(dead) occtis tachonis

which on one hand is a valid concern! occtis these days frequently has to be stealthy and there's nothing less stealthy than an occtis-themed patchwork taxidermy fox following someone around. it's also something occtis doesn't understand, and that contradiction is probably a source of frustration as much as it is interesting. there just, might be a deeper layer here

i wrote a meta waaaaay back when about how occtis in ep 3 told us he was trying to make a scary creature that would fight (shadow sorcerers at level 6 get the ability to summon dogs of darkness to attack people), but pin wasn't good at it and didn't want to, so he modified the spell closer to find familiar, and how that's showing a lot more forgiveness and love towards pin for not being what he was supposed to be than occtis ever got from his own family

and pin as a result of that (and whatever gave him so much life that even occtis can't explain), seems to go where he wants and do what he wants

but pin might not actually be going against his intended purpose at all

occtis whose primary emotion when he thinks of his childhood, despite what we've seen of his family, isn't fear it's loneliness. who only ever had one friend, and didn't really get to see her all that much. who honestly believed (until he was proven wrong) that his family was going to just ignore him forever, and was okay with that. who spent five years at boarding school and still doesn't know what a birthday party is. who's been apart from his one childhood friend since well before he made pin

and who, despite how he acts around pin most of the time, was devastated to see him dissipate, and didn't feel calm again until he could resummon him

oh absolutely!

and to that, now you're making me think of it, pin (while still being his own creature) does in many ways kinda embody the id, through his nature as a familiar. occtis would never do so himself, but he'll let pin stay up all night protecting thimble, he'll send pin to spy on julien's conversation with ingrid, pin gets to be part of the bath scene. pin is a sounding board for occtis to have a very literal conversation with himself. and as mentioned, pin is unmistakeably occtis' in appearance, occtis put himself into every part of that fox

which occtis as someone who grew up being told he was worthless and everything he did was wrong, has a pretty complicated relationship with. on one hand, pin's existence is a pretty bold move just in general, it's a hello here i am in a world that so far mostly hasn't wanted occtis to be there. on the other, occtis knows that neither he nor pin are particularly welcome among certain people, which means his first instinct when he starts getting scared about not being liked, is to put pin away! literally the first conversation we get with occtis is him hiding pin from shadia bc he assumes she'd find him creepy, he does the same with vaelus when she asks - though he was wrong in both cases, neither ended up judging him for it

(which is kind of a secondary unintended purpose of pin not listening, the literal metaphor of you can't try to be loved while hiding everything about yourself, that's not how that works)