Side blog for things I don't want on main

i need to stress how much of this is @artemis-crimson's fault. things get kinda cursed past the readmore be warned.

Scott: degradation. because what even is there with which to degrade hockey's most well-behaved Goodest Boy besides that which rozanov has already said about him?

... The uncomfortable truth behind that being, rozanov’s chirping is the reason he's into it in the first place.

Kip: sugar baby stuff. They try it several years down the line because they are Making An Effort to spice things up, and scott cites the wedding venue as the one (1) time kip unreservedly enjoyed it. So maybe they could give it another go? Turns out, kip is into it. This is horrible.

Fabian doesn’t tell Ryan to quit hockey because Fabian hates hockey — He recognizes that impulse in himself, but that’s not the same thing as it being the motivating force. He tells Ryan to quit hockey because hockey, at least the kind of hockey Ryan plays at work, is obviously destroying Ryan’s body and mental health and Fabian does not want to sit around and watch that happen.

Getting shane to do drugs in the bathroom with him

How to use the current situation to commit metaphorical suicide

His mom

How much he fucking hates losing at hockey like genuinely hates it and it makes him feel sick every time he sees everyone treat him like the laughing stock he knows he is because even though he was the second best in the league and the best captain (key word was) he can’t lead the centaurs to victory it kills him a little more and theres a part of him that wishes his dad was still alive so he could get a phone call after every loss to validate how terrible he is

Getting ilya to quit smoking

Which drills the metros third line needs to do to at least not embarrass him

His diet

They know oh my god they can tell everyone can tell it was a fools errand to even pretend that they couldn’t tell they can all tell and everyone is laughing behind his back because they thing he doesn’t know that they all know because he cant let them know he knows but oh my god they all know

in bed later STILL not over it, and being bitchy about "should i call pike? you are so excited to let him get you pregnant?"

and shane is *eyeroll* "hey ilya? should we pause on foreplay and cover biology real quick? seems like russia kind of fucked up on the sex ed if you're actually asking me that fucking question."

and ilya is still too simmering in jealousy to joke about it yet and is just, "if anyone is going to get you pregnant, hollander, it will be ME." while pinning shane to the mattress.

Certified husband guy Ilya Rozanov after someone calls him a cocksucker on the ice: Have you seen my husband? Yes, I suck his cock. So sad for you that you will never get to.

Ilya Rozanov, showing up late to a gala after his husband, Shane Hollander, was away for some commercial shoot and he didn't get to see him before the event, looking genuinely frantic: Have you seen my husband anywhere??

Ilya out for lunch with Shane, when the bill comes along: Oh, my rich hockey player husband will take care of that.

Ilya Rozanov, drunk out of his mind at his husband-mandated night out with Cliff (because he needs the enrichment), not so gently turning down some woman who's blatantly flirting with him: Do you even know who my husband is???