the devil may or may not care

if i ever do write an actual I've done it suicide note i think I'll head it with "fuck you, thank you, i love you all"

if this was a just world, i think i should be able to sue the NOPD for the college tuition i ended up owing the state after i failed out due to ummm. dealing with the fallout of all That

I'd probably be less of an alcoholic if i hadnt had a (I'm gonna say it) deeply traumatic experience with weed/being stoned in general. seems weird to me to refer to something i trot out as a ha-ha isn't that crazy story as deeply traumatic but i do, in fact, think it was. but also, experience many people have and they keep on smoking just fine so idk. perhaps i am just fragile

also re: dream/nightmare blunt rotations, i think its gotta depend on the finite-ness of the weed and how much you actually care about smoking some of it. some of the most interesting, charismatic, and gregarious people I've ever met in my life are in fact the worst people to share a blunt with if you do in fact want to smoke any significant part of it bc they will get caught up in telling a story you very much want to hear but they'll be bogarting that shit like it's their job the whole time. and if you can just roll another one right afterwards, that doesn't matter. you just got dinner and a show. but if that's all the weed the group has, it can be a bummer. sometimes you do just wanna share a blunt with 2-3 coworkers and all any of you talk about the whole time is when you've all gotta clock back in lmao bc then you actually equitably split the thing

kind of embarrassing how much of my fridge is different forms of bread and different forms of dairy