Tumble and Bumble

I. Am. Miserable.

Miserable. Miserable. Miserable.

I am miserable.

Miserable, I am Miserable, I am.

Miserable am I.

Miserable. I am. Miserable.

I am miserable

Miserable.

I

Am

Miserable

M I S E R A B L E

I L

S B

E please A

R free R

A me E

B S

L I

So, I had a thought today whilst eating a bagel: why is it that the bagel is so satisfying? What draws me to it so? Why, when the hunger pang desperados come rolling through the dusty town of My Tummy, does the wisened Sheriff Bagel gun them down every time? It was at this point that I took another bight of wisened Sheriff Bagel. Then it hit me, a flicker, a glint, a flash of a thought: I should have put tomatoes on this... and some capers. Oooh, would cucumber go good on this? Cucumber and peanut butter? Wait... that’d probably go better on a plain bagel. Wait, what would go good on an onion bagel? Maybe a burger? Yeah... shit, you could probably do meatball bagel. Could you do a spaghetti bagel... No, but ravioli might work, probably have to use a thick sauce... maybe a paste. Hmmm.

The thought descended rapidly into various other thoughts along the same thought thoroughfare that eventually spilled out into a grand lake of a decision: bagels are simply the best companion for other foods. One might argue that bread is superior due to its lack of hole, but i say that a bagel has no hole for the space at its center is filled with the spirit of the bagel, the essence of what it means to be... Bagel.

Also, no one likes to be a square so why the hell would you pick a rectangular prism. Beyond that, a bagel is always on time. By the time you’ve taken your last bite (or are close to it) your next bagel is already ready to be covered in that velvety sour cream / jam / butter / Nutella (you sickos), and horked down. Bread has to change its name before it pops out of the machine. With bagel, the assumption of toast is already present. So you bread peons can suck it!