up to being that intimate with someone. I am sorry that I did not make the first move as still have trouble reading the signs.
I am sorry I am not skinny. I relied upon food to feed my emotions when dealing with all the pain I dealt with. I am sorry I am not fatter, as I wish to be overall healthy and tend to have a balance of energy level to calorie consumption that has kept me roughly where I am. I am sorry I am not more muscular, being fat I was made to feel less than by those who are in shape. I am sorry I did not work out more because I was not comfortable being around those who would make fun of me. I am sorry I am hairy and bearded, I hate shaving and feel comfortable with what I have. I am sorry that I do not have more hair on my body, as I have no control over my genetics. I am sorry for being bald and gray; itās not as if I like it myself.
I am sorry I am intelligent and aware of my world. Acquiring knowledge has always been a thing for me; especially in regards to science and history. I am sorry I am not smarter, due to above mentioned issues my memory retention suffers and I struggle recalling what I do know. I am sorry that when I stutter or pause while thinking that it implies I am an idiot as it is also something I have no control over; it is not something I enjoy and is rather painful for me when it happens. I am sorry I have varied interests and wish to talk about more than pop culture.
I am sorry that I donāt dress as fashionably as you would like; I feel comfortable and am capable of dressing in any manner that is appropriate for the situation. I am sorry I am poor, I have been my whole life. With the abuse and other issues I never felt confident enough to push myself harder. I am sorry that when I did push myself harder it was not hard enough for you. I am sorry I did not do more as well as I am sorry I did too much. Being an awkward kid who wanted friends I would easily share whatever I had with those who seemed genuine. I am sorry that am scarred by those who took advantage of me. I am sorry if I took advantage of you in any way. Not that I think I have, but it is not like me to not reciprocate or even give freely to my friends. I am sorry I donāt have all thew newest and flashiest of gadgets. I am sorry I donāt want to play video games when being social.
I am sorry I may have fallen in love with you. I get so excited with new friends and people who really get me that I can become very emotionally attached. Yes, I consider that love but it does not mean I was expecting a romantic relationship with you. I am sorry I did not fall in love with you as I knew that we were friends and I had the belief based upon conversations that there was not to be more; or I did not read the signs that things changed or it was an interest on your part. Again, I am sorry I suck a reading things and need it to be verbally communicated. I am sorry I am poly, it comes from being alone and hurt so much that I find it easier to share myself with more than one person in a romantic relationship. I am sorry I did not invite you to be a part of my relationship, as it requires conversations with all of those affected to take part and cannot be one-sided. I am sorry that I did not know you were interested.
I am sorry that I did not know you were interested. Yes, I need to say it again but for a broader meaning. I am sorry that you liked me, really liked me, and that I did not react in kind. Again, it needs to be communicated verbally due to other issues. I am sorry I did not express my interest in you for anything other than friendship. Because, I am sorry that I was not interested in anything more then friendship. I am sorry I did not make a move on you for sex - the reasons are well covered above. I am sorry that you felt I did not find you attractive. My definition of what is and is not attractive is so meaningless in regards to friendship or anything more intimate. Any definition of physical attractiveness is not a factor for me. I am sorry you assumed I did not like you. I am not sure how to address that when I am speaking to someone that I tried to include into aspects of my life. I do not consider people I do not like as a friend and would not invite them to things if I did not like them. I am sorry that I didnāt invite you to a specific dinner, party, event or etc. I am sorry I did not think you were interested in the activity; I am sorry I could not invite everyone. I am sorry that you feel your exclusion was a single message of how I feel about you. I am sorry I made friends with someone you do not like. The nuances and facets that are related to what connects people varies so widely that it is only logical that we all make friends with different mixes of people. I am sorry you feel that my other friend does not like you. You may be right, but that is not a reasonable justification to be upset with me. I am sorry that I was not aware that this other friend hurt you or did something very harmful to you. If I was made aware of the situation I would have certainly acted differently. I am sorry I do not support sycophants or cult like friendships, I truly believe in embracing the individual and will not overlook negative behaviors just because they areĀ āpopularā. I am sorry that I donāt like your friend. The reasons are between me and them and it is not my place (nor theirs) to influence our friendship. I am sorry your friend has an issue with me. I am sorry that their opinion of me is more important that your own.
I am sorry I have a past that may not hold up to your expectations. I am sorry I am not perfect in any capacity; I donāt believe perfection is a reality. I am sorry that someoneās experience with me in the past was less than ideal and that it has an impact on our friendship. I am sorry my exes aired dirty laundry. I am sorry that some of what they said was a biased point of view based on facts; I am sorry they lied to you. I am sorry that I am in a relationship with a man I love very much and that he loves me. I am sorry that you have/had a crush on my husband. I am sorry that you feel my husband is a jerk, liar, slut, pig, ass - whatever. I am sorry that you feel my relationship threatens yours; or has any impact upon yours. I am sorry that your partner was in a relationship at one point in time with my partner. I am sorry that my partner has a past. It is 100% his and I donāt hold his past against him.
I am sorry you are jealous. It is such a shame that you are unable to address those feelings so we can continue as friends.
I am sorry that all of my interests are not the same as yours. I am sorry that my fandom is not at the level of yours. I am sorry that we donāt have everything in common. I am sorry that I donāt put a higher importance on having such shared interests. I am sorry I like to learn new things from friends and hope they learn new things from me.
I am sorry my jobs have gotten in the way of us doing things together. I am sorry that my income level is such that I may not be able to go on trips with you are dine out with you at times. I am sorry that I missed having fun with you while I had to work or tend to other responsibilities. I am sorry that I had worked early morning weekend shifts making staying out late was counterproductive to my job. I am sorry that I started my own business. I am sorry that I thought you would be excited for me. I am sorry that I thought you would wish the best for me in my efforts.
I am sorry that I may have missed something important to you. I am sorry that I may not have shown the right level of excitement. I am sorry you thought I was jealous of your good news, even if I was I would not be happy for you.
I am sorry you feel I am a burden. I am sorry you think so little of me. I am sorry I tried to make you a part of my life. I am sorry I invited you to my home. I am sorry I invited you on trips with me. I am sorry I gave/loaned you money. I am sorry I paid for your dinner and movie when you were tight on cash. I am sorry I said Happy Birthday. I am sorry I felt bad when bad things happened to you. I am sorry that when you were hurt I wanted to hurt those who hurt you. I am sorry that when you were sad, I was sad. I am sorry I cooked dinners for you as it is something I love doing for those I like. I am sorry that I made myself available for you when you needed me
I am sorry that I thought we were friends. I am sorry that I felt we had a connection. I am sorry that I thought I had your trust. I am sorry that I did not do more, I am sorry I did too much. I am sorry that I could not find that right balance and always do the right thing for you. I am sorry I was unable to recognize that something was wrong between us soon enough. I am sorry I donāt know what I did wrong. I am sorry that I donāt care for fair weather friends; that youāre a friend at all times and not just when things are good for you. I am sorry that I was not always upbeat, perky and positive in every engagement with you. I am sorry I had good days and bad days. I am sorry I could be there for you on your bad days, or when you were feeling down. Iām sorry you felt I was being a burden when I shared my bad days.
I am sorry I put up with you mistreating me. I am sorry I let another person take advantage of me. I am sorry that you feel I am such a horrible person that you could not even say āno thank youā to. I am sorry that you think that I blame you, even when I tell you there is no blame. I am sorry that I believed your lies. I am sorry that I accepted your crazed outbursts and manic behavior when you were upset about your breakup. I am sorry I thought we were still friends after you scared the fuck out me. I am sorry I overlooked you hitting and beating up a nice guy because you were not able to cope with your losses. I am sorry that I could not fix you.
Most of all I am sorry I cared and sorry that I let you hurt me like this. Iām sorry that I am not sorry enough.
You may have not pulled the trigger but you are not innocent of the crime.
I read a lengthy post by the CEO of a small business defending his remarks shaming Republicans for voting for Trump. His statement reads how he has voted Republican since his dad pinned an āI Like Ikeā button on his shirt when he was young. He further expands on all the justifiable reasons to not have supported Trump during his campaign and attempts to call out Republicans who did as being blind to the obvious red flags over Trump.
I will attempt to not attack this in the fine details, but in the broadest means to show how by voting Republican for the last 50 years supported the system that led to Trump running and winning the election in 2016.
First, voting by party is a moronic and uneducated means to selecting a candidate. It permits weaker leadership and questionable people to get into roles of power. To not question a candidateās stance on every policy, regardless of their party affiliation, is failing at being a good citizen. To also be a āsingle issue voterā is even more dangerous. To ignore every other stance a candidate has on every issue and how it will affect not only you and your family but all families throughout the area where the candidateās position will have influence. So, that means if you are voting for a US Senator you need to be mindful of their position on issues that could negatively affect people in another state as their voting could have a huge negative affect on families elsewhere even though you are not affected at all. We are all connected, and as a nation if we break something in one region it can cascade to affect issue in other areas. Voting against a farm relief bill that would help farmers in the Midwest could lead to higher prices for the food people need across the nation. Higher food prices leads to people spending less money on other items which will impact other goods and services. Again, keep this on the surface and basic. Being a āsingle issue voterā means you may elect that candidate to office who is against abortion and that satisfies your personal values but that candidate could very likely be against assistance for the poor and elderly, wishes to cut funding for education and believes we need to use military action on other countries that do not share our countryās political system. So a win for your beliefs on abortion but we now have a Senator that is cuts funding for you childās school, which leads to higher local taxes and a lower quality of education. Your new Senator also supports sending our Army to Central America to invade a country to remove their leader from power, who was put into power by US interests to begin with. The military action destabilizes the country and causes intense strife for itās citizens as US backed ārebelsā fight the current āregimeā. Innocent families die because of this. The money that could have gone to education is spent paying to start a war because we did not like their President any longer.
Republicans like to say they are conservative, yet they waste money. It is not conservative to cut taxes at the federal level and not be mindful of where the money is going. Conservative is being frugal, to spend wisely today so you can spend less tomorrow. To replace an decaying bridge and ensure it is built well is less expensive than not even repairing the bridge and wait for it to collapse, killing people and negatively impacting the economies of the communities that bridge serves. It is not conservative to cut education spending, make advancing the education of the people more expensive and harder to achieve and then claim we do not have enough workers with the right knowledge and skills required. It is not conservative to cut funding to mental health care, food programs and general assistance to the poor and decry the situations in urban environments caused by the people being under served. It has been proven over and over again that in a society where people are helped, genuinely get aid where they need it most, that crime goes down and communities improve. The real conservative value would be to spend the money on education, aid for the poor and offering health care for everyone would be far less expensive than throwing money at a war on drugs and militarizing the police. A general sense of wellness among the people improves their situation.
After Eisenhower left office, after supporting many progressive values, by being a true conservative we have seen the Republican party decline and forming alliances with all the wrong groups. Southerners disgusted by the Civil Rights Act of 1964 were embraced as malleable people who would blindly vote Republican after being ālet down by the Democratsā and their support for the Civil Rights Act. To reach these now disenfranchised Democrats the Republican leadership went to the churches in the South to motivate the people to vote for Nixon. This is when elections went from having candidates that would be good for the people and the country to being self-serving entities to ensure that their party won at any cost.
The Republican Party post World War II saw a huge opportunity. The party was now infused with a lot of powerful financial interests who made some good money off the war and profited well from the Great Depression. These corporate interests did not like paying taxes. They tried again to influence the government to leave them alone. Their opinion was that government had no right or responsibility to tax a corporation or to regulate. That by being a corporation in itself gave them that immunity. And, to be truthful that is a grain of fact to support that. Itās a muddy topic and goes back to the Industrial Revolution. Just putting this here as a sort of footnote.
With this renewed focus of the Republican party they also took notes from the Russian and German propaganda machines on how to get blind support of the people to support whatever crazy scheme they could hatch up. With all this money flowing their way by corporations who did not line The New Deal and anything else Roosevelt put through to lift up our nation after corporations caused great damage, the party now needed to get its followers. All the money in the world would not get the people into offices without having voters to put them there.
Using every tactic possible, playing to fears and twisting emotions after World War II the Republicans started their work to get as many people into positions in every part of the country they could who supported their pro-Corporate agenda. This is 1950s America. We had the Red Scare to help. Fear is always a great tool to motivate people and the Republicans loved just as much as the Third Reich did, just as much as Lenin and Stalin did. Fear that the ācommiesā were going to destroy our country and burn down our churches. This was very effective at getting people to support your āpublicā agenda. Little by little the Republicans gained support, but not enough support in enough places. The South was staunchly Democratic and that relationship goes way back to when the Democrats were the party of the wealthy. There were many issues Democrats supported way back when that was beneficial and supportive to rural and agricultural areas. Being that the South, especially at that time, was very much agricultural industry and pretty much all rural. But when the Democrats gave rights to blacks, the South was pissed to say the least. A history of institutionalized racism as a foundational element that was not only embraced by the people but the churches as well. This was the perfect opportunity for the Republicans to get their support and get them into local and state offices to start the work towards their eventual goal.
By embracing the Fundamentalism and quietly supporting the institutionalized racism that the new Southern Republicans brought with them, it was a marriage of values, ethics and beliefs made in Hell. While the status quo Republicans saw party wins and increased power in the South at all levels, these new Southern Republicans saw a way to instill their deep rooted beliefs within the masses through Government. Each side was using the other to advance their own agenda and playing ignorant to all bad parts. The Corporate Republicans did not care because it gained them power and in the right places. The Fundamentalist Southern Republicans saw a means to spread the word of their Lord and make laws that were deeply based in their beliefs.
This marriage gave us some ugly offspring. This gave us Reagan. A man who was able to blend his business and religious values well. He still held some reasonable, āgood olā Americanā values which made him very palatable to the masses. His simple take on Americana was the right image at the right time after coming through a time that divided many people. It was a song and a dance number while Reagan worked to serve corporate interests. He damaged workerās rights, cut taxes and cut funding to many basic programs needed by the people throughout the country. Corporate American loved him and the people felt that he was uplifting the spirit of the nation. Meanwhile cities and states had to scramble to keep providing those much needed programs. Taxes went up locally and to save money states stopped spending on infrastructure. The belief was that the bridges, roads, levies and dams were not broken so we can wait until they break to fix them.
Many of us know what happened. People in the cities saw crime jump along with their taxes while their wages became frozen. Factories closed, people were ādownsizedā in huge numbers as the Corporations moved operations to other parts of the country where they can pay people less or moved the work to factories in other countries to save even more money. All the while the savings were funneled to the top and those making all the money at the top had lower taxes to pay.
The other win for the Republicans was that in urban areas of the North, where they were not getting much influence, were able to create the āTax and Spend Democratā rhetoric. Property taxes, sales taxes, local income taxes all went up in the cities to help pay for the basic services because they no longer received enough Federal funding. The loss of jobs in the cities caused a burden on finances as well with increased crime and demand for social services. Republican candidates spoke to the masses blaming the Democrats for raising their taxes and āwastingā money on programs for āthose other peopleā. They also started the attack on Democrats for not being tough on crime by not spending more money on police. The masses ate it up. States quickly saw increased Republican influence in city hall and state legislatures. By pushing through their āconservativeā lie, they cut funding to schools, to parks, to streets, to seniors and every other program they could. Meanwhile they instituted judicial policies that dramatically increased incarceration of people and built more prisons. I should not need to remind you what people were affected the most by these policies. The fact is, the Republicans destabilized our communities through initiating the loss of jobs and social safety nets. They depleted the tax base while cutting taxes. That means they created a system where there was less income revenue to tax and cut the percentage they taxed. Meanwhile the people were forced to pay more while making less. This created the cycle of empty promises being sold with a pretty ribbon. The Republicans kept playing to the fears of the people.
Come the new Millennium and you see the next tier of this master plan. We now have a huge disproportionate distribution of wealth. The near end game of the Republican conservative lie was to amass the wealth within their inner circle of privileged people and blame all the problems on the poor. You now have a class of people who refuse to accept they are poor and think that they can be a part of the inner circle. Then there are the people who are still single issue voters who place blinders on the fact that they have created this monster. And, you have the disenfranchised poor and lower class that feel they are powerless to do anything to make a difference.
The two faces of a Republican are now one. They are the Corporate Shills to live on the money they wealthy throw at them as much as they are the Fundamentalist who feels that there is no law other than the Law of God. Yes, not all are 100% this merger of ideals but as long as they carry the badge of being a conservative they are a part of this Beast.
Trump was not the cause, is definitely not the cure. His is the child of the Beast. He was born under the core values of the late 20th Century Republican of God and Money, or Money is God.
By always voting Republican you cannot claim that you had no part of what happened. Just because you did not vote for Trump you do not get to escape blame for the hate that exists today in our country. You spent 40 years or more enabling weak manipulative people into offices at every level. You empowered those that who not so quietly embraced hate and greed year after year. By blindly going to the ballot and selecting the Republican without educating yourself on their history, their values and understanding the impact on society for even the values you shared you created this environment. Most of all, by accepting the rhetoric cast by Republicans without seeking the real story you enabled ALL of this. Just because you donāt like the current leader you cannot escape the fact that you groomed the environment that he came out of.
Not only did your blind single issue voting give us this ignorant hateful Monster, but you gave a platform for those who are enabling him at the highest levels to exist. Your straight ticket voting gave us the Paul Ryan, Rafael Cruz, McConnell, Graham, Sessions as well as the men behind the scenes who worked to get them where they are at.
You may not have pulled the trigger that put Trump into office, but you will never be able absolve yourself from this mess. The blood of every person that has died because of what Republicans have done is still on your hands. You donāt get to back away from this and say it is not your fault. It is as much your fault as it is Trumps. You cannot be a part of the plan and walk away the day before it goes into place and say that you had nothing to do with what happened.
If your sensibilities are such that you feel Trump was going too far, what have you done to those who are defending him? How much pressure, as a business owner, have you put on your Senator, Congressmen, Governor or State Reps to combat every part of this agenda that is in action? Being that this business is in Wisconsin, I am sure you voted for Scott Walker since you always vote only Republican. This man holds so many of the same values that Trump holds. Mr Walker has openly supported Trumpās actions. He holds dear the oppression of the poor and people of color, he fights against workers rights and supports cutting taxes for corporations and the wealthy that has placed a much larger financial burden of the people of your state. You need to see how wasteful and harmful those conservative values are to the people of this country. How during a time when we had the biggest growth as a nation and could have been a shining example of the potential democracy and the people of its republic can achieve. Instead we wasted 50+ years of funneling money to the wealthy and stomping on our neighbors. We have allowed a twisted, retarded and hateful version of Christianity to support hate and intolerance. Where we could have keep the post WWII progress going and had lasting peace throughout the world a vocal minority in this country uplifted the worst of our kind and now that it is full installed in our highest branches of our governing bodies you are saying you are free of blame and can even try to act offended? Sorry, itās too late for that.
What are you going to do now? How are we going to get out from under this without bloodshed and further division of our people? How are you going to work with your neighbors, regardless of beliefs and skin color, to get us back on track to being a prosperous nation founded to embrace the freedoms and liberties of ALL the people? Offering a sale on your products with a large statement telling us how you dislike Trump is not doing it.

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How the fuck did we let him surpass Whitney
It was the straights and you goddamn know it.
This is a dark timeline.
Whitney may have sung it, but Dolly gets to deposit the checks.
Anonymity
does not exist anymore. everyone can be found
since some weak, immature people feel the only way to can speak up and have a voice to attack someone is through anonymity I feel that they are about as useful as a sewer rat. Only good at sifting through trash and spreading disease. If you are trying to show how mature you are, then step up your game and stop wallowing in the swamp.
I don't appreciate your contribution to that post. Frankly I think it's incredibly entitled of you and your attitude was disrespectful beyond belief.
Tough. You feel it is OK to question others but not dare question you? You are showing your privilege and arrogance - along with your ego. You called someone out for doing what you do. You are a hateful mean spirited person in your post while trying to pretend you are a good person. You are without respect for others, why should others respect you?

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Hate is hate
So I guess I pissed off a young lady for calling her out on being ageist and disrespectful.
Discriminatory or derogatory remarks about age, gender, race or any other category of people is hate. Plain, simple HATE. To do so in a manner that dehumanizes them, to apply a negative stereotype does nothing to make this a better place for all.
When being called out for doing such in an honest fashion leads to more hateful and derogatory remarks to be sent personally to me does not make you any better of a person. It only further validates that you are a person who rather push forward an agenda of hate over one of tolerance and acceptance.
Hate does not defeat hate, only creates more hate.
There are so many people hurting in this world. Many are hurting purely because of the hate that is placed upon them. This needs to stop! Today! We canāt sustain our existence or ever achieve peace if this type of hate is tolerated. How do we then decide what hate rhetoric is OK and what is not. Where do we draw a line of what people it is OK to hurt and which ones we should protect? My option is to call those out who hate, hold a mirror to their face and let them see who they really are.
This may make me unpopular with some. I know too many people who rest comfortable in their privileged world who think they are the champions of peace and love when they will turn their eyes away from other forms of discrimination and hate.
While some may think this is a passive role, that I am being permissive to those who are perpetuating or are considered the initiators of hate. To you I say that you are blind to my message. That I am not asking you to be tolerant of hate, I asking that your are intolerant of all forms of hate.
You do not have to like a person, or even support their life choices, you do not have to let them into your inner circle - but you have no right to lessen their quality of life because they are different than you!
Now to be clear, I am not making it OK to be one locked into a system of hate like nazis and such. I am not saying that their rights to free speech are to be validated. Hate is hate... if they are speaking of denying otherās rights, freedoms or peace then they do not deserve to have their voice heard if that is their only voice. Freedoms end when you are working to deny others their freedoms. Rights end when they infringe upon the rights of another.
So, I really hope this young lady looks into the mirror and sees that she carries too much hate and needs to let go of her negative ageist attitudes.
I actually love the ungrateful millennial trope, because I went to the V&A today and took a lot of photos of statuesā butts, and it tired me out, so I went to the cafĆ© and had a cup of tea. In the V&A cafĆ©, thereās a piano that customers can just use without asking, and a man sat down at it and started to play. I know nothing about music, but it sounded great to me.
At the table next to me was an old couple, probably in their late 60s, and the man kept tutting and sighing as the chap played, and I heard him mutter to his wife, āthis is a [insert musty dead white composer here], there should be more MELODY,ā and he just kept griping.
Now, to me, an ignorant and uncultured millennial, it just seemed super cool that we were essentially getting a free piano accompaniment to our Earl Grey, and so I stayed a while to listen, because this guy had some balls getting up there to play in front of us all, and I wanted him to feel appreciated. I also live tweeted it, and the old man kept glaring at me for being on the phone. I kid you not.
When he was done, we all (including the grumpy old man) applauded for him, and he looked really surprised. I thought Iād let him know how much I loved it, because I have terrible social anxiety and am trying to get out of my shell a bit, so I approached him and said āI know nothing about music, but I really enjoyed hearing you play,ā and he BEAMED.
Turns out that heās a concert pianist over from Toronto and we essentially got treated to a free preview of his concert tomorrow night. We chatted for a bit and then I left, and the old couple still looked really grouchy.
But hey. Ungrateful millennials!!
Trust me. Millennials have been so deprived, you can give them a free napkin and they will cry. Old people have been so spoiled that you can literally give them a free symphony and they will bitch about it. Nothing satisfies old people.
Because, like no millennial ever complained about an artistās performance - even when the artist is performing their own material. Iām sure they have never made really crass and hateful comments in regards to a singer being too āpitchyā or the chords the guitarist is playing are pedestrian. Nah, this never happens... So this young lady encountered a critic who was still polite and respectful to show appreciation for the performance they did not genuinely find to be that awesome. The āold manā was familiar with the work and expressed his opinion of the performance that was given (as overheard). He applauded at the end. He may have not thought highly of the performance but showed appreciation by applauding. He did not get up and leave, go complain to a manager or shout them down to get them to stop - behaviors many people exhibit, including by younger people.
Yet, this young personās post reacts as if this āold manā behaved in such a harsh or rude manner. They apply generational hyperbole to enforce a stereotype about generations that is unfounded and solely based upon opinion. She does not see that her actions here are very much in line with the behaviors she is complaining about. She is humming and huffing just like the old man. The difference is, she is not applauding afterwards. In fact she is doing this so she can be applauded. She wants you to know how awesome she is, how much better than another she is; all for you to jump on and agree so she can be rewarded for herĀ āpositiveā actions and the old man can be seen as a villain with hisĀ ānegativeā actions.
She shows not to care for the depth of the reality or care to acknowledge that basic human behavior related to tastes are exhibited in her example. She was focus on that brevity of the person for willing to perform (only then to learn the person is a professional - therefor getting up to perform in front of strangers is a norm for them and not as brave as she wanted to believe). She had no idea what piece of music was being performed, not how well or accurately the piece was being presented, it was all wrapped around the fact that this brave soul got up to play music in a cafe to strangers then to only learn that they were given a sample of the artistās future performance. I am sure if she was familiar with the music and itās nuances, that she would have had an opinion (positive or negative) about the performance. Letās say the artist got up to play something she knew well and felt that the performance lacked something in relation to how she perceives the music is to be performed and later found out the performer is in a band and will be playing that song the next night at a club. Would she have been as open and honest about her feelings in the situation? Would she have even bothered to post it. Or, would she have complained that some guy got up to play in the care and ruined a song she likes? Ultimately, would she have applauded at the end regardless of what she thought of the performance. In essence, would she have shown the same level of courtesy?
This is what happens when we are all about āMEā and less about others. Her tone tries to make a stranger that she already has a predisposed negative opinion of simply because of their age (she is ageist!) as being a villain. She makes herself to be a hero by speaking to how she spoke with the performer to let them know how she appreciated them. She was patting herself on the back while trying to make someone else look bad. She did not weigh her own facts, unable to put herself in anotherās place, compare what she is experiencing to situations she has been in before. She lacks empathy. She lacks respect. Sorry, not everyone is going to like the same things you like. Others are not going to see the same things the way you do. Instead of focusing on your enjoyment you opted to focus on someone elseās experience.
To be honest, in any dining situation I do not care to hear any performer play live that was not scheduled or expected. I am a huge music lover but I find such on-a-whim performances distracting to the environment. I am feel obligated to give them my full attention when I would rather give attention to those with me, my book, or whatever activity I opted to enjoy at the establishment. Now, if it is a situation where this is a scheduled activity that was announced then I am the one that must decide to leave or accept the performance. But if itās some average person jumping up to play music, and especially if there is music already playing through a sound system, then I would be annoyed. I would not make a scene, I would finish my beverage, quietly gather my things and move on.