pac: embrace your darkness.
general reading. pick a pile, listening to your intuition. if nothing resonates, leave this pac behind.
HEAVY | ADULT | TRIGGERING TOPICS CAN BE MENTIONED
to understand and accept your dark sides, you should first of all look at things more broadly than you are used to. darkness is always relative, and what seems bad or dark to you in yourself can be the most attractive to others. look at yourself from the outside, examine every aspect of your personality and try to find something new in it. every flaw can be turned into strength. in addition, some circle of people in which you are emotionally and spiritually involved can help you. this can be your family, friends, as well as your hobby club, witch community and so on. perhaps you can draw strength for self-acceptance even in the circle of your favorite plants, animals or spirits - the main thing is that you feel a connection with this community on the level of feelings, heart. this connection will help you to see yourself better, discovering in yourself what you did not expect.
if you are oppressed by public opinion or someone else's, then I want to tell you this: darling, you are more than enough. you are as good as you can be at this stage of your life. you can shine like the midnight sun whenever you want - all the ways to do it are in your hands. yes, these ways may seem unusual or even unfair to others, but they are your ways, and you should use them. take the lockpicks from your sleeve and open the way for your own freedom with them, because you deserve it right now.
know that your darkness is ready for you to accept it. you need to love yourself a little more, admit to yourself that you are already good enough, and then go out in all your dark beauty to the world. trust me, you will catch glances when you manage to come to terms with your shadow.
the darkness inside you is just waiting for the right moment to break out. perhaps you were forbidden to express and use it, or maybe you yourself suppressed your own dark sides, and in the end it turned into tension. if you do not give free rein to what you have locked inside for so long, your thoughtless actions can lead to bad consequences. a sharp change will follow in any case, but you can still decide whether you will do it yourself or let someone break you. people who know a lot about what is hidden in the darkness of your soul can help you cope. perhaps it is time to finally go to a psychologist, if you have been putting it off for a long time. maybe you will be able to share your thoughts with someone on the Internet and someone will share their own experience with you in return. communication based on mind and reason is now your key to your own darkness.
in general, you should rely more on yourself and your own intuition. be gentle with yourself, listen to your own needs, think about how best to implement them. there are probably more productive ways to deal with your dark sides than just pushing them deep into your soul, so that they gather dust and lie there as a heavy dead weight.
remember about the upcoming turning point, but do not retreat from your goal. strong emotional storms can distract you, someone can try to get you out of yourself, divert you from the path of understanding your own darkness. but you should stay the course, and before each new step take at least a few seconds to think. darkness is not only chaos, it is also a skillfully applied mind.
i get the feeling that your dark sides are underdeveloped or that they were never important to you before. this is the part of your life that has been a shadow on the periphery of your vision, always dimmed by the sun of your soul - or perhaps you have become so accustomed to only shining that you have literally deprived yourself of darkness. but these sides, no matter how unusual they are, are in you. you have room for self-expression in all its forms, you have an internal charge of sexuality that is ready to unfold. but, as for the previous pile, what is important for you is persistence and the ability to go on without deviating from the course. perhaps soon you will no longer be able to shine as brightly and sunny as before, and you will have to learn to live with your dark sides.
however, you should remember that your path is not based on coercion. if you force yourself to do something that is not close to you, the process of accepting your shadow sides will simply not happen. for you, the only way to fully accept yourself is to naturally learn to grasp your inner nature and boldly, but not harshly, defend it. you have enough strength to tame, develop and protect your dark sides from other people's opinions.
don't be afraid to ask for help from others if you feel you need it. your loved ones (or rather, loved souls, including even undead or divine ones) can become your companions and guides on the path to self-improvement and self-acceptance. your darkness should be gradually studied, accepted and grown. for you, this is a long journey that will bring special fruits.
first of all, I will say that this pile has a lot of trauma and healing cards. and the most traumatized thing I see is sexuality. maybe someone from this pile has experienced a big trauma in life, physical or moral, and it still hurts and leaves an imprint on your life. i deeply grieve and sympathize with everyone who has encountered something like this, and I just hope that you have not closed yourself off from yourself and others. i understand that the healing process here will be very long and difficult, but believe me, you have the strength to cope. the main strength for this pile is to believe in the impossible, even when it seems stupid and useless. you should turn to people who can help you with their knowledge, to specialists, to experienced and smart persons. and even when it seems to you that there is still so much ahead, and there is no more strength, you will be able to look back and see how much you have already gone through. the dark sides for this pile will not be a weapon, as for other piles, but rather a source of energy from which you were torn away. at the same time, remember that the darkness is not empty - it is inhabited and filled with your reserves, which are important. you will never be empty, even on the darkest night of your life.
two things will help you cope with other people's opinions, assessments and comments. firstly, the ability to hear yourself and your needs, and secondly, intentional and thoughtful small details that you can start with. respond to someone's remark calmly, justify your actions and your choice with arguments. show others that you are independent, that pressure on you will not achieve anything, and step by step win back your freedom to be as dark as you want.
you are already on the threshold of moving to the stage of active healing of your dark and sensual sides. you will no longer have to hide the darkness and protect it, like a black kitten, behind the collar of your jacket. just a little more, and if you resist the temptation to give up everything, you will be able to fully help yourself become your true self.
you already know about your dark sides firsthand, right? at least you are already very close to accepting your own darkness, and there are only a few steps left. at this last stage of the path, which you could have passed even unconsciously, you will have to cleanse your life from the husk that is holding you back. if you wanted to try to reveal some of your dark sides, but were hesitant, cast aside doubts. if your darkness has long been asking to come out and show itself to the world, let it go and see what happens. you have more than enough opportunities and skills to cope with yourself and at the same time give yourself free rein. it is good if you came to this consciously. if your path was previously purely intuitive and you have no idea how it all happened, you should take a minute to analyze. as soon as you catch the patterns and features of your darkness, you will learn not only to encourage it, but also to manage it.
if you feel pressure from society, you should not react emotionally. you will be able to get rid of this alien burden in more gentle ways. you already almost completely feel your dark sides, so it will be enough for you to reflect on the reason for someone else's discontent to understand whether it is worth paying attention to it at all. i believe that you can do it. even if you are scared, believe me, you just have to try. if you can't fight for yourself right away, try to fence yourself off for a while. you will be able to fight back as soon as you feel the strength in yourself and come up with a good way to do so.
don't be afraid of change. in the past, you were the version of yourself that had not yet found the strength to accept its dark sides. now you have a weapon in your hands with which you can pave the way forward for yourself, to the desired version of your personality. let what happened once no longer hold you back. in the future, you will already be much stronger if you turn to the depths of your shadow.
dividers by @strangergraphics-archive, all images are not mine