You're All a Bunch of Babysitting Bastards! @theworstbastardhere - Tumblr Blog

We got the torture labyrinth tomorrow

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wifegideonnav

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

pseudomantis

Why do they keep taking away their swag/cuteness

pseudomantis

The raptors one is the most painful one for me they literally had a dinosaur playing basketball in their logo maybe the coolest thing in the fucking world and they were like let's get rid of him

a-book-of-creatures

#i assume this doesn't get the outrage that replacing a racist mascot gets

reasonandfaithinharmony

…and the vet was like, “You know the thing with geriatric cats is—” and I was like, “What do you mean, geriatric?! It’s a little baby, look at her!" Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts (2025)

c3rvida3

Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

mucmucvi

This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins

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teethwreath

god this tickles me

(OP's tiktok here)

chryza

Debating silently showing this to one of the flight attendants while boarding

chryza

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

bippysaurus-rex

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

hellenhighwater

I designed a new flag for Barntopia, because it’s the truth:

silly-signs

Official silly sign

lazarus-lazuli

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

theworstbastardhere

thepromiscuousfinger

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czw

headspace-hotel

It slaps though

oswednesday

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

teaboot

I would immediately suspect you to be the whimsical assassin who killed them

warcrimesimulator

waknatious

motziedapul

Not enough people are understanding the funniest part of this. Everyone's making colour theory jokes but the dad is colour blind. The most common colour blindness is red green colour blindness. It's the one where red and green look relatively the same shade of brown.

Everyone's talking about the blood carpet. Dad is seeing a carpet absolutely blasted with shit.

icannotgetoverbirds

perfect for a sanitation company!

hellsite-hall-of-fame

Do you have any of those posts from back in the day where users obsessively cataloged and compared Tumblr updates changing the Tumblr Blue? I remember that feeling like a particularly wild west Era of tumblr

I genuinely have been trying to search for this, but I have not been able to track down any posts that i feel qualify as this

I was not on here then, but i maybe vaguely remember a couple of posts of this genre? they have to exist somewhere

if anyone knows of any, please send them as I'm honestly really interested in finding this now

mxalmighty

This?

hellsite-hall-of-fame

^yes! this is definitely the one i had a vague recollection of

💬 4 🔁 363 ❤️ 974 · Tumblr’s change of colors kinda reminds me of a teenage girl who was grounded and decided to dye her hair in retaliatio

💬 155 🔁 40915 ❤️ 44890 · HOW DID YOU EVEN THINK PURE FUCKING GREEN AGAINST BLUE DIPPED IN TAR WAS A GOOD IDEA?! · Look. I get it. I am one

^these also definitely showcase this era

justcatposts

Little girl teaching her cats how to draw a flower

(via)

hottiewitabloggie

they’re? just? sitting there ???

ladycavalier

it makes it 100% better that i can’t understand her, i feel like i’m hearing what cats hear

socialistexan

crtter

Heh, she’s speaking Portuguese! Here’s what she’s saying:

*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”

Luis Roberto and Jurandir are people names (Jurandir is especially a name associated with older men) so it’s extra funny that the cats are named that, heh.

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teaboot

Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year

teaboot

"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade

teaboot

At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever

thulium

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