i was never nothing.

#THISISGUCCI

independent & semi-selective Aj and the Queen's Damien Sanchez, kept alive by melli (she/her, 30) since 2020. crossovers with many fandoms can happen. IMs open to all. mature content tagged #nsfw at all times. a/b/o will be tagged #omegaverse. i am slow, but i love u all so come to me & let me love u.

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“i would like the garden salad with the dressing on the side. why would i want fries with that? it’s a salad. s c r e w it. yeah, give me the fries with that. you only live once, right?”

the mask he’d been gifted for this luxurious & very exclusive event was golden, carved from the finest material & most gallant swarovski crystals were scattered across it. he felt somewhat safe with it, so the inhibitions that usually kept him at bay were somewhat … loosened. his date, though, seemed upset that damien was the one turning heads. admittedly, the mask did very little to distract from his fit, toned body - so here he was, getting crowded almost instantly since he’d set foot into this place. soft music was playing, people could be heard chattering … or .. not quite that.

he wasn’t even sure who he was looking for when he turned one guy after another down with a polite little nod & apologetic smile on his handsome face. he still missed robert, but he also knew that that wasn’t exactly his type - or was it? did he even have a type? how could he know when he’d never loved a man before? his … so-called boyfriend for this month was quite busy glowering from the seat next to him, so damien pressed gentle lips against the man’s reddened ear & excused himself for a moment. he needed air.

Peter chuckled. “Against a horde? No, I don’t fight loosing battles and no one can win against a horde. If the size is fightable though? Sure.” He replied getting up to take a bottle of water from a box and drink from it. “Fighting a horde is suicide unless you have hundreds of bombs and, as you know, we don’t have those these days.

At the acceptance he smiled pleased. “Great,” he said taking another sip from his water.

It was then that someone interrupted them. A boy stood before their table. “Sir Hale?” The kid called waiting to be acknowledged and once he was he went on. “There’s a group that hasn’t come back yet and they told me to come for you and ask you if you could go look for them.”  Peter sighed, it was as if talking about what he usually did around invoked that exact situation to arise.

“Fine, fine. This man is my guest, guide him to my room once he’s over with his meal.” Peter said standing up, he placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “I’ll be back before nightfall. Feel free to eat my next meal if I’m not back on time,” he told him before he walked away.

“hordes aren’t the worst enemies out there.” damien found the human race to be much, much worse these days. his former camp didn’t sink due to roamers, it broke apart due to the human race. thieves, raiders & bandits came - one by one, every week, demanding & taking until they had nothing left - only to demand more. people got scared & they ran until there was nothing left. that’s why he was on his own for the past month. most groups were dangerous, he’d not dared joining another until now.

the intruder was quite welcome, so damien sat back to watch them, raising a brow at the way the kind addressed peter. sir hale? he couldn’t help a chuckle. that peter had to go didn’t bother him, it meant he had a bed to himself amidst guards & safety - he couldn’t really complain. “be safe, mister hale.” damien grinned, stretching out on his chair. when he left, the boy stood & stared, so damien stood & let the kid lead him to peter’s room. it probably was an office once upon a time, but it was cozy enough. he could go out & explore, but a comfortable bed was the other option & he knew which he preferred. he sprawled out on the bed, his duffel discarded by the door & his boots kicked off to reveal socks that had certainly seen better days.

At the question, he looked to the door feeling the people passing by. “I’m a scouter and I get teams out of trouble when they don’t return for too long, that usually grants me a comfortable life in whatever settlement but also gives me access to secrets and to what’s going on. With time, the defenses begin to be too weak to deal with the zombies and eventually zombies break through and kill everyone or most of everyone.” Peter turned to look at him. “Before it does, I bail.”

“That should answer both of your questions,” he added smiling at him. “We could share my bed. I promise to I’ll only hug you. It can be cold at night,” not like Peter felt the cold but he was sure the other did. He wanted him in his bed even if they didn’t do anything, just his company and a body to hug for the night.

privacy was a rare privilege these days, so he knew that those furthest from the group were either special or too intimidating to be around. peter seemed to be a bit of both. according to the others peter was vital to the camp & damien knew he had to jump on that chance before someone else did. he didn’t regret it one bit, except for the offer from before that implied he was a whore. “you don’t stay to fight?” brave.

“I’m telling the truth. Behind everything on it right now, I can see you’re gorgeous. Life has just been tough for you.” Peter stated, turning his body a little to observe him better. His next words caught him off guard and he remained quiet thinking about it. Did he wanted friends? Maybe not but Damien was right in that he could use the company. “Very well. Sorry for assuming,” he finally said.

“But I don’t usually stay in a place for long, so don’t get attached.” It was a warning to help him but it wasn’t a threat. “I leave before a place collapses. They all do eventually. This one is stable enough to last longer but I can do you the favor to tell you when you should leave.” In the end, Peter was kind and he wanted to protect others but every settlement fell to zombies eventually and, as such, he rather not form any sort of bonds. He’ll lose it all again and he wouldn’t bare it.

“life’s tough on everybody right now.” everybody was either dead or starving these days - or .. that state in-between. peter hadn’t been all that wrong with his assumptions, but damien wasn’t going to tell him that. he didn’t come cheap. “alright, boss. i’ll keep my distance.” don’t get attached, huh? damien wasn’t looking for friends, just favors & those willing to grant them.

The man next to him looked skinnier than he used to be, he could see his rations were smaller than his own but just like everyone else. Usually, he wouldn’t share as he consumed for food than humans, but today he wasn’t hungry for food. Peter pushed most of his rations towards the man that was now sitting next to him. “I think you could use the food more than me,” he said, placing his elbows on the table and resting his face over one of his hands.

The compliment made him smile but he stared at the man in silence. He didn’t look like the type of man that was built for survival but somehow he had managed so he could use a hand into comfort and Peter was willing to provide. “I try to keep myself clean.” After some silence he spoke again “I can see the struggle in your face but it’s still a pretty face,” he complimented back. “I’m Peter, by the way, what’s your name?” He added then, speaking when the man told Peter his name. “Nice meeting you. Tell me, what is it that you want? I know you want something. Was it just food? I would understand but I could assume a few things though I rather not. I do have a nice place. Quiet, a mattress, private.” He was enticing him now, going straight to the point. There was no use for flirtation these days, it was a waste of time. Romance was dead and Peter wasn’t human, it was too risky. Plus love would just slow his pace down, forcing him to find a more stable place.

there was no way to eat healthy like this, when food was scarce & he had to take whatever he could to get by. he was just glad to be safe for a few nights, catch up on sleep & get some food in him before the place got overrun, too. that seemed to be the general consensus. success came quickly, just like he’d planned. so he still had it in him even in this state - or maybe he’d simply managed to stir up pity within the other. he really had to shave, cut his hair - get back into the swing of things. “thanks, handsome. you sure you don’t want any?” he’d not expected to get all of it, though he wasn’t complaining in the slightest.

How befitting it was to see humanity fall by their own devices, yet, whatever they had done had affected everybody else. Selfish. Just as they always were. Thankfully a werewolf was better equipped for survival so survival wasn’t really the problem, loneliness and worry were. Peter knew his nephews were strong and smart enough to survive this because, whatever this was, he wasn’t exactly sure a werewolf was going to heal fast enough to survive it. A zombie werewolf. Now, that was a really scary thought. But that was the worry part, the lonely part was the one currently taking its toll on the man. He wasn’t going mad, by any means, but he was craving companionship to a level he wasn’t aware could even be reached. He was lonely before, sure, but not like this. How could he trust anyone in this new world anyways? Even when he was surrounded by people he felt lonelier than ever but hesitated to go find the remains of his family for fear of rejection, he wouldn’t be able to take it right now or ever in the future, and he was lacking friends even before the zombies fell on them. But this new world was here to stay, so he either survived it or gave up and he wasn’t the type to just give up. He’ll find a way. Eventually.

Peter had moved on from settlement to settlement after all hell broke loose. Sitting still in one place felt like a problem knocking at your door but humans didn’t have the luxury a werewolf had. Peter could hunt his own food and he could use his senses and abilities to avoid danger. What he didn’t have, however, was a pack. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t need a pack, but he could use the company of others. Someone to talk to even if whatever they talked about wasn’t important at all. Werewolves craved company as much as humans did or even much more so. In exchange, he was capable to help the settlement run much more smoother. They never knew what he truly was but they knew Peter was their best scout, their best hunter, and their best scavenger, so if Peter ever demanded something? He always got it. It helped the man didn’t ask for much so when he did, he always received it. One of the many perks for working hard for these humans was getting larger rations of food. The other one was a really nice bed. His help, in his own opinion, helped any settlement remain standing for far longer than any other. They always fell apart but he would always book it before it did. Better safe than sorry. It wasn’t like he ever met anyone worth taking with before or feeling sorry about their death.

He had been here long enough to build a reputation and respect, he wasn’t feeling like leaving any time soon and people were nice enough. Currently, he was eating when someone approached him. He always sat alone when eating and the others respected his space well enough. Most of them anyways.

He looked up to the man that had just approached and asked if the spot was free. Funny as it obviously was but today was… a particularly bad one. He could use the company and he didn’t mind paying for it. “Yeah,” he replied eyeing the man. He was definitely new. “You look like you have seen better days,” Peter added. He tried to keep himself looking well enough, sometimes it meant travelling long distances to find a river where to clean up and others it meant shaving with his claws. Mighty uncomfortable if you ever ask him but it helped be well received by others. Especially when moody.

life was so much more ..basic now. it used to be all about money, reputation & influence, nowadays it was simpler, much more straight-forward. either you had what you needed or you didn’t. if you didn’t, you had to trade. damien went through half his possessions in the first two weeks, luckily, as after that - money & possession soon became worthless. getting this far from the city hadn’t been cheap when everybody wanted to escape the death that big city population brought with it.

he’d been struggling with his weight since he spent a good few months on the road with lady danger, but food shortage had definitely cost him several pounds - if not a few too many. cheeks hollow, dark circles around weary eyes. he’d seen the end & fought his way back. something .. drew him back & kept him going, but he couldn’t quite say what it was.

“great, can’t ever be sure, can you?” damien offered the sweetest grin before flopping down on the seat next to the other. “first day back in camp. it’s not as much fun out there alone.” it really wasn’t. sleep was a no, the dead could be coming at any time & without anybody else around falling asleep in any place that wasn’t safe – was death. “you’re looking pretty handsome, though. like the world didn’t go to shit. lucky me.”

days passed & humanity deteriorated, everybody came together in camps that promised safety - the army had come to save them all, but it didn’t last. the camps fell, safety zones were overrun & the people in them were forces to leave cities. a fourth of the world population fell before television stopped, half when the radios went silent. after that, everybody was on their own. government had fallen & the land belonged to the dead now.

he found a group to stay with a few weeks after the end, when that one fell apart, he was on his own for a week, or maybe two - food was so scarce he thought he might die, but then a group took him in, fed him & gave him a mattress for the night. comfiest he’d been in a long time, but he knew it wouldn’t last. still, he’d take all he could get. he still had his ways to get extra rations, even after life as they knew it ended, guys were desperate for company. he swore he wouldn’t use his charm to get his way anymore since robert, but … this was different. no more rules. “that seat taken?”

Peter glanced at his wrist one more time and then looked at his clock. Not long now. He called the bartender and ordered a fancy but manly cocktail, he wanted to impress and as such he had dressed for the occasion. The nightclub was packed, the music was loud, and the night was young. He walked away from the bar and around the placed, looked at the people in the dance floor, and the ones on the nearby tables, he looked around counting in his mind the time.

He was excited, he wanted to meet them already, pay a few drinks, dance, take them home, and fuck. Probably wouldn’t fuck with anyone else after that but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Peter was close to the bar of the other side, the place was just too big for only one. There were a few people sitting and others moving closer to talk above the music. He scanned them, someone looking at their wrist perhaps. He looked at his wrist as well and counted the seconds, once it reached zero he looked up.

The man was gorgeous, around his own age, and dressed in gucci. Peter smiled and sipped from his drink. “I’m Peter,” he greeted the man before the smell of disappointment hit him. He kept his smile in place though.

damien had never really believed in fate. he checked the ticking time bomb on his wrist every now & then, but he paid it no mind. he married young, sure his time would tick over for her eventually, but it never did & eventually hers did. she took their kids one day while damien was at work & when he came home, the apartment was empty. it was okay, he wanted her to be happy, so keeping her with him .. it wouldn’t lead them anywhere. she’d feel trapped, blame him for her bad mood, it was better this way for both of them. he met lady danger a year or two ago, they’d worked a few small cases, but the big fish he waited for.

with a wife & kids, he really couldn’t stay away to build another life with a queen, so when she left him, he embraced it. it was damn good money, a few dates & false promises later he hit the jackpot. it was almost too easy. after ending it with his last lover, he was out with another. lady danger heard him squawk at one of the drag queen clubs & it was impossible not to jump on the case. he was desperate, just like all the others. he barely ate, again just like the others. in that case it was good for him, though - he was on strict diet himself.

he was out with ray tonight, at a club they both hadn’t been at before. for once it wasn’t a specifically gay one. set at a table, they were just chatting, drinking & spending a few hours together before they’d part ways & head home. it was pure coincidence that he noticed he had a mere minute left on the clock. he excused himself - not sure why, but he did & he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. a sign maybe. alright, maybe he was curious which of the pretty lady was supposed to be his.

Seeing the man sitting next to him enjoy his car being whole again made him smile so he just watches in silence taking in the beauty of his expressions. Javier looked more gorgeous when he was this happy and Peter promised himself to try anything to see this side of Javier over and over and over again. It was intoxicating, addictive, beautiful. They barely knew each other and, yet, he found himself getting attached to this man and wanting to give him everything he never had: happiness, love, care. It was ridiculous.

Peter pulled his eyes away from him and fixed them on the outside as Javier drove him around showing him some good spots to go to. He memorized the streets, the buildings, watched the people of New York and everything was so different than, for once, he could breath freely. A new beginning. The wolf asked a few questions here and there, nothing too deep to actually start a conversation but more to learn more of his new neighborhood. The current stop was an italian restaurant, Javier promised he would love the food but it was still too soon to eat. But later he’d come for sure. “And is withing walking distance,” he comments. “Thank you.”

There were many parks and greenery in New York despite appearances but not secluded enough for an actual pack to settle in. They had just passed one that he believed he could use to run as excersise, for an actual run he’d need something far more private than what this state had to offer. Maybe Central Park? He knew it was a behemoth. He’ll check it out once alone but, for now… “Any parks you like to visit often?”

“you picked a great place to live.” peter lived close to almost everything he could want; restaurants, stores, clubs - he wouldn’t need to want for anything in the world in that location. damien didn’t live that far from him, but peter would never find out. the address he planned to give him was nowhere near close to his apartment. “everything you could want is within walking distance, so you might not even need your car that often.” which meant he could be driving peter through the city instead, which in return would give him the chance to make peter rely on him more. it was all part of the binding process. he was making good progress.

“parks aren’t really my thing, i guess.” he had no reason to go, not without his kid around. “used to take my kid, but his mother doesn’t want us to go to his favorite park across town anymore.” she barely trusted him with their kid, which was ridiculous - she was as bad a person as he was. he’d never done wrong by their child, yet she acted like he’d abused him - or would lose him if they went somewhere populated.

“Ah, I was thinking something more country side like a river or a lake but the beach sounds nice. Beer sounds very enticing for that.” He knew Javier wanted to bring things but Peter couldn’t help but want to butt in. “The sand is going to be horrible to get off once wet so I’ll bring extra towels too but I wonder if I should get myself a speedo for this occasion,” he’s teasing, of course, but he would totally wear it if it achieved something other than public embarrassment. “If you don’t have to work, though, Friday would be perfect.” He knew how it could be in big cities and even in the small town of Beacon Hills himself but in the big cities traffic was even worse.

He waited patiently and let Javier enjoy his car looking as good as new, he knew the pained feeling of seeing your car trashed though in his own case was more like bombed than trashed. With him inside. Thankfully, he was harder to kill than that. “No problem,” Peter replied when Javier thanked him but he looked at the man puzzled as he walked to the passanger seat and not the driver. For a moment he thought he didn’t want to drive, which was odd, but then he realized the man’s intentions. With a smile he walked towards him and got in the car. Once Javier was in, he asked Peter where to go but… “I barely know the city so why don’t you give me a tour and show me the best places?”

It was the little things. Details that reminded him of home and made it miss it but the horrible memories that place gave him and how people just pushed him aside would ensure he stayed put in New York, very far away from them. Wolves tended to be near forest preserves, anything where they could run secluded too, and New York was anything but that. It made it the perfect place to live. This will be his home now and hopefully he could even start building something with Javier.

inside the car, damien felt whole again - like he’d finally found a missing limb & only now did that nagging feeling in the back of his head go away. that little voice that kept whispering that he was dumb to go behind lady danger’s back & try make a living on his own again. he was so used to being her tool, he almost forgot that he was the one doing all the work. she just found him targets, he spent months on them, every single day while trying to keep them from discovering his real life.

he let his hands run over the smooth interior of the car, the wheel & along the side by the door. his baby was complete again. he just hoped driving through the country on those crap tires didn’t do too much damage in the long run. he loved that car more than anything. “you want me to be your tour guide, huh? alright, buckle up.” he let his baby roar to life & the sound was pure, utter music to his ears. he never thought he’d be happy about having a back window.

“That’s right, I’m not in Beacon Hills anymore,” he mused to himself. Any body of water here was probably easy to access in comparison, he needed to go out more and learn the city better because this was straight out embarrassing. “We can arrange the exact day and time once we’ve chosen the location but I’m guessing any time around midday would be perfect on Friday or Saturday.”

When they arrived at the shop Peter didn’t need to make any type of effort to smell how excited Javier was upon seeing his car as good as new because it was all over him and then some. “Just a bit longer,” he promised as they entered the building. They went straight to the counter and had a quick chat with the man behind it getting the keys and a debrief of what was done to the car. Once that over with, they walked out and Peter handed him the keys with a smile. He looked adorable being this excited.

“it’s half an hour, tops. an hour for a more secluded beach.” he didn’t care either way as he knew his friends & family didn’t really frequent the beach. any beach. the tended to stay in town, so most places outside of the district he grew up in & outside town were safe for him. he felt light when he pretended to be someone else, like the weight that rested on his shoulders was lifted & he could be free, but it was a facade. those guys he tricked didn’t know the real him, they wouldn’t want him if they did. “traffic’s gonna be better on friday.” traffic in the city was horrific. they’d need forever to get anywhere.

“yeah, i know.” he wasn’t trying to let it show, but apparently his excitement wasn’t as subtle as he believed it to be if even a more or less stranger could see. pull yourself together, man. inside, he was quiet, mostly just following along. this was his deal, damien was just .. watching. once the deed was done, they walked back outside & around to where they could pick up his car & peter handed him the keys, which… was nice. a smile played around his lips as his fingers closed around the cold metal. he was only now getting a good look at her & damn, she looked good. the tires were fixed, no more donut tires - the back window looked like it never got bashed in.. he hated to admit it, but lady danger was right. he could make big money if he really wanted to. well, right now the cops were onto him still, but .. some day.

Much like Damien thought Peter was falling in his trap, Peter thought Javier was falling in love with him but that he still had a lot of work to do if he intended for this relationship to last. He laughed at his date’s comment though and at his fake indignation. “I promise,” he said, still chuckling. “I’ll rent a jeep this weekend and pick you up, just give me your address. I’ll look up places to go during the week and text them to you so we can choose one together.“

They stood up and began walking back to the shop to pick up Javier’s car. The man was clearly happy and excited, it made Peter himself feel happy. His smile was stunning. "Oh, cheeky, I like it.” The wolf said with a joking tone. “But you’re right, it’s the main reason I’m here but the list is slowly growing.” They weren’t far from the shop now so they began seeing the building as they approached it.

“or i can pick you up in my car & you don’t waste money on a rental.” there was no need to rent a car, peter had just paid for damien’s to be repaired, so he might as well let damien drive him around. “just tell me when to be at your place & i’ll be there, peter.” he wasn’t budging on that, the tone of his voice was soft, yet determined enough to shine through the kind smile. he knew better ways for peter to spend the money he had if he felt like throwing it away.